name confusion

JB1971

You are missing the point - you don't have to change your name! My nans (and great grandma) were all nan to me! Just as Uncle Al and Cousin Al were just Al etc. etc. No confusion - a name is just a name, it doesn't define the person!

jackieb

Saint_Chris wrote: »

I do understand what your all saying

but

why could my mum just not stick to the name 'nan' that for the past 12 months we have all thought she was.

And me nannie.

why 12 months down the line do we have to change.

Maybe she was 'nan' under duress and she's been calling herself nannie all along.

coolcait

As others have said, children have an extraordinary capacity to learn and understand.

They can deal with having parents - and therefore grandparents - who speak different languages. They can deal with the fact that half of the menfolk in the family are called John, and half of the womenfolk are called Janet.

They can even deal with the fact that some of the menfolk prefer to be called Janet, and some of the womenfolk prefer to be called John. They're usually better at that than most of the 'adults' around them.

Your grandchild is not going to be confused by the fact that two of the women who love him/her are called nannie. Not a chance.

This is entirely your issue. Recognise that. Own it. Stop hiding behind nonsense excuses like 'it will confuse the child'.

State your case exactly as it comes across here:

You want to be called 'nannie'. No one else is to be called 'nannie'. 'Nannie' is your name, and your name alone. No excuses, no lapses, no one else calling themself 'nannie'. Your way or the highway.

In a story of four generations, including a one year old, the baby seems to be the most mature emotionally - loving and being loved, without worrying about labels.

Gingham_R

Saint_Chris wrote: »

I do understand what your all saying

but

why could my mum just not stick to the name 'nan' that for the past 12 months we have all thought she was.

And me nannie.

why 12 months down the line do we have to change.

Because she wants to. It doesn't effect what you are called at all.

Saint_Chris

...........................................

jackieb

Saint_Chris wrote: »

no she wasn't nan under duress, she's now saying, it's confusing to the child that the child and grandaughter calls her nan, she thinks that is confusing.

I think having 2 nannies is confusing.

I was hoping as an adult she would have seen this.

you know what, my mum will be at home now in bed, asleep nothing bothering her, as she knows that as the older person she will get her way.

I'm the one here wanting what we always thought we was. Nan and nannie.

Maybe this means nothing to some people, but to me it does.

I do lots for my parents they are round here every sunday for dinner, we go out as a family i go on holiday with my parents and i appreciate them and love them to bits.

but when something matters to me, it just does

The only problem is that you two are very alike, that's all.

shellsuit

My little man has 4 nannies.

My Mum, my husband's stepmum and my 2 Nan's.

He's coming upto 3 and has never been confused.

Same with Grandad, which he has 4. My Dad, my stepdad, my husband's Grandad and my husband's Dad.

He doesn't call them Nanny X, Nanny Y and Nanny Z yet, he just calls them all Nanny.


Don't be put out, it really doesn't matter. When the little one is older they will call you Nanny Chris and your Mum Nanny Flo/Ethel/Mo whatever her name is! xx


ETA, Nanny is so much easier for little ones to say, than Nan


Forgot to mention also, I have to call my husband 'Daddy' when little one is around now and I have to call my Dad by his name, as little one has started called my Dad, Dad and his Dad, 'Stebe' lol

JB1971

You are tying yourself up in knots about nothing. Your daughter, your mum and you all love the baby and she in turn loves all of you. Labels just aren't important - certainly not important enough to fall out with your own mother (who gives up her own time to care for her great granddaughter to enable her granddaughter to work!) After re-reading the thread though, I see that you refer to the baby as 'our baby' thereby excluding your mum? Do you think that she will somehow usurp you?

Saint_Chris

.................................

Gingham_R

Saint_Chris wrote: »

i don't understand how someone who 18 months ago agreed to be nan and me nannie now has changed there mind, and they are when they are on there own with the child saying nannie, and when i heard her, wasn't happy when i approached her about it.

You sound confused by your mum's choice. Thing is, she's made that choice and you can either decide to accept that or let it bother you.

Her choice doesn't affect you and once you realise that I think you'll feel a lot better about it.