Moving near the other woman...???

Any

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

What happens when he's fifteen minutes late from going to buy milk or get a paper?

He's proven he cannot be trusted once. By the way he's talking, she didn't end it and he didn't by choice, only by being caught with his nob out. So perhaps she would take him back if she were to see him regularly at the corner shop, walking the dog, on the way to the bus stop, for example. What if she tends to hang around outside like a lovesick puppy? You can't call the police for someone standing outside.


Why make it easier for him and harder for yourself?

Definitely this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The only thing he did was to choose you over him when given the choice. Not not start it in the first place or think about your feelings for 4 months.

So what that he has driven you up her road?? What the hell does that prove? That he has enough restrain not to jump out of the car and run towards her the moment he sees her house, that is the only thing.

I would NOT try my fortune.
Why keep waving a rabbit in front of dog's nose??? All is fine now, but at one point for some reason he was attracted to her and one day when you two have some problem and quiet household who is to say he won't bumpt into her and she won't be all nice and sweet and to caress his hurt?? Just by chance?

It's a house. It's something you cannot just pick up and move or bin when you find out it doesn't work.

Any

lisaf wrote: »

Can't believe that no-one has mentioned the fact that with regards to moving closer to this OW that the husband may be tempted again. Surely if the OP or anyone in her situation had a miniscule thought that their OH could cheat if temptation was put back in the way then please tell me what the point of being back with someone is?
Surely he could cheat regardless of whether OW was just up the road or with anyone else for that matter.
Sorry I just don't get that 'why put temptation in his way' when really even if he lived next door to Elle Mcpherson he shouldn't be tempted! And if for a second you thought he would be then why be with him anyway?
Lisa x

It's the life circumstances that can happen and help it along the way.
I cannot see how it is unconciavable - I love chocolate, if it is in the house I will eat it to make myself feel better or when tempted just because it is there!!!
If BF broke up with me, I would eat it.
If I got fired, I would eat it.
If fell into a lake in the middle of a winter, I would eat it.

No matter how strict my diet. This is obviously on small scale.

This happens with relationship on big scale. You never know.

And it's not like he has proven track record, is it?

euronorris

HomeMum wrote: »

Emmzi - i am honestly not addicted to drama!!! In fact im a quiet person who absolutely hates conflict. Maybe you are all right, and i shouldnt. It just seems really unfair that the house is in a lovely area, and in any other circumstances i would JUMP at the chance, i did nothing wrong, but i seem to be the one having to hide away I trust DH, but i guess maybe im being niave about everything. Ah well, i can dream....

You don't HAVE to hide away. Whether you do that or not, is entirely your choice. Though, it is true that if the affair had not happened, you wouldn't even be considering her proximity to the house. As much as that sucks, you can't change the past, you can only control how you react and deal with things now.

So, do you think you could handle being that close, seeing her, bumping into her etc etc? If the answer is yes, go for it!

If the answer is no, maybe, I don't know etc, then I wouldn't bother. Your mental health and happiness is far more important than any house. So remember to place a high value on that.

Personally, I couldn't do it. Despite all the arguments for moving there, I just wouldn't be comfortable with it and I'm pretty sure it would eat me up inside, day in, day out. So, I would wait for another house in a more suitable area.

x

Pee

I wouldn't move there the end of this year, the end of next year or the end of the following year. Not unless she had moved. It would make me miserable seeing her, if she looked good or happy I'd think I can't compete, if she looked crap, I'd think why did he upset me so much over that... I wouldn't know what to do if I saw her, say hello breezily and try to rise above it, ignore her and put other neighbours in an awkward position...

