Been looking at husbands internet history..

Lotus-eater

VestanPance wrote: »

Wipe your cookies and check your pop-up exceptions list.

Didn't do anything. Adblock plus and No Script seem to have it sorted. But I haven't extensively tested everything.

Lotus-eater

daisiegg wrote: »

Ditto...they must find some way to get around it. Those wily, naked people.

:rotfl:


Or weally willy naked people

I know it doesn't sound the same........

Shovel_Lad

whatshouldido wrote: »

btw a lot of people have expressed that snooping on your partners internet history and emails etc is no go, but if you have nothing to hide, would you really feel that your partner looking at your history as an invasion of privacy? i know wouldnt mind if hed been looking at my emails or history or texts as my life is an open book to him..

whatshouldido wrote: »

Im almost feel like installing some spyware software on his laptop just to see! We are TTC as well, so its thrown up a lot of questions, maybe we should put that off until I am more sure about whats going on in his head (and his computer!)

Without speaking with him, how do you know he is "hiding" it? I regularly clear my browser cache on my laptop. Is it because I have masses of !!!!!! I'm ashamed of? No. I bank online. It is much easier for me just to clear my caches to give me some small measure of protection should my laptop be stolen, than it is to either purge random sites or remember to use in-private browsing etc. Yet you seem to think the fact that anyone's browsing history is empty is evidence of misbehaviour on their part. Maybe it is, but without talking abouot it, how do you know?

Seems to me that it is you that has a lot to hide. Rather than ask him about it, you want to install secret surveillance software on his computer - is that really the actions of a caring partner? Sounds more like evidence gathering for divorce proceedings to me. Feeling the urge to do this does not bode well for the life of a year old marriage. Paranoia is one of the least attractive attributes a partner can have.

Mojisola

Lotus-eater wrote: »

it sounds like your Oh tried to do the same when he told you to keep it interesting.

That sounds like a prostitute's job description!

It's up to both people to "keep it interesting" for each other, to learn what the other likes and try to fulfil each other's needs. It's also important to realise that there are some things your partner might not like!

Lotus-eater

Mojisola wrote: »

That sounds like a prostitute's job description!

It's up to both people to "keep it interesting" for each other, to learn what the other likes and try to fulfil each other's needs. It's also important to realise that there are some things your partner might not like!

Well of course it's both peoples job, I was explaining that he may have been trying to say something else.
And I suspect she already knows what she does and doesn't like, but she hasn't complained about anything like that.

In my relationship it's mainly me that finds new interesting things to do. My OH always complains she can't keep up with me and my mind is so much more devious than hers

BitterAndTwisted

WhatshouldIdo: I hope you don't mind but I've been back to your previous posts to try and glean what's really going on here. I don't think it's all about the !!!!!! per se. Well, it is for you but there's other stuff going on for him, and this is what I think you might need to ha a wee ponder over.

You've admitted that communication between the two of you isn't good but I'm not sure whether that's just about private stiff or it's elsewhere in your lives as well. He admitted in the past that viewing !!!!!! stops him cheating. I think this is one time that he's actually been as honest with you as he knows how.

You mentioned that you have initiated sex in the past but he had this "thing" about you doing so, but did not say whether he didn't enjoy you doing so or that he did. I'm assuming that he did not. Can you see a possbile connection between you initiating sex with him and he being in control of he ladies on-onscreen and therefore being in absolute charge of what they are doing for him?

He told you that he needs you to keep things interesting but I'm assuming that he didn't indicate explicitly where these interest lay. That's also him being honest but not able to articulate it in a way that you can understand. I think he's telling you that there's something he needs from you but isn't able to tell you directly yet. This conflicts with his need for control over the internet ladies, so perhaps he needs to keep them completely separate from what you do together because he knows they're not nice loveable ladies and you are. I dunno.

The one thing he appears to have said directly and explicitly is about the hot pants and you haven't bought them yet. Please do that today.

And then maybe have a nice, calm chat about his secret life and why he feels like that part of him needs to kept secret from you. But it doesn't have to be if he can be honest and share it with you. That you are listening and may want to take part.

If I've got completely the wrong end of the stick here, I apologise

Wickedkitten

gingin wrote: »

It doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship.

When I am angry with my husband I don't bother to do his washing, or make a dinner that I know I like more than him, or insist he watches trash tv rather than Top gear - but it's never occurred to me to check his browsing history and if I did I am certain that I would find !!!!!!. It doesn't bother me and I'm sure that he doesn't cheat ( he works away during some of the week, so trust is required ).

Being passive aggressive rather than telling him that you are mad at him doesn't sound much healthier

euronorris

Carl31 wrote: »

ive never done it, but i certainly wouldn't view it as cheating

If your OH indulged in cyber sex with a male friend, would you consider it cheating then?

Watching a staged, pre-recorded !!!!!! film is fine IMO. It's just images, and there's no interaction.

As soon as there is interaction, however, then it is cheating IMO.

Mojisola

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

You mentioned that you have initiated sex in the past but he had this "thing" about you doing so, but did not say whether he didn't enjoy you doing so or that he did. I'm assuming that he did not. Can you see a possbile connection between you initiating sex with him and he being in control of he ladies on-onscreen and therefore being in absolute charge of what they are doing for him?

If I've got completely the wrong end of the stick here, I apologise

I thought they only have sex when she initiates it. If she doesn't, nothing happens.

make_me_wise

whatshouldido wrote: »

We've been married about a year,

I would confront him about this but we are going through a slightly rough patch, our marriage has always been hard, but its been getting better and I don't want to ruin it by throwing this into the mix

What I have highlighted above alarmed me a bit. Just a year into your marriage should be when you are at the most happiest and relaxed, just enjoying being with each other.

I dont think !!!!!! in itself is a big deal. The other stuff you describe him doing indicates to me that things are not right between you. Reading between the lines I get the impression that the problems run deeper than your sex life.

Talk to him. He is the only one who can give you his side and then you will know where you stand and can decide what you want.