Can't bare to have toddler son sleep on his own in his bedroom

Kimberley

Carmina_Piranha wrote:

was the OP asking for advice anyway? i thought she was asking if anyone else agreed with her.

Correct me if i'm wrong but isn't that asking for advice

jembie

I am a terrible mum as I was the opposite. I couldn't bear to have my children in my room with me.
When my daughter was born she had to share our room for the first 6 months as there was nowhere for her to go but as soon as we got our own flat with 2 bedrooms, she went into a cot in her own bedroom. When my son was born he was in the carrycot next to my bed for 5 months until I moved to a 3 bedroomed house and he went into his own room.

I never really let my kids come and sleep with me as they were growing up either. The only time I let them into my bed was if they had a bad dream. I just like my privacy too much I guess.

Pink_butterfly_3

Yes, Jembie you are an AWFUL mother. I'm sure your kids will have ASBO's by the time they are 12.

My kids have slept in their own rooms from young and certainly aren't deprived from love and comfort. We scrimped and saved and have gone without so i can stay home full-time with them. I'm pretty certain thats more important than whether they sleep next to me or not.

As for the OP, do whatever works for you. I'm sure everyone does things that another person wouldn't neccesarily agree with. Let your kiddies be your guide. You'll know when they are ready.

conradmum

Kimberley wrote:

Correct me if i'm wrong but isn't that asking for advice

You're wrong. Asking if people agree with you isn't the same as asking for advice. The OP was asking for some support in her decision. What she got was a lot of people saying the practice is weird and strange, that she's projecting her own loneliness onto her children :rolleyes: and that people who have their children sleeping in the parents' room must be breastfeeding them to the age of 10. Hardly supportive.

Pink_butterfly_3

Asking if people agree is asking for peoples opinions. Suprisingly enough, people don't always agree. Theres no need to jump down the throats of everyone who has a different opinion to you.

Telling someone that their husbands family and friends are strange is hardly a constructive comment.

Kimberley

conradmum wrote:

You're wrong. Asking if people agree with you isn't the same as asking for advice. The OP was asking for some support in her decision. What she got was a lot of people saying the practice is weird and strange, that she's projecting her own loneliness onto her children :rolleyes: and that people who have their children sleeping in the parents' room must be breastfeeding them to the age of 10. Hardly supportive.

Coming onto this forum even to ask if people agree, is asking for advice because it's obvious people will give it :rolleyes:

liney

Are you like me? Was the question.

The Op is not asking how to remove her child from her room, just asking if her situation is common.

Notice i said no one elses concern, not business.

Kimberley

liney wrote:

Are you like me? Was the question.

The Op is not asking how to remove her child from her room, just asking if her situation is common.

Notice i said no one elses concern, not business.

You must know by now that when you put your business up on this forum you will get peoples advice and it is their concern.

jackieb

I have 4 children. My OH has always worked away from home. The first 3 always slept with me when my OH was away, until they were about 4yo (that is the age gap between each one). The older 3 are boys so I wouldn't have let them share my bed when they were much older than 4/5yo anyhow. My youngest is 11yo and she still sleeps with me when her dad is not here.
My dad also worked away from home during the week and me or my sister always slept in mum's bed when he wasn't there. Mum didn't like sleeping alone. Sometimes, if it was cold, there would be mum, my sister and myself in the same bed and i'm not talking about little kiddies either - i'd been a teenager and my sister in her early 20s.

It's just what you're used to and what you're comfortable with. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

I never had a problem with any of mine going into their own bed either. My daughter's bed was in our room until she was 5yo, but that was due more to lack of bedrooms.

conradmum

Pink_butterfly wrote:

Asking if people agree is asking for peoples opinions. Suprisingly enough, people don't always agree. Theres no need to jump down the throats of everyone who has a different opinion to you.

Telling someone that their husbands family and friends are strange is hardly a constructive comment.

To quote the OP
Are you like me?

Do other families work the same also?

Now people are perfectly entitled to post and say, no, we don't do it like that. The replies this poster has received include:

I do find the idea quite weird TBH

Personally I think he should go in his own room. Sounds to me like your trying to make excuses but deep down that you know he should.

Do you think your depression is having an effect ? and making you want to keep your child close to you ?? doing it for yourself and not for your son

I also think its about time the 3 y.o. slept in his own room

You both need your space

But if it's your fears of loneliness then you may end up with a self-fulfilling prophesy

i think it sounds strange to have them in your room for so long

it's not normal here

They should really have their own room from day one,

if you keep him in your room till he's 5, then that is rather strange

I could go on. Now please tell me how any of those responses is answering the OP's questions?
And as you can see, my comment on people having strange sleeping habits was only in response to a rather judgemental and unkind comment from another poster.
Personally I believe people should do what they feel is best for them and their families. There are plenty of examples and plenty of evidence to show that what the OP is doing is not that strange and certainly not harmful, and I do not believe she deserves many of the responses she has received on this thread, just because her style of parenting isn't the standard method in this country at this time.