I am delighted that you have put the past behind you and congratulations to you both, but this move doesn't seem the right one to me. I'd rather live in a house I didn't like than that close to someone I understandably didn't like.

tea_lover

lisaf wrote: »

Can't believe that no-one has mentioned the fact that with regards to moving closer to this OW that the husband may be tempted again. Surely if the OP or anyone in her situation had a miniscule thought that their OH could cheat if temptation was put back in the way then please tell me what the point of being back with someone is?
Surely he could cheat regardless of whether OW was just up the road or with anyone else for that matter.
Sorry I just don't get that 'why put temptation in his way' when really even if he lived next door to Elle Mcpherson he shouldn't be tempted! And if for a second you thought he would be then why be with him anyway?
Lisa x

For me it wouldn't be anything to do with temptation for the OH, it would be to do with my own peace of mind. There's no way I could stand having to look at the OW every time I left my house, I'd never be able to move on from what happened.

Mistakes have been made and they are trying to get past that, why on earth have a constant reminder at the end of the road?

newcook

Sorry to ask but did the woman know he was married?!

My friend was seeing a guy who had told her he wasn’t married – she believed him until 6 weeks later his wife came knocking on her door calling her all the names under the sun!!
Had my mate known he was married she wouldn’t have touched him with a barge pole!

Errata

I don't think I see people who live 25/30 houses away from me from one year to the next, and I can't see why the same wouldn't apply to the OP and her OH. I'd move in to the new house, but if my OH so much as blinked at the wrong time the sky would fall on him.

HomeMum_2

newcook wrote: »

Sorry to ask but did the woman know he was married?!

My friend was seeing a guy who had told her he wasn’t married – she believed him until 6 weeks later his wife came knocking on her door calling her all the names under the sun!!
Had my mate known he was married she wouldn’t have touched him with a barge pole!

She most certainly bloody did! Anyways, im amazed at the response this question has generated! Thanks so much for all the replies, i have read each and every one, and after each one i think, oh yes, thats true, and then i read the next one and think "no, thats not". And it has made me decide that IF the chance to move is there, i am certainly not going to let one person (ie OW) dictate my future, ive had a crap past year, and am looking only forward. So to hell with the fact she lives around the corner, if i move into the house and look out the front door, i wont see her or her house. Nor out the back either. But you know, if i did? I would think, a sad lonely woman lives there with no respect for herself. And be glad its not me. I am stronger than that, the past year has proved it. So onwards and upwards people.....watch this space. I promise to update, and to those who will be concerned, thank you, but i do think i am going in with my eyes wide open. (anyway just think how awkward she WILL feel lol) And yes, if he was a fool enough to do it again, then i would rather be living in a nicer area on my own and they would definately have to move away :rotfl: But im joking, i trust him. Mistakes are made, by everyone. We are all only human. So im certainly not going to pass up an opportunity. :T

make_me_wise

HomeMum wrote: »

He was eventually found out, long boring story but the eventual outcome is that here we are, seven months down the road, happy, very much together and trying to move on with our lives. These things happen, he has apologised, is remorseful and i have forgiven. So...... we want to move to a new home. You know, new year, new home, new start (far too old for new year, new baby lol :rotfl:). The problem is we have spent an exhorbitant amount of money on our property, and live in a housing association home. Therefore we can swap with other tenants, but to be honest - and i deeply apologise to those offended by the next remark - an awful lot of tenants do not upkeep their properties as we have. We dont want to have to completely regut another property as we simply dont have the finances to do so. We have been contacted by a tenant that wishes to exchange with us, her house is just what i have been looking for, on a private development with just a handful of HA homes, just 10 years old, beautifully decorated, a short walk for my children to the local high school (they currently have to get two buses) in short, everything i could want. BUT the road the house is in is in a circle, and whilst the house i could move to is at the bottom end of the circle, the house the OW lives in is at the top :eek::eek: of the circle.

Dont do it. You will live to regret it. Hold fire, other decent properties will come up and they wont have your husbands past affair living up the road. It is unlikely that she is happy that he went back to you. Effectively she is a woman scorned by him and potentially she could blow your marriage apart if she decided to try.

WhiteHorse

HomeMum wrote: »

He says that she could live next door, or 100 miles away, and she would be no threat as that chapter in the book is closed.

It boils down to a couple of simple questions. His and Hers, if you like. Do you believe him? Do you think that she will come after him?