Internet Dating Discussion

SailorSam

richardvc wrote: »

Sorry, I must take issue here - surely it is about as personal as you can get ?

I'm on Plentyoffish when i first joined i did get upset and take it personal if i'd taken the time to write a decent first message and never got a reply, but then i realised it happens to everyone so now not getting a message back is like water off a ducks back.
This is a subject that comes up over and over again in the forums of PoF, usually asked by a newie and almost everyone who posts a reply says they've had the same problem, and it hits both sexes and all shapes and sizes.
Remember when you read someones profile on any of these dating sites what they have written may not be completely true, it's basically an advert for people trying to sell themselves, but if you read the sites forums you'll get to know more about the regular posters (and they'll get to know you) so maybe that's the time to do a PM, even if you don't get a date you're more likely to get a reply.

benb76

mumof1and1ontheway wrote: »

its much better to chat online for a few months or longer before thinking of anything more, than to rush in and meet many people who just arnt right? hth

this is (in my opinion) a really bad way to go about it! If you spend too long chatting online or via email, you end up forming an impression of the person in your mind, which may differ considerably from real life (even with photos provided).

I used online dating with succcess a few years back. I found the best way was to exchange a handful of messages over a day or 2, and then arrange to meet up for a drink and chat. What's the point of keeping it online for months? It's easy to hide or lose your real personality from behind a keyboard, besides much more fun to be had by interacting in real life.

My tip for a first date would be to arrange it for a weekday night, that way you don't feel obliged to stay out late, nor do you feel it's a waste of a night out if things don't click. Additionally, bars etc. tend to be fairly quiet and relaxed and you get the bonus good feeling of being out on a school night!

With regar to the OP's problem of not getting any replies. I'd agree with what has already been written and say that your profile needs tweaking a bit. Photos are probably the most important thing although I'd advise against getting a pro photographer, this just makes you look a bit fake. Have you tried taking a pic of yourself at arm's length? The best way to do this is to be looking towards either a window or light (to reduce red eye), and take loads of photos of yourself then check them out on your pc to pick the best. My top tip for getting a natural smile is to put on some music that makes you feel good and think of something that makes you giggle at the same time as your taking your pics.

Ladyhawk

Benb76 - really good advice. Especially about meeting up fairly quickly... why would you want to waste time on someone a) isn't actually wanting to meet up and b) is not suitable.

Plus it is a real confidence boost when you are meeting new people all the time.

LeotheLioness

I would recomend Parship. Met my partner in August 2008 on there and we now live, very happily, together :j
I am 37 and OH is 43 - we had both been on other sites without any luck and would recomend this site to anyone.
What I liked about this site was that there were "ice breaker questions" anyone can send to other users - hence a conversation can be started. Also, your photo is "hidden" so you can decide who sees you - my OH was the first and only one I met on Parship.
There is a detailed questionaire too - takes a while to complete but worth the time, we both have similar values which really does add something very important (ie money, morals etc) to a relationship.
We chatted on the site for a couple of days or so. Talked on the phone then arranged to meet. I agree with other comments wereby it is pointless chatting over email for too long. You need to meet the other person to see if that spark is there.
I hope this helps. Wow - this is my first post :eek:

review1

Really good site my friend used as shes a single mother.

dating4parents.org.uk

Februarycat

I recently joined the friendsreuniteddating site and have been very disppointed, not had any messages, pleased I only joined for a month will not be renewing my subs.

prestonblue

Ive been a member on OkCupid for a while, its very good more quality than quantity but its free and well worth a look check out my profile if you want some tips Good Luck :beer:

Bella79

I met my husband on datingdirect.com or co.uk ??, we met over 6 years ago on there were now married and have a little girl, i found it the most "normal" one ! goodluck x

euripidesralph

Hi

I met my now husband on datingagency.com, it was a pretty good website - you did get a few not replying and some more neffarious characters but I found it fairly simple to despatch the latter with a no thanks message.

With the profile styles, I have to admit I tried a couple of different ones but then gave up and just put the plain facts without slant and voila. :-)

DH profile was literally 5 lines and I tease him now about it being the worst picture he has ever had of him, but the profile was all about him, his love of camping and motorbikes so i could see straight away that we had things in common.

Sometimes though I do think it can be blind luck, DH was on about to cancel his account when he saw my profile and thought he would give it a final shot.

Really truly good luck to you, I always was worried about what people thought of the way we met but hes the love of my life, and we are happily married, so its worth it.

xx

donna1001x

This message really is a warning about match.com terms and conditions. If you sign up for anything with them you are on an automatic renewal payment for which you receive no warning, no reminder, nothing.

My story is i signed up in December for 6 months as they kept saying people had viewed my profile from a previous time i was registered. When I had joined before I am 100% positive that you subscribed manually again. I got offered a special deal which seems too good to be true (well it was). Unfortunately my mum became very ill and I was unable to use the service much so didnt qualify for the "love guarentee" which if your wondering also has terms and conditions. She later passed away which obviously was a difficult time for everyone and the last thing on my mind was checking my internet dating. It wasnt until I noticed the charge from my bank that I was made away of these terms and conditions (which i still believe it didnt state when I signed up because I am good at reading the small print). I called day days within this payment being taken and was fobbed off. I called 6 times before being able to speak to a manager. 3 times they promised someone will call me back which never happened.

I dont want 6 months of match to be honest free datng sites have a lot more features and are free!! Even with my "special" circumstances they would do nothing no compromise. All i want is my money back for a service I dont want. If i brought something in a shop and I wasnt happy with it I could take it back but it seems with subscriptions services you have no rights.

BE WARNED MATCH.COM IS NO BETTER (ACTUALLY IN MANY WAYS ITS WORSE) THAN ANY OF THE FREE DATING SITES AND THEY ARE SNEAKY AND VERY VERY UNHELPFUL