Been looking at husbands internet history..

hr9hr9

Hi

I don't want to discuss my personal dealings of this really on an open forum, however I have found that this is something a large percentage of men get up to. It may not be what women want to hear but it is true.

You need to be aware that this kind of behaviour can be addictive and if it is so secretive and happening often then perhaps you need to have a word.

However, you need to tread carefully as you could make your OH feel a bit perverted and these things are natural for blokes as they think about sex and sexual activies a lot more than women do. Also age is a factor as men can grow out of these things like any other hobby/interest!

If you feel it has reached addiction phase then action is needed as it may become even worse.

Perhaps you should think about whether to spice things up a little if you can, to lure him away from the computer.

HTH

fannyanna

I must confess I don't really understand why people get worked up about men viewing !!!!!!. There are also women out there that enjoy viewing !!!!!! but it doesn't seem to get complained about like it does when men view !!!!!!.

To be honest I think it's quite natural for a man to have an interest in sex and it's not unnatural for them to want to watch a bit of !!!!!!. It doesn't mean that they want to leave their partner. Should women stop reading mills and boon books?

My husband doesn't actively watch !!!!!! although I know that he has on occassions. I'm absolutely fine with it and in fact find it a little bit odd that he doesn't do it more often. It's all a harmless fantasy. He can't cheat on me by getting his rocks off watching people on the internet.

Carl31

hr9hr9 wrote: »

Hi

If you feel it has reached addiction phase then action is needed as it may become even worse.

lol

look at a few !!!!!! pages - Hes an addict!!!

better throw the beers out the fridge, he might be an alcoholic too

whatshouldido

Yeah the !!!!!! thing was just about the initial shock though ironically we looked at !!!!!! together before we were married and I knew that he looked at !!!!!! before, we talked about it openly.

I guess the first time I was more upset cos he was viewing !!!!!! to get off when we hadn't been having sex for a few days and I was THERE - if you know what I mean..

I don't mind him looking at !!!!!! now, thinking about it, and maybe I should make that clear to him so hes not snooping around it.

But I do mind him interacting with other women on the net - whether they are 'real' people or women paid to do this. Its free sex chat so not paid for..

And also, once people get bored with cybersex, what do they turn to next?

But I just want to get a better understanding of mens !!!!!! habit - do most men eventually turn to cyberchatting/interaction stuff or can they be satisfied with normal !!!!!!? Honestly, this sounds a bit lame, but if I thought most men eventually end up doing this kind of thing, it would make me feel better, and not like I married an eventual sex fiend..

I think I will have to have a chat with him at some point, but I do worry, what if continues doing it but hides it better so that I never find out..? Why do men have to push the limits like this when it comes to sex?? You'll never find a man posting on here with this kind of problem with their wife!!

whatshouldido

adelight wrote: »

I wouldn't be worried about the !!!!!! at all, especially as it wasn't tonnes and it was when you weren't having sex much. Just because you're not having sex doesn't mean he doesn't need some "relief" and better !!!!!! than another woman! I can understand being concerned about the vids/dating sites though and I personally would probably bring them up(in a calm chat!). Did you notice he'd been on the sites because it showed up when you were typing an address in or did you deliberately go checking up on him?

Are you still not having sex much? Or even less than when found out he'd been looking for !!!!!!?

Adelight, Im ashamed to say I did check his history (or his cookies cos hes deleted his history cos hed been on this upforit. com website - Im still not sure what goes on in that website).

We havent had sex for almost 2 weeks - our sex life isnt the best, basically since we got married. It was great before that..at the mo, we have sex about twice a week, which for both of us is really not enough

He has a very high sex drive and could have sex every night, and I could too, but he has this thing about me initiating all the time, and I get fed up with that, and we end up with a 2 week dry period if I leave him to his devices..

I'll be the first to admit, our relationship isnt the healthiest in terms of communication about issues, but we love each other to bits and had to fight a lot of issues to be together..we're still not there in terms of communication but im trying to get there slowly

stayingupright

Carl31 wrote: »

Why you worried about it?

whats he doing wrong exactly that you don't like? Do you think now hes married he should only look at you?

Men look at women, would you rather he looked at men?

You might actually find hes more sexually active with you around the times hes looking at !!!!!!

I don't think there's anything wrong with !!!!!!.

But maybe I misunderstand you Carl, surely you don't think it's right, if he's actually interacting with a real woman, and she's doing as he asks, even if through a screen? Surely that IS cheating - as you're actually involved, whereas with !!!!!! you're just a voyeur?

Surely it's NOT acceptable for men to use video chat lines?

stayingupright

The OP has stated that she's not upset by the !!!!!!, and I think most women accept their man watches it, I'm a woman and I enjoy it too.

But I think the cybersex (which is what video chat sex is), is CHEATING, he's crossed a boundary, and has actively interacted with another woman sexually, even if there is a screen between them.

whatshouldido

Open question to men: what are your views on cybersex - do you view it as just an extension of !!!!!!, or does it mean you are wanting to relate to/reach out to another real person sexually, someone who isnt your wife/GF.. could it lead to meeting up with some of these women or does it never go beyond the online sites?

victory

I don't think !!!!!! has to lead to cyber sex, paying for it, visiting prostitutes etc, !!!!!! is to get it started , once it is the man goes with the woman he has in the house, it is just a release does not have to be all out moving up the ladder , just because you like sex does not mean you have to like being whipped?

mgdavid

whatshouldido wrote: »

...... You'll never find a man posting on here with this kind of problem with their wife!!

'cos blokes are very simple and trusting animals and don't go snooping in browser history.