Been looking at husbands internet history..

daisiegg

OP...did you have the chat? how did it go?

CrazyRed

whatshouldido wrote: »

Open question to men: what are your views on cybersex - do you view it as just an extension of !!!!!!, or does it mean you are wanting to relate to/reach out to another real person sexually, someone who isnt your wife/GF.. could it lead to meeting up with some of these women or does it never go beyond the online sites?

{Sticks head up over parapet cautiously}

My view on cybersex is that it is cheating. You are then going from !!!!!! (which is, as others have said, relatively harmless and non-engaging) to actually talking to/engaging with another female and getting her to "perform" for you.

To me, that's unacceptable if you're in a committed relationship. A bit of !!!!!! is, dare I say it, "normal" for a bloke (sometimes it's easier and quicker "relief" using !!!!!!......) but cybersex as described by the OP is a step too far.

CrazyRed

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Yup. Just tried it and sure enough, I''ve now got three sex related records in my history...

Bondage, BDSM, Sex Fetish & Alternative Dating

Adult Friend Finder | Adult Personals, Swingers & Free Sex Chat

Adult Friend Finder | Adult Personals, Swingers & Free Sex Chat

Based on my own experiences with different !!!!!! sites, these two sites are very regular "pop ups" on some !!!!!! sites and, if you click on a picture in the !!!!!! site to view it in larger resolution (purely in the interests of research, you understand :rotfl:) these blasted sites have a habit of opening a "sub window" BEHIND your currently-open browser window. Your hubs may not have noticed these until he'd closed his main browsing session, then spotted one of these little devils lurking behind. This will have left a "footprint" in the internet history.

If they're the two that are showing up, then this isn't "cybersex" - as I said, these sites regularly open massive pop up windows in a separate browsing window whilst you're viewing something else and they can be a pain.

Gloomendoom

I wonder how many needless rows and ended relationships those pop ups have contributed to?

It all goes to show that records of dodgy sites in a browsing history are not conclusive proof of cheating or even any intention to cheat.

whatshouldido

Gloomendoom wrote: »

I wonder how many needless rows and ended relationships those pop ups have contributed to?

It all goes to show that records of dodgy sites in a browsing history are not conclusive proof of cheating or even any intention to cheat.

Gloomendoom, I'm pretty sure my OH has been actively viewing the cam sex sites, as the caches shows a snapshot of videos being loaded, and theres often a succession of cam type websites at a time. Although the benaughty sex dating may be a pop-up -hopefully!!- and not one that hes tried using..

I did have a chat with him about initiating, and I told him I needed to feel desired too - he responded with the same and we're both going to make more of an effort not to let there be dry periods like there have been til now..

I also mentioned the !!!!!! thing, although I couldnt tell him that Id been looking at his history, mainly because it would lead to this issue being sidetracked. I told him jokingly that he probably wanted me out of the house last week when I came back unexpectedly so he could have some one-on-one time with some !!!!!!..he mustve felt a bit of relief in hearing that because he was much more open with me about what turns him on later that night, and what he gets up to when im not home - TMI sorry but the point is that hes being more open with me, maybe he feels like I wont be so judgemental!

I still have to talk to him about the cam sex stuff, I may bring it up in the context of a friend having that problem as euronorris suggested and see how he reacts.

Lotus-eater

whatshouldido wrote: »

I still have to talk to him about the cam sex stuff, I may bring it up in the context of a friend having that problem as euronorris suggested and see how he reacts.

I wouldn't bother, it sounds as you are going in the right direction, don't upset it all again atm, just remember to keep those talking sessions going and open.

Gloomendoom

whatshouldido wrote: »

Gloomendoom, I'm pretty sure my OH has been actively viewing the cam sex sites, as the caches shows a snapshot of videos being loaded, and theres often a succession of cam type websites at a time. Although the benaughty sex dating may be a pop-up -hopefully!!- and not one that hes tried using..

I did have a chat with him about initiating, and I told him I needed to feel desired too - he responded with the same and we're both going to make more of an effort not to let there be dry periods like there have been til now..

I also mentioned the !!!!!! thing, although I couldnt tell him that Id been looking at his history, mainly because it would lead to this issue being sidetracked. I told him jokingly that he probably wanted me out of the house last week when I came back unexpectedly so he could have some one-on-one time with some !!!!!!..he mustve felt a bit of relief in hearing that because he was much more open with me about what turns him on later that night, and what he gets up to when im not home - TMI sorry but the point is that hes being more open with me, maybe he feels like I wont be so judgemental!

I still have to talk to him about the cam sex stuff, I may bring it up in the context of a friend having that problem as euronorris suggested and see how he reacts.

That's nice to know. I was hoping that you weren't going to come back and say you'd changed the locks and his stuff was in the front garden.

To be honest, if he genuinely was up to no good, I would have expected him to have been browsing incognito. There would no trail in the history or cookies. Deliberate downloads would still show up though.

daisiegg

whatshouldido wrote: »

Gloomendoom, I'm pretty sure my OH has been actively viewing the cam sex sites, as the caches shows a snapshot of videos being loaded, and theres often a succession of cam type websites at a time. Although the benaughty sex dating may be a pop-up -hopefully!!- and not one that hes tried using..

I did have a chat with him about initiating, and I told him I needed to feel desired too - he responded with the same and we're both going to make more of an effort not to let there be dry periods like there have been til now..

I also mentioned the !!!!!! thing, although I couldnt tell him that Id been looking at his history, mainly because it would lead to this issue being sidetracked. I told him jokingly that he probably wanted me out of the house last week when I came back unexpectedly so he could have some one-on-one time with some !!!!!!..he mustve felt a bit of relief in hearing that because he was much more open with me about what turns him on later that night, and what he gets up to when im not home - TMI sorry but the point is that hes being more open with me, maybe he feels like I wont be so judgemental!

I still have to talk to him about the cam sex stuff, I may bring it up in the context of a friend having that problem as euronorris suggested and see how he reacts.

Oi, I think it was me that suggested that

Glad you had a chat and were a bit more open! Now....the thing we are all on tenterhooks about....which hot pants have you picked?! :rotfl:

whatshouldido

woops daisyegg thanks for the suggestion!

well i popped into a shop on my local high street and they had a really nice hotpant and bikini set, it has a zip on the front so a bit naughty!

they look a bit like this, but in black with a pink trim

http://www.amazon.de/gp/product/B004NM3UCG?ie=UTF8&!!!!!hotpantsnet-21&linkCode=as2&camp=1638&creative=6742&creativeASIN=B004NM3UCG

my bum aint as nice as hers but it will have to do for OH for now!!

Gloomendoom, that was never going to happen (I hope) but when you stumble on stuff like that, you do start to think all sorts at first!!

Errata

OK - so what's he going to wear?