Internet Dating Discussion

Errata

Careful with the words you use. Tactile usually equals groper

ellay864

Have you tried either chat sites, or dating sites that have chat rooms, rather than just posting and e-mailing? I used chat rooms for several years when I first became a single mum. Yes they can have awful reputations, yes there are some very odd people around, but you'd be surprised at how many perfectly normal folk there are. I rarely used the private messaging box until I'd talked to someone in the rooms openly for a while...nothing would make me block a guy quicker than a private message just popping up when we'd not said anything in the room. I had several dates with chat room guys, most never went beyond just a lunch out, a couple were a bit more fun if you get my drift lol. I never went out looking for a relationship and I think that helps - just chat to people and you make friends and then sometimes more. I met my OH in the chat room 6 years ago, we got engaged in August and marry next year. In a couple of weeks we're going to our 2nd chat room wedding, and we have several other friends who have all got paired off with fellow chatters.
The nice thing with chat is you can get to know people gradually within a 'crowd' and as you find your convos have stuff in common, you chat to them more and then...well fingers crossed Good luck

DigitalJedi

Looking forward to seeing what you post as your profile.

BTW, dating sites are useful but don't make it the only way you meet women. Grab a mate and do some other stuff too like Speeddating or join spice or citysocialising. Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

The key thing is self confidence. Women like a man who has self confidence. Also, don't come across as too keen. Women often will misinterpret that for neediness or potential stalker. That's often why its ironically easier to pull whilst you have one or more GF's on the go. Google cat string theory.

richardvc

talulahbeige wrote: »

above all i would say dont be paranoid if people dont respond, its not personal,

Sorry, I must take issue here - surely it is about as personal as you can get ?

loveangel88

plenty of fish is good...met my partner on there, we have been together for a year and half now, and engaged and its ALL totally free, no fees, which is good, no cons.

richardvc

Good thread.

MEF, keep us up to date on your progress and good luck on your search. You come across as a decent fella, honest and candid - all positives.

Lots of my friends have used dating websites and have had some success so hang in there.

Running_Horse

Met my wife on faceparty in 2006, but only after a lot of time wasters and no replies.

Once you have a short introductory message worked out, keep it in a word file to copy and paste, not just to those who seem the perfect match but use a scattergun approach. Funnily enough, she contacted me first and was outside the geographic area I was targetting.

Most sites require persistence and dedication, but you only need one success.

Person_one

Running_Horse wrote: »

Met my wife on faceparty in 2006, but only after a lot of time wasters and no replies.

Once you have a short introductory message worked out, keep it in a word file to copy and paste, not just to those who seem the perfect match but use a scattergun approach. Funnily enough, she contacted me first and was outside the geographic area I was targetting.

Most sites require persistence and dedication, but you only need one success.

Really really don't do this! Its fairly easy to spot a cut and paste job and it gives away that you aren't really interested in me as a person, just casting a wide net. Its not especially flattering to get the same standard message as 100 other women!

I'd say its no coincidence that your wife was not one of the women you 'targeted' in this way!

talulahbeige_2

richardvc wrote: »

Sorry, I must take issue here - surely it is about as personal as you can get ?

Why?
They don't know you, all they are doing is judging you from a couple of photos and a few lines of text. You might not look anything like the photo you use.

millym

Yeah, forget the copy and paste message - make it personal to the woman you're messaging, and like someone else said, don't narrow your search too much either in terms of geography or age/looks/anything like that.

Chat rooms sound to me like a better option than sitting waiting for replies, though I've never used them.

You could also try joining a wide variety of forums related to just about anything you're interested in - music, gaming whatever. I met my husband this way, and know quite a few people who have met due to being fans of the same musician. You quite often find that you meet someone in the places that you least expect. We didn't even live in the same country as each other when we 'met'...

If you are a long-standing member of any forums, you could try asking on there for advice about dating (there's usually a section where you can talk about anything). One bloke did this on a forum I belong to, and got loads of messages from female forum members saying they had pm'ed him. Last I heard, he was going to meet one of them...