Sister's Birthday Present - mini rant

clairec79

I'd probably just say 'I thought we'd stopped exchanging presents, isn't that why you didn't send me anything for my birthday?'

Steel_2

I'm with the others in the respect that you shoudn't be buying a present for someone who is clearlty taking advantage of your good nature.

However, I would also not bother with a card.

I have done this myself for an ex-friend who not only didn't bother with a card or present on my birthday, but two months later pouted a few days after his that he hadn't recieved either from me. The conversation went something like this:

Him: where's my card and present (sulky face and pout)
Me: same place as mine I guess
Him: (burst out laughing)

Don't be under any illusion that they don't know what they are doing these selfish people. They know.

Steel_2

My BIL has a class act at birthdays and present time.

He claims the supplier is slow to post it or it's been lost or its out of stock and he's getting another. It rarely materialises.

Took him 18 months to give us his wedding present. What he doesn't know was that his MIL took me to one side on our wedding day and told me she gone halves for something on our wedding list with BIL and SIL, given them the money already but it was 'out of stock'.

Roll forward 17/18 months later we have a pointed email from his MIL about how we must be 'enjoying' our wedding gift from them, a not so veiled reference to the fact we hadn't sent a thank you card, but how could we when we had never received the money. We put her in the picture about the gift being out of stock and heard no more from her.

Hubby finally mentioned to his brother that we really wanted to get the item to replace something on its last legs and if it wasn't available any more we would go out and find something else. But we had to know one way or the other if he was still getting it as we didn't want to duplicate.

Two days later we receievd a cheque in the post for £10 more than his MIL told us she had given him with no mention from him of her contribution.

Suzanne_Louise

I'd only send her a card. I know you're not supposed to give to receive, but in not sending you anything for several years, I think you're entirely justified in doing the same. Works both ways in my world.

pearl123

clairec79 wrote: »

I'd probably just say 'I thought we'd stopped exchanging presents, isn't that why you didn't send me anything for my birthday?'

I completey agree with Clairec79.
Don't give them anything except a card maybe. (and a cheap card at that!) They are treating you poorly.

*Louise*

Ames wrote: »

I just need to have a bit of a rant.

Sister's just told me TOLD you? what she wants for her birthday. For once, it's not expensive (unlike the Christmas that she announced she wanted a food processor).

I'm a little bit narked though because she never gets me anything. I can't remember the last time she got me a birthday present. Last year really hurt because it was my 30th (yes, I know it's not an important one, but it was to me).

She doesn't usually get me anything for xmas either, unless I'm going to be seeing her on the day. So you're out of sight, out of mind then? Nice.

She didn't get me anything last xmas, or for my birthday a couple of weeks ago. So I think it's a bit off for her to be telling me what to get her. You're right thereTo be fair though, I was abroad for xmas and my birthday. So? Don't make excuses for her selfishness

I can't say anything about her not getting me anything, because she lives in London on a low wage and can't afford it. So she shouldn't be TELLING you what to get her if she doesn't bother for you A little token present would be nice though. Or even a card. Yup, that doesn't cost the earth

I think she sounds selfish and spoiled and I understand why people have asked if she is your younger sister.

Send her a card. If she is rude enough to ask where her present s tell her the same placeas yours. She will get the message, and with that answer she doesn't have much to fuss about.

Having no money is no excuse for not even just sending a card.

podperson

I would agree you have every right to be a little annoyed about it. I would buy her either a token gift or just a card and if she says anything then you thought since you're not kids anymore you weren't bothering with big presents anymore - and isn't that why she didn't get you anything? I don't think the low income is any excuse - my brother is on a low income, he always asks me what I would like for my birthday and I usually pick something quite inexpensive so I know he won't have to spend too much. If he just sent a card though I wouldn't mind as it's more the fact that he's made the effort and is thinking about me.

euronorris

Being abroad is no excuse for not getting a card or pressie, or acknowledging your b'day in some way. I live abroad, and the likes of Moonpig (for cards) has ensured that cards are sent when a gift cannot. But we still manage to order and have gifts sent to people too.

Admittedly, sometimes I am a day or two late, and when strapped for cash a week or two (waiting for payday). But I ensure that Birthday's are always acknowledged.

And there is no way, that I would EVER tell my siblings that they have to get me x, y or z! At most, I give a wislist to my mother if asked and then she let's people know if they want ideas. Although nowadays, I am trying to get my wishlist onto Elfster instead as anyone can access it when they want, and my Mum won't have people asking her.

System

your sister sounds spoiled, ungrateful and used to getting her own way. Your not a doormat and your family are treating you like one.

mummyoftwomonkeys

My husband said you should get an empty box, wrap it up and post it to her and when she opens it and asks what that is all about just say oh I thought I would send you the same as you got me for my birthday.