Can't bare to have toddler son sleep on his own in his bedroom

chocaholic110

HappySad wrote:

It has been stated that at the very least to have your child in the same bedroom for 6month or better 1 year for cot death reduction of risk.

It is good to know what is recommended from Health Visitors and then decide for yourself at take an informed decision based on the risk. I know a friend who smoked and also used a quit for their baby and that baby was OK as many who do this will say.... but their second baby was not as a few of parents are regretting to have learnt the hardway.

I was going to say that but you beat me too it. I was quite happy to have my children in my room as babies. After that, my son wouldn't have ever dreamed of sleeping in my bed, would have been horrified if I suggested it even. My daughter on the other hand likes to come into my bed on the nights that my husband is away...she never even asks to come in if he's home and sleeps quite happily in her own bed. I don't have a problem with it. When my son was tiny and still in my room I twice woke up with a start to find him not breathing but both times was able to get his breathing going again - I have no idea what woke me or why but attribute it (rightly or wrongly) to being in the same room and some instinct woke me up.

Six years later my sister also had a son, who slept in his own room from the word go and he died during the night aged 3 months. Now I'm not for a second saying that would happen to every child, as SIDS is quite complex and no-one is entirely sure why it happens, and why it would happen to one child and not another, but my OH and I are trying for a new baby and I can definitely say that if we are ever successful that baby will sleep with us for the recommended amount of time - I will follow every bit of advice there is!

My grandma (who had twelve children) used to say as long has everyone has had a good night sleep then the whole family is happy - I would say as long as everyone is sleeping and no-one is being forced to sleep anywhere then does it really matter?

chocaholic110

HappySad wrote:

That would make sense to curl up your legs to keep baby in place in a nature way

Interestingly this is the way I slept with mine when they were little. I would often breastfeed in bed and drop off to sleep with them. I even slept with DD in my bed in the hospital and nothing was said.
I have read research that both advises for and against co-sleeping as a contributing factor for cot death but having said that in a future situation I would probably do EXACTLY what the FSID advises. I know from my nephew how hard the "what if..." thought is.

Carmina_Piranha_3

oh choccy that's so sad for your sister! there hasn't been any cot death in my family but my baby used to stop breathing a lot when he was under 3 months old, it terrified me.

for some reason both of the cot deaths i know of have been babies aged 17 months and both were poorly with a cold and possible chest infection. i always want my baby to sleep in the same room as me when he's poorly, and it was the same with my eldest. i've spent many nights in a sleeping bag on that bedroom floor because when they have a temperature they don't want to be under a duvet in your bed with the heat from 2 adults.

plumpmouse

I sleep near my son if he's ill, we have a bed that has two bed in it if that makes sense.

Can someone answer me and I may sound thick here with regards to Cot death I never understood why it benefited a child to be in the same room.

I'm not sure if I'd been fast asleep that I would have woke up if there was a problem.

Spendless

plumpmouse wrote:

I sleep near my son if he's ill, we have a bed that has two bed in it if that makes sense.

Can someone answer me and I may sound thick here with regards to Cot death I never understood why it benefited a child to be in the same room.

I'm not sure if I'd been fast asleep that I would have woke up if there was a problem.

I've googled for you to see if I could find an answer but the best I could find is this

http://www.bradford.nhs.uk/Children/Babies/sleeping.htm

This is pure guesswork on my behalf, but perhaps things like a room being too hot, the parent is more likely to realise if they are also in the same room.

I know by nature I am a worrier who will dwell on details, so for me I had to follow the FSID guidleines for mine.

Carmina_Piranha_3

perhaps there's some restlessness that a parent would hear. i don't really like to think about it too much.

the link that was posted earlier was interesting, i'd heard about it but not in so much detail. something to do with the mum's breathing stabilising the baby's breathing. it's very noticeable at 2 months but has tailed off somewhat by 5 months. i imagine that's why they say to do it for the first 6 months after which the protective effect of having another human breathing nearby may have been lost.

just my opinion but i think some guidelines have been made through correlations but there might not actually be a causal link. perhaps bed-sharing in the UK is a factor in cot death (due to us being a nation of heavy drinkers/smokers/etc) but across the world it isn't - bed-sharing cultures have lower cot death than we do.