Been looking at husbands internet history..

whatshouldido

And found a few things which have got me worried. I know its not right to go snooping but I was angry with him and in a fit of anger checked his laptop when he left for work.

We've been married about a year, about 6 months ago I was using his laptop, and having accidently closed a window I was using I went to the history to find it. I found that he'd been looking at !!!!!! videos. I was upset but thought maybe it wasn't a huge deal. I tried not to make a thing about it but the next time we had an argument I mentioned it and told him it was akin to cheating, esp as the !!!!!! viewing was happening at a time when we weren't having as much sex as usual..

So today I checked his history and found that he's been using sex chat videos, you know the ones where you type stuff in and the woman does what you ask. I also found online sex dating sites - now I dont think hes been doing anything in person as we are together most of the time, and I know what hes doing the rest of the time, but I think maybe hes been chatting with other people looking for video sex..im not sure if they're 'real' people or people who work for these websites, not sure if it makes a difference..

Its happened infrequently (I got a really good look at his cookie history, as he clears his history sometimes), but its got me wondering, why would he do that kind of stuff and is it a form a cheating?

I would confront him about this but we are going through a slightly rough patch, our marriage has always been hard, but its been getting better and I don't want to ruin it by throwing this into the mix

What should I do?? Demand he stops (it didnt seem like my discovering it last time has stopped him, if anything, hes started on the chat thing), or just accept it as a thing happily married men do?

Would appreciate some mens views on this - do most men do this sort of thing? Is it a comment on the relationship or would men do it regardless of what state the marriage/sex life is in??

quietheart

You need to talk to him. You know what he's doing and it's not going to go away, it's upset you and he should know that. Just try and stay calm and let him know how it's made you feel. I wouldn't be concerned about the !!!!!! particularly, more unhappy about the interactive stuff. It's not cheating but it is making you unhappy/insecure so it's not right.
Do feel for you but not talking to him is just going to build resentment and it'll come out in a row or something eventually.
Good luck.

thunderbird

Men looking at !!!!!! on the internet? Never!

If you are seriously concerned, speak to him about it.

Mojisola

Not a man but here's my take on it - some men do enjoy this kind of stuff and it never goes any further, it's just a technological version of the old lad's mags.

If a man is in a relationship and his partner is very uncomfortable with his use of !!!!!! sites then it needs discussing and a solution found that both can live with - if it comes to the relationship or !!!!!! and he chooses !!!!!!, there are obviously problems with the relationship.

pimento

Stop checking his history.

Seriously, show me a man who doesn't use his PC to find !!!!!! and I'll show you a liar.

sassyblue

I have to agree with the men and !!!!!! thing, my hubby's looked at it and we don't have any problems, it's a 'man thing' for want of a better word, and can be no more serious for some men than their other traits like leaving their dirty chudders on the floor next to the washing basket. *sigh*

Does it cost anything for him to do video sex though??

Carl31

Why you worried about it?

whats he doing wrong exactly that you don't like? Do you think now hes married he should only look at you?

Men look at women, would you rather he looked at men?

You might actually find hes more sexually active with you around the times hes looking at !!!!!!

claire16c

I wouldnt really care that much if DH had looked at !!!!!! pictures or something. Although he doesnt (i think the novelty wore off when he finally worked out how to actually operate a computer and internet a few years back and got himself into trouble because he somehow managed to sign up to some website where you had to pay to see the pictures, but the silly idiot didnt realise they would continue to take that money out your bank every month and being useless on the computer didnt know how to cancel it. So he had to ask me :rotfl:

I was like do you know how much free !!!!!! there is, why the hell are you paying for it! :rotfl: I was more angry about the money than anything else.

BUT if he had been online messaging people and asking them to do stuff in videos I would have gone mad. That is very different to looking at a picture and I would not be happy at all.

I guess its all depends on what you are happy with. So for me I dont care if someone looked at some pictures a couple of times. But i would not accept a husband talking sexually to other people on the internet. Yes I would consider that cheating.

adelight

I wouldn't be worried about the !!!!!! at all, especially as it wasn't tonnes and it was when you weren't having sex much. Just because you're not having sex doesn't mean he doesn't need some "relief" and better !!!!!! than another woman! I can understand being concerned about the vids/dating sites though and I personally would probably bring them up(in a calm chat!). Did you notice he'd been on the sites because it showed up when you were typing an address in or did you deliberately go checking up on him?

Are you still not having sex much? Or even less than when found out he'd been looking for !!!!!!?

gingin_2

It doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship.

When I am angry with my husband I don't bother to do his washing, or make a dinner that I know I like more than him, or insist he watches trash tv rather than Top gear - but it's never occurred to me to check his browsing history and if I did I am certain that I would find !!!!!!. It doesn't bother me and I'm sure that he doesn't cheat ( he works away during some of the week, so trust is required ).

Sambucus_Nigra

pimento wrote: »

Stop checking his history.

Seriously, show me a man who doesn't use his PC to find !!!!!! and I'll show you [STRIKE]a liar[/STRIKE] someone with a broken internet connection.

Corrected...

Men do this. So do some women. It's what happens.