So - your 8 year old is having a tantrum... do you?

kittywight

A .... kind of

id drag my child up of the floor and make THEM apologise to the woman then id also apologise to the woman myself

also as others mentioned... 8 is kinda old to be having that kinda tantrum..... even my 4 year old has stopped doing that! lol

Carl31

Why does the kid need to have a disorder to lose their temper? I know plenty of grown ups that lose their rag in a less tidy manner than that. Who knows what had happened on the lead up to that point?

Although the apology was required from the parent whatever the situation was

abacus73

mishkanorman wrote: »

We dont know for sure that the child is 8 though do we ? as someone further up said I have an 8 year old who is as tall as my friends 5 year old, thats a massive difference in maturity levels.

I think the posters were going on the thread title for the kids age.

FBaby

My just turned 9 year old looks about 2 years older, possibly 3, but I still wouldn't have accepted that sort of behaviour when he was 5. It might have been less surprising, but I would have responded the same to it, him being 5 or 8 or 20

mishkanorman

abacus73 wrote: »

I think the posters were going on the thread title for the kids age.

Yes, but we dont know for sure the child is 8, that was only the OP's estimate.

Savvy_Sue

mishkanorman wrote: »

If I had a disabled/special needs child I wouldnt want to spend my life offering up explanations to total strangers, sure an apology was due if it happened as in the OP but it must get quite soul destroying to not get a little empathy from people towards your child without broadcasting their 'label' first.

I can empathise with the parents of a tantrum throwing child without knowing of any label: there was a mum in the swimming pool changing rooms the other day, her 4 or 5 year old was throwing a right corker while his little sister wandered around looking bemused! I offered to help carry her bags out to the car if she wanted to just tuck him under her arm, because he would neither put his own shoes on nor allow her to. Eventually he left with no trousers on. :rotfl:

However, if there is a disability, I personally think it helps to know about it. My mum, for example, is extremely deaf. If she's standing with her back to you and you say "excuse me please" she won't hear you, because she CAN'T hear you. You might think she's extremely rude not to move, but she doesn't know she's in your way!!!

The example I gave earlier, of being bawled at because I didn't realise a child who had hurt me was autistic - if I'd known, I could have made 'reasonable adjustments'. But I didn't know: I hope the child wasn't scarred for life by being spoken to by a strange adult, but I didn't think I deserved the reaction I got.

It's the same with the child who looks older or younger than their age: if I know a child is 6, I'll expect 6 year old behaviour. If they look 6 but are actually 4, my expectations may be unreasonable. If you want me to know how old your child is, you're going to have to tell me.

gardner1

Padz wrote: »

Your child is kicking off because the carvery restaurant have run out of gammon and turkey and you need to go somewhere else. You've given the child the choice of staying there and eating something different from the menu but she demands a carvery. You decide to go elsewhere and tell your child but your child says "But I wanted to eat HERE!" and throws herself round in a temper hitting a stranger on the arm in the process.


A) Apologise to the poor innocent middle-aged woman in the queue who was struck by your child flailing their arms around in a temper? Or maybe ask your child to say sorry?

Have a stand up row with the stranger because they complained about being hit?

Thoughts appreciated. Thanks.

give her a smacked bottom

sixleafclover

Good Heavens, when I was 8 years old, I did'nt even know what a Carvery was, never mind insisting what meat I had, Demanding to stay there and having a tantrum!!!

Should have gone to mcDonalds!!!!

onlyroz

meer53 wrote: »

I agree with this post. How can you be sure the child was 8 ? My son has a friend who was about a foot taller than the rest of the kids in his class and looked a good 2-3 years older than the rest. Same for my 11 year old daughter, she was premature so has always been tiny, but one of her friends looks as though she should be out at work ! If i had to guess her age, i'd say she was 15 or 16. At the side of her, my daughter looks about 6 !

There's a boy in my son's class who is a good head-and-shoulders taller than everybody else, and apparently is given extra tuition because he's brilliant at maths. However, he's a bit of a cry-baby - I had the pleasure of witnessing his behaviour at a children's bowling party at the weekend, and he flew into a tantrum because one of the other boys accidentally bowled when it was his turn.

Regarding the OP - assuming that there was nothing wrong with the child, I would have expected the parent to remove them from the situation and not pander to their whims. I would either have made them choose something that was available, or had an adult wait outside with them while everybody else ate their meal.

abacus73

Nicki wrote: »

Why the need to see rudeness when none was intended

Whether is was intended or not is irrelevant. That is how it came across to the person you aimed it at originally. Reading back over her first response she put you in your place for it. As I have seen happen very often on threads where you have upset people. Then you come back and feign innocence and turn things round to show yourself in a better light.

It is you Nikki who appears to have the agenda here and your last post to make me wise was completely unecessary. Why dont you take some of your own advice dear and just hit ignore.