Grrrr Problems with OH over DMP

kiwi88_2

Hi Sea

Just a thought but maybe start another post/thread with just your SOA on the DFW board because people might not see it on this thread and you'd probably get a better response You wouldn't have to go into details just say that you're in the middle of a break-up and finances not settled yet. As I said just an idea.

Keep up the good work and the forward thinking and well done :T

Edit Just thought if you're changing utilities, insurances ect try Martins comparison sites and then see if the best deals are listed on cash back sites like quidco and you could earn money for switching.

Sea78

Hi Kiwi88 - thanks - I think I will do this tomorrow - need to also sort current finances out too!

Sea xxxx

smilealot

Hi Sea! Well done you - you've made fantastic progress, even if it may not feel like it. Sounds like your sollicitor is a good 'un.

Just wanted to send you lots of happy thoughts.

One thing... I don't think you should stress to much about upping your DMP monthly payment. Don't stretch yourself too much. It will be a hard few months ahead, don't make it too tough for yourself. I only pay £158 and have six different creditors. You can always save any leftover cash and make a lump payment and up your monthly amount in 6 months, however, it wouldn't be so easy to reduce it iyswim?

Lots of love,

smilealot :rolleyes2

P.S. Your NUT sub seems high - is this normal? I'm an NQT so haven't had to pay it this year. Haven't budgeted it in for next year in my DMP - eek!

hypno06

Hi Hun, I just have a really practical and boring thing to say, and that is regarding the life insurance. It may not be much cheaper for you to have a single policy so may be worth keeping the joint policy and just you pay into it as normal.

This way, if OH dies, you still get the payout, which you can use to either pay off any remaining debt/mortgage you have or can put in trust for the children.

You don't need to necessarily think of it as being money that YOU would get, but think of it as being money that would go towards the kids futures and security.

As said above, it may be cheaper and necessary to change to a single policy, but it may actually provide some security if kept as it is but just changing certain elements of it.

Hope that makes sense and doesn't sound too surreal.

Keep going, you are doing fine x

superpup

I'm more of a lurker than a poster but have read this thread (should have gone to bed ages ago, lol) and my heart goes out to you. I just want to wave a magic wand and make everything okay for you.

One thing that's been bugging me since I read it was when you commented that you were worried you would lose custody of the children (much earlier post). I have no experience of this and no legal knowledge etc, but would a court want to give custody to someone who gets through the amount of beer your soon-to-be-ex OH gets through? I doubt it very much. Especially when you seem such a capable, loving and caring Mother. Do you have any way of proving how much beer is consumed on a regular basis, receipts maybe?

I really hope things work out for you. Words don't seem enough but it's all I've got here unfortunately. You sound a lovely person and if I wasn't tucked away in the South West I would be inviting you round for a cuppa and lending you my ear.

take care
x

Sea78

Hi

Thanks for the pointer s- I'll check the NUT. Regarding the life !!! I may well keep it like you say Hypno, and ensure that my will is quite specific about it!

Superpup - I will be mentioning the beer next time I see the sol. We're not really managing this whole carrying on like normal thing - asked him towatch the kids while I nipped to do the supermarket shop (usually take them with me and so it lasts a long time). Thought he might as he put a video on for the kids when they woke up this morning (I was completely out of it and didn't hear them!!) although didn't feed or dress them. However, he said I need to get used to being a single mum and so take them (!!!!!!) petty argument ensued. So silly. I took them.

Am now waiting to go to the garden centre so spend some birthday vouchers with DD to get some little pots etc for seeds she got from Santa. He's now helping a mate put up a pole in his house. 2 hrs later still waiting.

I was wanting to add something positive today and not just whinge about him again! Sorry!

Sea78

Right - been inspired by the positive vibes going on tonight on the board so thought I'd post what a lovely afternoon/evening we've had - went to the garden centre and got lots of lovely bits and pieces with my vouchers. Came back and the kids had a wonderful time -DD anyway - DS was happy just to 'grub' in the soil!! Now got sunflower seeds, carrot, sweet william, alpine strawberry, butterfly plants, snake & christmas trees (novelty kids ones) seeds all planted and ready to sprout (if we haven't drowned them already - a kiddies watering can is no good!!).

Will now attempt to post a pic of the kids...






Hope that works - click to enlarge I think?

Sea78

oooh and the wonderful kiddies gardenin gloves dd is wearing too

The pic of DS in the car is at the garden centre...

hypno06

Fab photos, you look as though you all had a really good day. And it will be great for the kids to watch the seedlings etc grow.

beanielou

Great photos
hope your week turns out ok.
take care.