Can't bare to have toddler son sleep on his own in his bedroom

CFC

On the subject of babies in parental beds - please remember the advice from FSID on reducing the risks of cot death. Anything that you can do to reduce the risk of cot death is immensely valuable:

Advice for parents to reduce the risk of cot death:

• Cut smoking in pregnancy - fathers too!
• Do not let anyone smoke in the same room as your baby
• Place your baby on the back to sleep
• Do not let your baby get too hot
• Keep baby's head uncovered - place your baby with their feet to the foot of the cot, to prevent wriggling down under the covers
• If your baby is unwell, seek medical advice promptly
• The safest place for your baby to sleep is in a cot in your room for the first six months
• Do not share a bed with your baby
• Do not leave a baby to sleep in an adult bed.

Please avoid sharing a bed with a baby if you can possibly do so. Cots in parental room for first six months is best.

I know, I know - you'll say - but this thread is about 3 year olds and upwards, not about babies - but I can't help posting this whenever I read about a baby sharing a parental bed because I can't bear the thought of anyone increasing their chances of experiencing SIDS without realising it.

Alleycat, I'm sure you've done your baby absolutely no harm by keeping her in your bed for 6 months, but the best advice is not to do it - posting this for others who might be considering it.

Carmina_Piranha_3

CFC wrote:

but I can't help posting this whenever I read about a baby sharing a parental bed because I can't bear the thought of anyone increasing their chances of experiencing SIDS without realising it.

but you don't feel the same compulsion to mention it to all those who don't keep their babies in their room for the first 6 months :rolleyes:

co-sleeping is only dangerous when parents don't take proper care - if they smoke or have a drink etc. or if they turn their backs to the baby (so it could wriggle down under a duvet) instead of curling around it in a naturally safe position - breastfeeding mothers do this instinctively. countries where co-sleeping is the norm have LOWER rates of SIDS.

gravitytolls

bunty109 wrote:

HappySad, you have to do what is best for you.

Mind you, one night sleeping with my 9 year old DD might make you crave a room to yourself. It's like having a fight with Bruce Lee for bed space, duvet etc!!!!

Sounds like my cat LOL.:rotfl:

CFC

Carmina_Piranha wrote:

but you don't feel the same compulsion to mention it to all those who don't keep their babies in their room for the first 6 months :rolleyes:

co-sleeping is only dangerous when parents don't take proper care - if they smoke or have a drink etc. or if they turn their backs to the baby (so it could wriggle down under a duvet) instead of curling around it in a naturally safe position - breastfeeding mothers do this instinctively. countries where co-sleeping is the norm have LOWER rates of SIDS.

Nope, I think that parents should keep their babies in their bedroom in a cot if they possibly can for the first six months. That is the best advice currently available - the foundation has no 'axe to grind'.

Probably I'm more sensitive to people posting about babies in parental beds, having had close personal experience of death in this situation.

You may say that sleeping with your baby is safe. I would always advise parents to follow the foundation's advice if they possibly can for the first six months.

know that some parents do not have the room to put a cot in the parental bedroom, and in those cases I would suggest that the parents consider a breathing monitor and put their child into their own bedroom rather than having the baby in bed with them, or leaving them to sleep in an adult bed on their own. When the best practice is impossible, a parent can only do what she can do.

There are no health risks with an older child - so back on topic after my little meander off topic!

Alleycat

I don't agree that co-sleeping is always dangerous. As long as you are safe i.e. no heavy bedclothes, pillows out of the way etc I feel that it is one of the safest and harmonious ways to sleep with your baby. If you breastfeed, your baby wakes up naturally on a very regular basis to take a drink. They don't become fully awake, but rouse. They are also able to tune in to their mum's regular breathing which helps to control theirs and can actually prevent cot death.

Please read the following, which has research on the effects and safety of co-sleeping...

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000.asp

HappySad

I could not have a baby in bed with me bacuase of medication and I am also a very heavy sleeper. I also sleep when I am very hot so this is the perfect conditions to NOT have your baby in with you.

fivemice

I wonder if the rates of co-sleeping and cot death are also reflected in breastfeeding and cot-death. I'm sure I read that babies who were FF and co-slept were more at risk than those who were BF and co-slept.

OP - As long as you are happy, and are certain that you are doing this for the right reasons, and your OH is happy and it isn't causing any problems within the child then I don't see any reason to stop. We all parent in different ways, as long as we do our best that's all we can do.

Had to laugh at the inverse snobbery in this post though.

Carmina_Piranha_3

5. Sleep-sharing infants tended to sleep more often on their backs or sides and less often on their tummies, a factor that could itself lower the SIDS risk.

i've found that - he likes my arm around him when he sleeps with me, so if he turns onto his tummy he puts his throat onto my arm and it's uncomfortable so he rolls over a bit.

we only really had him in our bed until he was around 6 months, after that he rarely wanted it and preferred to be in his own cot. he liked sleeping with me last week but that was only while my husband was away - once he came back we had a terrible night because there wasn't enough room and baby hated it and actually wanted to go back into his room. my eldest liked sleeping in our bed until he was at least 4 - different children have different wants.

Carmina_Piranha_3

fivemice i've read that it's usually breastfeeding mothers who curl around their baby to keep him safe - formula feeding mothers are more likely to sleep normally. having a breastfeeding mum's knees drawn up towards baby will prevent him wriggling under the duvet.

HappySad

That would make sense to curl up your legs to keep baby in place in a nature way