Been looking at husbands internet history..

Errata

whatshouldido wrote: »

Carl - he said to me that it stops him from cheating (which I think was a horrid thing to say) but I do wonder if thats true.

..

What ???? So it's all your fault !!!!
He can't control himself???? But he's very good at controlling women on the net and telling them what to do ????
He won't have sex with you unless you initiate it?

Lady - you have a big problem, and it's your OH's extremely unhealthy attitude towards women and sex.

whatshouldido

Errata wrote: »

What ???? So it's all your fault !!!!
He can't control himself???? But he's very good at controlling women on the net and telling them what to do ????
He won't have sex with you unless you initiate it?

Lady - you have a big problem, and it's your OH's extremely unhealthy attitude towards women and sex.

Yeah I know, we do have a huge problem with our sex lives, maybe thats whats fuelling this..we both have good sex drives but our styles are so different

My OH gets bored with sex and asked me before we got married to keep our sex life interesting. Unfortunately the usual doesnt always turn him on, like roleplay, sex games etc..

Lotus eater, I don't know, I think sex chat with another person, whether paid or not, is pretty much violating the marriage vow. I guess Im less worried that it could turn into a real encounter having seen these sites, but I still think he should limit it to normal !!!!!! and keep it at that..

thejames

mgdavid wrote: »

'cos blokes are very simple and trusting animals and don't go snooping in browser history.

Not true I've caught my husband checking mine, his ex cheated and he had some insecurities but I got him over that. What men can do women can do vies versa there's nothing wrong with certain !!!!!! I think the problem is when there's not enough trust to be honest with your partner, it's the lies that's the problem not the !!!!!!.

I'd be very uncomfortable with my husband speaking with another woman in any respect of a sexual nature, it's not on and should be dealt with in a calm but with a strong words of disappointment and an absolute no go area.

Lotus-eater

whatshouldido wrote: »

Yeah I know, we do have a huge problem with our sex lives, maybe thats whats fuelling this..we both have good sex drives but our styles are so different

My OH gets bored with sex and asked me before we got married to keep our sex life interesting. Unfortunately the usual doesnt always turn him on, like roleplay, sex games etc..

Lotus eater, I don't know, I think sex chat with another person, whether paid or not, is pretty much violating the marriage vow. I guess Im less worried that it could turn into a real encounter having seen these sites, but I still think he should limit it to normal !!!!!! and keep it at that..

What does turn him on then?
You must have known what turned him on before you got married.

My opinion is only that, mine, you may think whatever you like.

It sounds like you need a good talk to me, you telling him your needs aren't being met and telling him that !!!!!! is fine, viewing films or pictures, but you don't want him contacting real people.
And just chat about the sex you aren't having, if he wants you to initiate it, then do it sometimes and let it be known that you want him to do the same.

Whatever sex people in a marriage like, there has to be some give and take on both sides. He can't expect you to do what he likes all the time and vice versa.

thejames

Peater wrote: »

Ok, as a virile young chap, i do 'from time to time' frequent such sites. However, these 'chat' things pop-up on most free !!!!!! sites nowadays (more of an annoyance to me). So it's unlikely that he has intentionally searched out such an avenue to start with, but perhaps he has clicked on one of them and discovered that texting some random desperate for cash skank in America to show him her bits and bobbins is what he likes. It could become mildly addictive i imagine, but i dont see that it would be a gateway for him to cheat on you.

As it is bothering you, i would mention it. But perhaps word it as 'Oh, by the way, you might want to think about clearing your internet history from time to time matey. I'm onto you!'. Get him worried!

Just remember - !!!!!! is !!!!!! and sex is sex. Please don't feel betrayed, it's just like draining a cyst. It needs to be done for our own well-being aswell as those around us.

Haha found this v amusing! Women view sex so differently, for woman it needs to be our most intimate moment (quite rightly too and men need to remember that) but for men it's not it's and urge that is unlike ours (and on the same token we also need to remember this).

Lotus-eater

I've never ever checked my wife's internet history tbh, I might do if I was worried about how much she was spending.

I think it's just down to trust, I know she's never checked mine either, she knows I look at !!!!!! sometimes, I know she looks at things on the net to get ideas for our sex life, I don't think she masturbates to it though, I think this is probably a male thing.

whatshouldido

btw a lot of people have expressed that snooping on your partners internet history and emails etc is no go, but if you have nothing to hide, would you really feel that your partner looking at your history as an invasion of privacy? i know wouldnt mind if hed been looking at my emails or history or texts as my life is an open book to him..

kaya

Sit him down when you are in a calm mood and show him how to use the "in-private " view on internet explorer, stop looking for things you clearly dont want to know the answer too and enjoy your marriage !

Errata

whatshouldido wrote: »

Yeah I know, we do have a huge problem with our sex lives, maybe thats whats fuelling this..we both have good sex drives but our styles are so different

My OH gets bored with sex and asked me before we got married to keep our sex life interesting. Unfortunately the usual doesnt always turn him on, like roleplay, sex games etc..

..

So what role does love play in all this ? He's bored with sex? Nope, he's bored with you and not inclined to make any positive effort about it.

fannyanna

whatshouldido wrote: »

Carl - he said to me that it stops him from cheating (which I think was a horrid thing to say) but I do wonder if thats true.

Seriously MSE you need a rolls eyes smilie. For now "doh!" will have to suffice.

I'd still defend men watching !!!!!! but what a stupid thing for him to have told you.