Help please, am i being miserable?

VfM4meplse

BugglyB wrote: »

Perhaps just print out thread and send it in with the birthday card then you'll never have to see them again :rotfl:

Excellent advice!:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

pukkamum

Okay i am going to bite the bullet and reply with a sorry but we just can't afford it, on the facebook event that she created (not even a proper invite!)

faerie~spangles

pukkamum wrote: »

Okay i am going to bite the bullet and reply with a sorry but we just can't afford it, on the facebook event that she created (not even a proper invite!)

Noooooooooooooooo don't do that.
Decline the invite, you do not have to give a reason.

somethingsgottogive

Sounds like you'd have an awful time anyway - especially if they end up patronising you the whole weekend. No way would I go if it were me!

Any

pukkamum wrote: »

Okay i am going to bite the bullet and reply with a sorry but we just can't afford it, on the facebook event that she created (not even a proper invite!)

Either withold the reason or send private message about the non affordability.
You don't need everyone to know.

*Louise*

Pleeease don't write on the fb invite that you can't afford it!!

Aside from the fact you prob don't want others to read that - it is your sister, she at least deserves a phone call.

I think the whole weekend sounds crazy, bu I'm not the sort of person who bothers about brithdays (my sisters MIL throws herself a big party every year, fancy dress, the whole works lol):rotfl:


In tha situation I would probably make the effort to attend the one of the lunches if other family members were going. The party they can have with their friends, overnight stays etc are a bit much for a 40th

I do think it's a bit odd that she is asking people for £10 for the party....could she not just have said 'bring a bottle'? Much more acceptable, less cheeky imo. If you throw a party you expect to cater for your guests.

BJV

I know how hard it is. My husband and I work hard and are ok ish. On the other hand my sister is very very comfortable to say the least. I also understand the kindness option. Not nice and esp of in front of the children. Have to say it but it sounds like you really don't want to go even if you had the funds to do so. Think that is the real issue. Couldn't you just pop down first thing sat morning with a card and explain. She is your sister and while she may want you there she has to understand.
That said I would not like to be in that situation as you either go and blow a load of money you have not budgeted for and are miserable. Or you up set her. Sorry I am selfish think my children and the kids would come first. She is your sister she will forgive you. Good luck and don't be bullied/guilt trip, into going if you don't want to.

his_missus

If I were you, I'd call your sister and explain you can't make it, if necessary tell her you can't afford it so soon after Christmas. I'd offer to have them round sometime for a meal as way of celebrating BIL's birthday. She sounds frighteningly like my sister and her friends.

pukkamum

his_missus wrote: »

If I were you, I'd call your sister and explain you can't make it, if necessary tell her you can't afford it so soon after Christmas. I'd offer to have them round sometime for a meal as way of celebrating BIL's birthday. She sounds frighteningly like my sister and her friends.

Thank you it is good to know i am not the only one with this situation i will text her (too scared to phone as i know she will try and guilt trip me into it and i fear i may cave in).
We have decided to say no to the whole thing, the Sunday meal isn't really a family affair his family aren't invited/going as far as i know so it will be just friends and possibly my mum and her partner (sister will manage to bully mum into it even though it is totally not their thing either!) x

Mojisola

pukkamum wrote: »

Thank you it is good to know i am not the only one with this situation i will text her (too scared to phone as i know she will try and guilt trip me into it and i fear i may cave in).
We have decided to say no to the whole thing, the Sunday meal isn't really a family affair his family aren't invited/going as far as i know so it will be just friends and possibly my mum and her partner (sister will manage to bully mum into it even though it is totally not their thing either!) x

Don't text - send a nice card thanking for the invite but saying you're sorry but you can't make it. Be prepared for pressure - from sis and maybe your mother who won't want to go without you.

I wouldn't go to one of their events even if it wasn't costing any money after the way they behave with you. Stay firm!