On kids sending Thank You letters

Saturnalia

I think you should acknowledge the gift & say thanks. If the giver gives you the gift in person you say thankyou there & then so no need for a note IMO but if they send it in the post or give it to another person to give to you, you should write, call or e-mail not just to thank the giver but to let them know you did receive it. Otherwise the giver is going to be sitting wondering if you ever got it or it went missing in the post and will have to call you to find out, which is awkward for them.

*Louise*

I don't think it's old fashioned...unless simple good manners are now old fashioned??

We do have a largish family, and most turn up on the day of the birthday so the way I work it is if we see them on the day then the children will say thanks you when they get the gift and thank them again when they are leaving to go home after the party.

Family members who are further away and send gifts, we send thank you letters / pictures to.


Tbh when I send something, the main reason it's nice to get a thank you is so you know they received the gift and aren't sitting thinking you have forgotten about them. I have some relatives who we send cheques to for birthdays and we only know they got them if the cheque gets cashed. They are teenagers now so no excuse that they can't do it, even a text would be great.

sparrer

I think it's acceptable to verbally thank the donor if done f2f. If the donor can take the time to buy, address, go to the post then a note/email is polite.

My grandchildren, now in their teens, have never sent thank you letters to their 90 y/o great grandmother. It does upset her, which I fully understand. She sees them once a year or less but never forgets their £10 for brithdays/Christmases.

I hear all too often that good manners are old fashioned and examples are all around us daily. All I can say is I'm glad I'm oldfashioned

Hezzawithkids

Hmmmm....

I agree with kids birthday parties it can get overwhelming but in our house it goes like this:

- presents are kept to one side until after the party is over or after we get home from the venue
- presents are opened in peace & quiet and in a calm & controlled way, all the more to appreciate each gift and take time over it rather than rushing onto the next one
- one person in the family is allocated the task of making a list of who gave what (same happens Xmas day but usually the task is rotated during the course of the day)
- we then have a neat record from which to write TY letters/notes

Gigglepig - no I haven't brought this up with my brother cos he'll get the hump (as I said, that's a whole other thread :cool:)

Mojisola

Hezzawithkids wrote: »

My kids (one 10 year old, one teenager) have always been taught from a very young age to write thank you letters after birthdays and at Christmas. Even when they were babies we would write the letters for them and get them to make a mark. Even if the gift is a "token" one, they still write to say thank you.

Most members of my family who have kids do the same.

Then there's my brother. He has 2 kids, roughly the same age as ours. He has a very well paid job, she doesn't work. They live in another town and we don't see that much of them so the pressies usually get posted. Their kids always get birthday & Xmas pressies from us, mine... well, sometimes they do, sometimes they don't (but that's another story). My kids always write TY letters. Theirs never do. There have been ocassions when I have to say to them some time after the event "Oh, did so-and-so get his/her birthday present that I posted?" and the answer is always "On yes thanks, he/she loved it".

As they're not bothered about saying thank you, I would let your kids off doing a card for them.

lilrahi

Face to face, I'd (and my kids) always say thank you straightaway, and if through post, I always phone to say thank you and basically to say it's been received. I always worry it's going to get lost or stolen or something in the post.

Treed

Manners dont cost a thing.

lilac_lady

I think nowadays it's acceptable for children who can have a telephone conversation to phone and thank people for gifts. Younger than that, I think the parents should phone or send a thank you on their behalf.

BlondeHeadOn

I have given presents (i.e. money) - to my nieces and nephews face to face - and still not received a "thank you" at all ! Just a grunt, if I'm lucky.

Upshot is, I've stopped giving them anything at all - if they can't be bothered to say thank you when I have just given them a £20 note, well quite frankly I can't be @rsed to give them anything else ever.

:mad:

It annoys the he[[ out of me, as you ay good manners cost nothing.

I always say thank you, either f2f, or by phone, or via email or a note/card, whichever is most appropriate for the giver.

Marisco

I've always made my kids phone to say thank you, and my grandchildren always phone as well. I'd have been on a loser though if I'd tried to make them write a thank you letter:D So long as the present giver is thanked, I couldn't care how it's done.