Sister's Birthday Present - mini rant

j.e.j.

It sounds like your sister has gotten used to things they way they are. Are you the older sibling by any chance? She probably hasn't even thought to question how one-sided the situation is. I must admit my younger brothers never get me a card or present (and it's not that they can't afford it), but they don't dish out lists of 'wants'. Your sister does sound a bit childish. I think in future I would just buy a small present in advance, before she forwards you her birthday list, or just get her a card.

mazza111

I know you don't give to receive, but also feel you are being taken advantage of. I would give her a card. No explanations no nothing. If she wants to make anything of it, then I would bring up the past.

Stephb1986_2

Hi op I know where your coming from, my fiances dad did the same to us we bought him a parrot hands free kit for his car and a DVD box set we got nothing not even a card. The worse thing I find is that he gave my fiances sister £100 in a card. My fianc! puts a roof over his head which he doesn't pay towards at all, he leaves the metres gas and electric with nothing on them leaves no food for his own dog and just bu ggers off for a week at a time expecting us to look after his dog when my fianc! works 4 nights a week 4pm till 6am

If I was you I'd save the money and not get her anything my brother treated me the same I always bought for him and he never bought for me so I stopped buying he asked my mum why so she told him why

Steph x

jillymit

Is it your 'baby' sister?
I suspect it's not really the gift that's bothering you but the apparent lack of thought for you by your family. A card isn't beyond most peoples budget and you probably would have been very happy to at least receive one.
Some people really have no though for others feelings and because you are able to afford to buy these gifts and outward appearances tell then you're fine and better off than some (able to take a holiday) they make the mistake of thinking she's ok, I'll not bother.
No forethought, no hidden messages just selfishness really.
For what it's worth, I know how you feel and I don't think you're being materialistic at all.
It would be a bit awkward to mention to either of them that they 'forgot' your birthday I think but you should say something and your Sisters birthday and her gift list is the ideal opportunity.
Send her a lovely 'you're the best sister ever' type card and next time you speak to her (especially if she has the cheek to complain about the lack of gift) say something along the lines of, "I know it's only a little thing but I think that 'family' is so important, I chose that card really carefully for the message in it. I think we should just EXCHANGE cards from now on."
If she doesn't like it tough! You've lost nothing in my opinion but at least saved yourself the anguish every year when you let them hurt your feelings.

jillymit

Reading StephB's post given me another idea.
How about mentioning to your Sister about how hurt/sad you are that you Dad didn't send you a card, especially as it was you 30th and then mention to your Dad about you disappointment over her not bothering.
Don't mention anything about them, I bet they won't say anything but the message will get through.
If you want to buy your Sister a gift, buy her what you want to because you want to not because you feel you have to (you don't!)
HTH.
:bdaycake: Happy Belated 30th Birthday Ames

Mojisola

It's just extraordinary that someone would not buy you a present or send a card but then tell you what to buy for her birthday!

It's time to equalise the relationship. Just send a card. If she has the nerve to ask for her present, say that you're following her lead and not buying presents for the adults in the family any more.

Any

You have absolutely no need to apologise and have to explain yourself for "sounding childish" and "not being materialistic".
Anyone who would say something like that just because you are wondering why a gift is expected of you, while you don't even get a bunch of flowers for £2.99 or even daffodils for £1 for your 30th Birthday or a card, is saying that just because they are the same selfish gi*s who are excusing their own selfishnes.
Don't ever let anyone make you feel like that, you sound like a nice sensible girl and it's obvious you are not expecting them to match the value, yes, you don't give to receive but giving a thought is what counts and makes you deserving in the first place! (IYKWIM)
You are not getting this thought, so I would just go along with it. She might have asked for present, but there is another saying "don't look gifted horse in the mouth" so just get her a card or the bunch of daffodils and she cannot say a word!! She already is getting much more then you, mainly the fact that on her Bday at least someone had thought of her.

peachyprice

I'm in the 'just send her a card' camp.

If she asks where her present it just tell her that as she didn't get you one you thought you'd slipped into the 'no pressies now we're grown up' phase.

Sambucus_Nigra

Ames - what do you want from this? A rant and for it to continue? To change but do it nicely? To have a mass blowout?

dundeediva

Ames,

I think it's irrelevant what issues you have had...bottom line is she is being really unfair. That is unless she is a child, but I highly doubt a child would want a food processor .

I would give her a card, and a card only. I would NEVER not buy a member of my family a gift, even just a small token gift, especially for a 30th etc. I think she knows you'll buy her something but is now used to giving nothing in return and you need to show her how its done!

Stick to your guns!! Oh...Happy belated birthday!!! :j