Internet Dating Discussion

Souk08

Going to join your mum and tell you to look for some new friends! X

CAPMguy

one advice .... dont do it ... internet dating is not a good idea ... but hey thats just my opinion!

Brighton_belle

Ladyhawk wrote: »

Yes- but you could waste a lot of time and a lot of money on someone that you thought was nice but you don't have chemistry with. I do sometimes go on second dates just to be sure... but I always feel as if I am leading them on somehow?

Good point LH: ultimately you are the best judge of what feels right for you.
Hopefully IVC and spice might help with the news friends bit.
I actually moved town 10yrs ago to put myself in a better, more vibrant place to meet new friends to get away from the 2.4 children crowd (in the nicest possible sense) where I was the odd one out with differnt, unmet social needs. Worked a treat.

DigitalJedi

Hi LadyHawk

I read this and just thought I would give you my opinion as someone who used to use dating sites a fair bit and had a few friends too who also used them.

Firstly let me say that men are visual creatures. What you say matters less than what you look like. If you are a size 8 and gorgeous, you could put that you are a convicted axe murderer and you would still get men messaging you. Don't believe me? Try it!

Secondly I'm not sure what site you are on but forget the free ones. They are overrun by players, perv's and chancers. The old adage "You get what you pay for" holds true for dating sites. You'll still get those types on paid for sites but its less prevalent. Its hard for a player to pay for 3-4 sites at £20 per month each. Its also difficult to explain to the GF why you have match.com appearing on your bank statement.

Next, most men on dating sites soon learn that a heartfelt, personal message is a waste of time. At the beginning I spent ages writing each lady a personal message. 99/100 you don't get a reply. So after a while you switch tactics and message 150 women. Machine gun tactics dictate you'll get a couple of replies! So again, no need to overthink your profile blurb. Chances are he won't have read it!

It makes us men sound like shallow creatures only after one thing but we're not. I could go on about the intricacies i noticed over the last couple of years but I have to go out now.

Good luck.

eve_1979

I too am single and recently turned 30, and have tried internet dating a few times. I normally find that i get a really good vibe when talking to them over email, but when i met them they are nothing like their messages; but i suppose u can write anything over a message. Either that or they have very flattering photos online, eg their best side, but when meeting them they look completely different! But agree with u in that i look for chemistry, if its not there, theres no point in carrying on.

euripidesralph

Hi
hope you dont mind me posting as I dont often, but this is close to me as I met my oh on a dating site 2 and a half years ago and we got married last december.

There are lots of people who dont like internet daating and i can understand their concerns but for me it worked.

But just from my experience there were lots oof frogs before my prince, trust your first instinct when you read the other persons profile, you will probably be right, and honestly dont 'spin' your profile at all, its soul destroying when someone you like has the wrong image of you in their head, be yourself - martial arts and all, if they dont like it then would wou want to be in touch with them anyway?

I know it doesnt work for all, and your experiences may be different to mine, but like you i was happy being single and independant but I am just as if nbot more happy not because i have a husband but beccause I have my perfect (for me!) husband, if tthat makes any sense.

good luck

xxx

Skint_Catt

Keep at the internet dating lark! After many frogs I found my prince and we're marrying in less than 5 months time :eek:

(oops - wrote the frogs & prince thing before I saw the above post - wasn't copying honest Miss!)

Ladyhawk

Thanks Skint_Catt, Euripidesralph, Digital Jedi, Eve and Belle for your encouragement. I'll continue to plod along and see who somes along. I will also go to the next Spice meeting in my area and the introductory meeting to IVC. Who knows... Mr Right might be there, if not I might just have an excuse to have some fun with some new friends.

euripidesralph

Skint_Catt wrote: »

Keep at the internet dating lark! After many frogs I found my prince and we're marrying in less than 5 months time :eek:

(oops - wrote the frogs & prince thing before I saw the above post - wasn't copying honest Miss!)

soo nice to hear another it worked out for - I got lots of teasing from friends but bizzarely its fizzled out since we got narried

loads of congratulations - hope your day is amazing

xx

charlea

i taken some libertys here as i do have a few brothers but if i was going to write a long intro it would be along the line of this

My friends would describe me as an
independent , fun loving professional women with a strange sense of humour. My brothers would just say that im strange but they have
known me for a long time so dont let that put you off getting in touch


So i expect you want to what my good points are Ok - I cant cook Im crap at diy and cant play scrabble or trivual pursuit and i love desperate housewives and i can totally understand a mans need for space and time out with his mates as this is what enjoy as well i have a degree and a professional job in the city and i can Ski (ok i fall down a lot ) But its my favorite way to spend a holiday AND i dont have lots of cats and stuffed teddy bears in my bedroom either

(some men would consider this to be good points in a women I hope you do)


My bad points - I like takeaway food good wine and socialising (far to much) and i spend far to much time on ebay buying and i love buying high heeled shoes

Coming from a large close family with several brothers I grew up to be a very competitive sorty and independent type of girl (well as a man im sure you know how horrible you men can be to annoying little sisters who want to tag along on dates )
However it dose mean that years of sitting with my brothers in the freezing cold I can understand the rules of football & Rugby and dont ask annoying questions such as , whos winning, Oh he's married to Colleen, and the dreaded One what every guy dreads What dose the offside rule mean
　( and that only cos you dont know the anwser)


So what am i looking for in a man - Well first of all he has to be breathing and his own teeth, own hair or no hair is fine, but no toupees please and not to be old enough that my mother would find him attractive but not that young that people think that he is my son or i have to buy the beer cos he gets asked for id

I always think i want a new type man - you know the sort of guy that brings roses and can cook and be nice to little old ladies and kittens but what i really i want is a strong tall and independent guy and Alpha Male
a man who can open the door for me, who knows how to put a shelf up ( cos mine are crooked ) and wont spend more time in the bathroom than me and this is the ultimate YES can put together an Ikea flat pack within 10mins ( i supply the beer) but most importantly someone who is fun to be with and enjoys the best of what life has to offer

So if you think you could spend some time with a tall attractive female who cant cook or play scrabble , but is independent fun loving and has no probs with you watching the football in peace with the remote control and a pack of six pack of beer uniterupted with your mates and understands a man need for space then give me a call