We're aware that some users are experiencing technical issues which the team are working to resolve. See the Community Noticeboard for more info. Thank you for your patience.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!

Been looking at husbands internet history..

Options
1235714

Comments

  • daisiegg
    daisiegg Posts: 5,395 Forumite
    I think you need to talk to him about this and find out the full story. Not saying I'm someone who frequents !!!!!! sites regularly or anything, but on a normal video !!!!!! site often those chat things will pop up - even if you just close the window straight away, it will then be in the history. I don't know what exactly you saw on his internet history, but to give the man the benefit of the doubt, could it be that he was just viewing videos and these other sites are just pop-ups, as in he didn't actually look at them or go on them?

    I have no problem with OH viewing !!!!!! (not that he ever gets a chance to - never gets a second to himself, poor man, unless he's doing it on the train on the way to work..!) but I WOULD have a problem with the interactive stuff if he was doing it behind my back. It would be the fact that he felt he needed to conceal it that would worry me...him telling some Eastern European bimbo to get her t*ts out on camera I'd find more comical than upsetting, but if he were hiding it then I would REALLY freak out.

    If you can do it honestly, can you make it clear to him that you are fine with him watching non-interactive !!!!!!? could you even introduce it as part of your sex life - you say you used to view it together before marriage, why not anymore? Or you could put on your sexy voice and ask him to describe one of the videos he has watched...and use that to iniatiate 'relations' between you? Obviously not knowing the two of you I've no idea if that would be feasible/work/or if it's just a ridiculous suggestion! Once he realises you are comfortable with him watching !!!!!! - and maybe even are open to watching it with him occasionally - you can then make it really clear that you are NOT comfortable with the interactive stuff, or with him hiding things from you.

    Also as someone else says, it's not just the !!!!!! issue, is it...you obviously need to have a very open discussion about your sex life as a whole. I think it's a bit harsh that he asked you to 'keep it interesting' - what about him also keeping it interesting for you?! he needs to realise it's a two-way street. Hopefully if you love each other enough to be married to each other you'll be able to get through this and find something that works for both of you. Good luck!
  • fannyanna
    fannyanna Posts: 2,622 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    :doh:

    Found a "doh!" smilie
  • Sorry, haven't read through all threads, so this may have already been mentioned -

    What you have found from snooping is that your husband visited these websites, it doesn't show what he has done on them. He may have just clicked on a link in a 'regular' !!!!!! site out of curiosity.
  • Errata
    Errata Posts: 38,230 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    fannyanna wrote: »
    Seriously MSE you need a rolls eyes smilie. For now "doh!" will have to suffice.

    I'd still defend men watching !!!!!! but what a stupid thing for him to have told you.
    Not stupid at all, just vicious.
    .................:)....I'm smiling because I have no idea what's going on ...:)
  • daisiegg
    daisiegg Posts: 5,395 Forumite
    Sorry, haven't read through all threads, so this may have already been mentioned -

    What you have found from snooping is that your husband visited these websites, it doesn't show what he has done on them. He may have just clicked on a link in a 'regular' !!!!!! site out of curiosity.

    Lol that was one of my points but you have made it much more succinctly!
  • I just had another look at the sites hes been browsing, and the latest was an online dating site for naughty singles. Its easy enough to say stop looking at his history, well then I suppose we should all just sit in ignorance of what our other halves get up to - as long as they are hiding it well..

    Im sure he was just looking at it now, out of curiosity but isnt it just a matter of time before he initiates contact with someone? Do blokes just randomly browse 'naughty' dating sites or is it a sign that hes about to start taking it further?
  • daisiegg
    daisiegg Posts: 5,395 Forumite
    I just had another look at the sites hes been browsing, and the latest was an online dating site for naughty singles. Its easy enough to say stop looking at his history, well then I suppose we should all just sit in ignorance of what our other halves get up to - as long as they are hiding it well..

    Im sure he was just looking at it now, out of curiosity but isnt it just a matter of time before he initiates contact with someone? Do blokes just randomly browse 'naughty' dating sites or is it a sign that hes about to start taking it further?

    That would worry me a little bit...... although that said, I am madly crazily in love with my OH and dread the possibility that we may ever break up, but once after we'd been together for a year and a half I actually went back on the website we'd met each other through, just to see what else was out there now. I had no interest in contacting anyone remotely...it was more just curiosity at what I'd be dealing with if I hadn't met OH and was still single...there was absolutely nothing more to it than that and it didn't give me the slightest desire to contact anyone. I was just bored and had read every single thread on MSE! Oh also, sometimes OH and I fill in the dating profiles when dating sites have 'free weekend offers' etc just to laugh at the type of people it matches us up with. I do tend to get slightly insecure when it matches him with loads of hot sexy blondes and matches me with fat 50 yr olds...but never mind!
  • daisiegg
    daisiegg Posts: 5,395 Forumite
    I just had another look at the sites hes been browsing, and the latest was an online dating site for naughty singles. Its easy enough to say stop looking at his history, well then I suppose we should all just sit in ignorance of what our other halves get up to - as long as they are hiding it well..

    Im sure he was just looking at it now, out of curiosity but isnt it just a matter of time before he initiates contact with someone? Do blokes just randomly browse 'naughty' dating sites or is it a sign that hes about to start taking it further?

    Also - I know it's easy enough to say but I'll still say it STOP LOOKING!! wait until you have talked to him. Seriously, you are just torturing yourself :(
  • Lotus-eater
    Lotus-eater Posts: 10,789 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    I just had another look at the sites hes been browsing, and the latest was an online dating site for naughty singles. Its easy enough to say stop looking at his history, well then I suppose we should all just sit in ignorance of what our other halves get up to - as long as they are hiding it well..

    Im sure he was just looking at it now, out of curiosity but isnt it just a matter of time before he initiates contact with someone? Do blokes just randomly browse 'naughty' dating sites or is it a sign that hes about to start taking it further?
    Who knows and unless you talk to him you will never find out.

    And yes blokes do randomly browse any sort of sire which may give up a few pics or text they want to see.
    And have you read about the popups?
    Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.
  • pearl123
    pearl123 Posts: 2,082 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    OP - i'd be tempted if I were you to leave a page open on the pc with a man in all his ...'cough'. See how he likes it.
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

🚀 Getting Started

Hi new member!

Our Getting Started Guide will help you get the most out of the Forum

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 350.9K Banking & Borrowing
  • 253.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 453.5K Spending & Discounts
  • 243.9K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 598.8K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 176.9K Life & Family
  • 257.2K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 16.1K Discuss & Feedback
  • 37.6K Read-Only Boards

Is this how you want to be seen?

We see you are using a default avatar. It takes only a few seconds to pick a picture.