name confusion

Saint_Chris

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jackieb

Chris, I envy you, because if this is such a big deal to you then you must've had a relatively stress free life - in all honesty this is nothing to get worked up about. Try and not get stressed out about it. Be thankful your grandchild has 2 grandparents who love her so much they'll squabble with each other about what she'll call them. Please just put things into perspective. x

coolcait

Saint_Chris wrote: »

no she wasn't nan under duress, she's now saying, it's confusing to the child that the child and grandaughter calls her nan, she thinks that is confusing.

I think having 2 nannies is confusing.

I was hoping as an adult she would have seen this.

you know what, my mum will be at home now in bed, asleep nothing bothering her, as she knows that as the older person she will get her way.

I'm the one here wanting what we always thought we was. Nan and nannie.

Maybe this means nothing to some people, but to me it does.

I do lots for my parents they are round here every sunday for dinner, we go out as a family i go on holiday with my parents and i appreciate them and love them to bits.

but when something matters to me, it just does

You know, it's probably obvious to everyone (except you right now) that you are coming out with a lot of 'pot,kettle, black' statements. Unless you're doing it deliberately, of course.

You and your mum are both using the 'it's confusing for the child' excuse.

As an adult, I would hope that you can see this.

You are wanting to have what you always wanted - that you get to be called the name of your choice, and your mum gets to be called the name of your choice. ("so we said well you be nan").

I doubt very much that your mother is asleep right now. Someone who has been told "well you be nan", and has said "from today I"m now known as nan" doesn't sound like a person who will be calm and contented and fast asleep.

Maybe this matters to her too.

It also matters to your grandchild. Her relationship with your mother is not based on the name she uses. The most confusing and damaging thing for the child will be the fact that the adults she loves have fallen out over something as ridiculous and petty as a name.

Especially when there is no reason on God's earth why the same name can't be used for more than one person.

Saint_Chris

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jackieb

Saint_Chris wrote: »

when i knew i was going to be a grandparent i said i always wanted to be called nannie.

My mum wasn't happy at being called gran, grandma or grannie, so we said well you be nan, as that is what she is to my daughter.

She wasn't to happy with this as we knew she wanted to be nannie.

Saint_Chris wrote: »

because if i'd known 18 months ago my mum was going to say nannie, i would have not chose that, i would have chose a different name.

Read what you have written. Your mum wanted to be called nannie. You wanted to be called nannie. You told her she was going to be called nan.

JB1971

I would be saying exactly the same thing - whether it be nan, nanny, gran or Bob if you prefer - it doesn't matter. What does matter is that the child is loved by her family regardless of what names/labels they prefer to go by.

Saint_Chris

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jackieb

Saint_Chris wrote: »

So i have to let the great grandma to be what she wants to be

instead of the great grandma thinking it's my daughters 1st grandchild and she wants to be nannie, i don't want to be gran etc but as my grandaughter calls me nan, i don't see a problem with my greatgrandaughter calling me that.

I give up.

shellsuit

Thinking on, I called all mine Nanny, same as I called all the men, Grandad.

My Mum and stepdad say that she is Nanna, but my little one never says Nanna, it's always Nanny.

They don't care though so long as the little fella acknowledges them.


So long as your Grandchild acknowledges you, does it matter what they call you?

I've been called Mam, Mom, Mummy, Momma...all in the space of 2 and a half years.

He knows who I am so it doesn't matter what he calls me, so long as when he does call me, I acknowledge him and respond.


Don't take it to heart, just be thankful for having the pair of them in your life



ETA : You said...

And when my grandaughter grows up i think it will be to confusing to the child.

That's the thing, it WON'T be confusing. Seriously, it won't.

coolcait

Saint_Chris wrote: »

..
If this had been my mum posting saying, i was known as nan but want to be nannie the same as my daughter and 12 months down the line i've just changed it, what would you be saying.

If that was what she had posted, then I'd give the reply about labels not being important. Because they're not.

And I would have naively said that "I'm sure your daughter will understand", because I have never seen anyone get themselves into such a tizz over such a small thing. Well, except trolls of course.

That said, from what you've told us, I think your mum would be posting along much more emotive lines. Which would probably include phrases about her daughter wanting to have her own way and so on. The kind of thing you've accused her of doing.

You really have no clue how you're coming across on this one, have you? (again assuming that it's not deliberate). But, your stats show that you've been on this site long enough to know how rare it is to have a thread which is so unanimous in telling the OP (however subtly) "Sorry, I think you're wrong on this one"