Moving near the other woman...???

Lotus-eater

globetraveller wrote: »

Its not about trust really, its about being reminded all the time.

I think this is right, it's not about how you will deal with it, or how the hubby will behave, it's about the daily life and well being of the OP. I think it's going to eat into you, every day you are going to think about it and if you manage to forget, you only need to see her once, to bring it all back.

I don't think from what she's said, that she can ignore who lives up the road, ignore and get on with her life the way she should.

So I'm voting for a no.

victory

I was also going to add if the OW has kids that go to the same school as yours? Will your paths not cross at the shops, the local pub, school fetes, indoor boot fairs, the big supermarket weekly shop? The cinema?

one_hot_minute

No, I think you'd have to be off the wall to even consider it. Walking past her thinking 'my husband has had his 'you know what' in her,' daily reminder of unhappy times. If this move is really all about a new start for you both, why even consider moving somewhere with potential conflict. And you'd be on the back foot meeting neighbours wondering if they know about the affair, if they were laughing behind your back or worse, pitying you.

And...she would of course think that the move was designed driven by the fact your OH isn't over her and wants to rekindle. Even if he's not interested, do you want another woman sniffing round him? One he has history with. One he put a quick fling over his love for you?

Seeing her at the shops, at the local etc...god...why are you even considering this? Is it to prove a point to her that she doesn't matter?

nickyhutch

Not a chance.

paddy's_mum

HomeMum wrote: »

She most certainly bloody did! Anyways, im amazed at the response this question has generated! Thanks so much for all the replies, i have read each and every one, and after each one i think, oh yes, thats true, and then i read the next one and think "no, thats not". And it has made me decide that IF the chance to move is there, i am certainly not going to let one person (ie OW) dictate my future, ive had a crap past year, and am looking only forward. So to hell with the fact she lives around the corner, if i move into the house and look out the front door, i wont see her or her house. Nor out the back either. But you know, if i did? I would think, a sad lonely woman lives there with no respect for herself. And be glad its not me. I am stronger than that, the past year has proved it. So onwards and upwards people.....watch this space. I promise to update, and to those who will be concerned, thank you, but i do think i am going in with my eyes wide open. (anyway just think how awkward she WILL feel lol) And yes, if he was a fool enough to do it again, then i would rather be living in a nicer area on my own and they would definately have to move away :rotfl: But im joking, i trust him. Mistakes are made, by everyone. We are all only human. So im certainly not going to pass up an opportunity. :T

I don't know what's gone on between post 69 and wherever this post turns up but I just wanted to say

GO, LADY!

meritaten

does she have kids? as its housing association there is good chance that she does - could you handle your kids making friends with hers? want HER kids coming round to your house? or yours going round to HERS? If not, how would you prevent that? Its all very well you saying I will go where I want etc and SHE wont stop me! but, she will be passing your house every day wont she? as you dont have to pass hers and its a cul de sac.
I would have thought your OH would be horrified at the thought of moving near her - a man genuinely sorry about an affair would be, I would have thought. and would have moved further away out of temptation - funny that he says 'Its up to you'.
I really think its a bad idea to move there! I dont think its going to do your relationship any good at all.

paddy's_mum

Balderdashlocks about all of this stuff about the OW (who may of course been fed a tissue of lies!)

The greatest enemy sits across the table from the OP every breakfast and dinner time.

If they move, and if the house is perfect, and if the OH is resolute, they have perfection (through hard times!) within their grasp.

I envy them, truly I do.

Good luck, OP, from the bottom of my flawed human heart!!

make_me_wise

meritaten wrote: »

I would have thought your OH would be horrified at the thought of moving near her - a man genuinely sorry about an affair would be, I would have thought. and would have moved further away out of temptation - funny that he says 'Its up to you'.
I really think its a bad idea to move there! I dont think its going to do your relationship any good at all.

I totally agree with this, especially that he says 'Its up to you'. So if it all goes wrong and temptation proves to much again he can turn around and say its the OPs fault.

I find it hard to believe that in such a short amount of time all is rosy. I cannot fathom why the OP would want to be anywhere near this woman. There are many houses out there that are beautifully decorated and in nice areas that will be or become available.

Effectively the OP is gambling her happiness and security for a few smartly decorated rooms. Something just doesn't ring true here.

one_hot_minute

Wow. Well, all I can say is good luck. It wouldn't be me.

1more?

paddy's_mum wrote: »

Balderdashlocks about all of this stuff about the OW (who may of course been fed a tissue of lies!)

The greatest enemy sits across the table from the OP every breakfast and dinner time.

total agree, i think that your OH is the one who cheated on you:o, yes the OW may of known you / known about you but it was your other half who has responsibility to you & your children not the OW & you have forgiven him !!

but as for living across the road from her no way in a billion years, i think it is asking for trouble
good luck op