On kids sending Thank You letters

balletshoes

polesalot wrote: »

We always send thank you letters unless we have personally received the present and thanked at the time.

............
My dd went to a joint birthday party (2 different families) 2 weeks ago and we still haven't had a thank you - not even a text (which I would expect anyway) from either.

I know it shouldn't annoy me, because that's how things seem to be these days, but it still does.

did your DD take the birthday kids' presents with her to the party? Wouldn't she have been thanked in person when she handed the pressies over? And so wouldn't that be classed in your first category of thank you's (ie personally being thanked so no need for a follow-up thanks?)

vasseur

balletshoes wrote: »

did your DD take the birthday kids' presents with her to the party? Wouldn't she have been thanked in person when she handed the pressies over? And so wouldn't that be classed in your first category of thank you's (ie personally being thanked so no need for a follow-up thanks?)

She wasn't thanked at the party because the presents were all left on a table when she went in.

I just think some acknowledgement would have been nice.

GlamGirlie

Hezzawithkids wrote: »

Am I being old fashioned in expecting a written thank you from the children themselves, even if its just an email? Or even some acknowledgment from the parents that the gift arrived safely at least?

It may be old fashioned, but in my humble opinion it's simple manners. I still send thank you cards for gifts received in the post etc, and I expect them in return for gifts I have given, particularly when I've not seen them open them on Christmas Day.

I don't have any children - but I would certainly insist on their writing cards for gifts.

However, I'm still waiting for any sort of thank you - card, phone call, text message, any sort of acknowledgement! - from my 8 year old God-daughter, and also in fact from her parents to whom I also gave a gift.

In fact, I am still waiting for a thank you for wedding gifts I gave in December 2010 and in September 2010!

Running_Horse

It can be a hassle for a five year old who is just learning to write to have to do 20+ thank you notes after a party. I wrote the message and she did the "to xxxx, love xxxx". But I'm not in the least offended by those who can't or won't do it.

Family are usually present for birthdays or Christmas, so a verbal thanks is enough.

I'm not sure why some get so upset by it all. Manners that have to be forced are not really manners at all, but obligation.

Caroline_a

Running_Horse wrote: »

It can be a hassle for a five year old who is just learning to write to have to do 20+ thank you notes after a party. I wrote the message and she did the "to xxxx, love xxxx". But I'm not in the least offended by those who can't or won't do it.

Family are usually present for birthdays or Christmas, so a verbal thanks is enough.

I'm not sure why some get so upset by it all. Manners that have to be forced are not really manners at all, but obligation.

Sorry, but that is so wrong! Most of us have spent time making our children say please and thank you - very simple manners I know, but sometimes there's a tussle to get them to say it. Would you say please and thank you for children if it's hassle to get them to say it?

Thank you letters are good practice for children, and 20+ letters for a 5 year old may be hassle, but if you split into chunks of, say, 5 a sitting spread over a day or so then it will help the child with her writing too.

zcrat41

Running_Horse wrote: »

Manners that have to be forced are not really manners at all, but obligation.

I totally disagree with this. Manners are there to smooth social situations and make other people feel nice.

I would say that thank you letters for kids are essential. I got married recently and spend DAYS writing personal thank you letters. I also think letters are far better than a card. I also think the content is important. I think

"Dear Auntie X

Thanks for my xy

Love

XYX"

Shows that you have a child that is not intelligent and you haven't spent the effort to get them to write more. I've had loads of these recently. What's happened to the Old School rule of
1) Thank them for the gift
2) Say something you like about it
3) Say something about what you did over xmas/birthday
4) express a desire that the letter finds the recipient well.

Mojisola

Running_Horse wrote: »

Manners that have to be forced are not really manners at all, but obligation.

And what's wrong with us having an obligation to other members of our family and wider social group? Humans only got where we are by co-operating in groups. Something which is sadly lacking in some communities today.

Caroline_a wrote: »

Sorry, but that is so wrong! Most of us have spent time making our children say please and thank you - very simple manners I know, but sometimes there's a tussle to get them to say it. Would you say please and thank you for children if it's hassle to get them to say it?

Absolutely! I don't know of any children who only had to be told once to say please and thank you. If parents didn't repeatedly encourage it (I wouldn't say 'forced"), they wouldn't do it.

zcrat41 wrote: »

I totally disagree with this. Manners are there to smooth social situations and make other people feel nice.

Teaching children good manners helps them to become part of a group. People are nicer to other people who are nice to them - manners is the basis of that.

I'm not too bothered how someone says thank you for a present. A face-to-face thanks is lovely, a phone call is great, an email is fine, a hand-written letter or card is traditional but it's the showing appreciation that matters.

cte1111

On the whole, we don't write thank you letters / cards. I prefer to thank them in person or ring them up to thank them. In particular, I really can't see the point of writing a stilted formal little thank you note, when you have been given the present in person and have thanked them at the time.

I do send a thank you card if the present is from someone I wouldn't usually see or call.

abis21

My DD is coming up 6 and we have always done thank you cards between us.

When she was too little, I would write them 'from' her. When she was old enough she would make marks on the paper, draw pictures, put stickers on, write her name etc.

Now she is old enough, she writes a full letter and draws pictures on it. I then colour photocopy the letter for however many people, and then she writes on the top who the letter is to. I think it cost £15 with the photocopying costs and stamps this time - but I think its soooo important!

Sometimes she takes a little persuading, but she does enjoy writing and drawing pictures - and its a lovely time for us to spend together - helping with spelling and deciding what to write / draw.

She even insisted on posting a thank you letter to Santa this year, and wrote one out for me too

On the other hand - I have never had a thank you letter written to me. Most people say it F2F or via text or facebook. It would be nice to get a letter, but a simple thank you is also lovely.

I did however not get a thank you from my ex's nephews the year after we had split up when I had put effort and money into buying them some lovely things (as they had said I would still be involved in their lives after the split) and the nephews or their parents never acknowledged or thanked me, so I didn't bother after that. If they had said thank you I would probably still be buying for them.

I think thank you letters are lovely. I wrote them after my wedding to everyone and put a personal note in each one as I thought that was really important. I do most of my own thank yous verbally for birthday / christmas, but always make sure DD's thank yous are verbal and written. My grandma and several other people are always very appreciative of the personal touch and effort.

pinkshoes

If you open the present in front of the person who gave it, then a verbal "thank you" would suffice. (although saying that, I still tend to write a letter...)

If someone sends a present, or gives you a present to open at a later date, then a thank you card/letter is required.

It's just general good manners.

If I sent someone a present and they didn't bother thanking me, then I wouldn't bother sending one again.