Grrrr Problems with OH over DMP

jinky67

:A So sorry to hear your latest news, hope it all goes well at the lawyers.
Stay strong...you can do it!:A

RAS

Sea

Sorry everything is going belly-up. Please please make sure that you get advice about the debt situation as well as the equity in the house. Do not make agreements without getting independant advice.

beanielou

Nothing to add to what has been said.
huggles.

teecee152

Sea - Massive hugs to you, hang in there I know it's hard but you will get through this! :grouphug:

Take Care

teecee xx

Sus1e

I have just sat here and read the thread. I am so sorry that you are going through all this.

I have had one thought - you say that the debt was jointly done but only in your name (if that makes sense?). I would get copies of what was bought with the credit - credit card statements, loan agreements etc and take them to your solicitor. I would have thought that a good solicitor would be able to make him accountable for some of the debt by using this information.

I really hope that things work out ok for you.


Susie

Bunnyinthelights

Sea,
I am so sorry for you. I am sending you huge huge support and hugs,
Bunny x

Sea78

Hi

Thanks for all the support. I have a app with a solicitor (recommended and also part of resolution thingy so that's good - more likely to not go through courts) on Fri at 5pm and need to get all things together to see him then. Financial stuff, stuff about the kids etc. I guess I'll have to take the kids with me though I'll see if OH can have them, but it's fully awkward!! Got some support from a few people at school today so I don't feel so alone here now which is nice.

Just have to get everything sorted and wait this week out!
OH is now being over the top nice. Arghhhh
Sea xxx

RAS

Sea

Know you probably have a lot going on and this isn't directly DFW, so please tell me to bogof* if i am out of order.

Just have to get everything sorted and wait this week out!
OH is now being over the top nice.

This makes me nervous. What is there and what is not there.

If he is being over the top nice, either he has recently been over the top un-nice, or he has got his way with something he thought he was going to have to fight over.

You are going to the solicitor, you are going to have to get things sorted.

HE wants the divorce, HE sorts it. It is important, HE wants the divorce, HE has to petition. I know that you have agreed to accept this, but he has been to a solicitor to start the petition?

When he got in debt, Sea sorted it out. I am worried that when he wants a divorce, Sea sorts it out?

If you are the petitioner, it will almost certainly get thrown back in your face. By your OH, by your IL, by your kids, in the future. Teenagers can be horrid, particularly over this sort of thing.

The other thing is that from the outside it seems your financial proposals are lop-sided.

He has an income and will have no dependants lkiving with him. You have a small income and child care responsibilities.

You jointly have some equity and some debts (he is liable for half even if your name is on them).

The court will want to ensure that the children are provided for, and will expect the person with most resources (OH) to provide for them and possibly you as you have a very young child.

Please go to the solicitor with an open mind, not with a proposal that could bankrupt you and jeopardise the roof over your children's head.

Best of luck for tomorrow.

RAS

Sea78

Thank you so much for your response. He has been very different since last weekend- but I know that he can be like that and I don't really want to live like this any more.

I have now scrapped all thoughts of anything I might have promised and now am waiting to see what the solicitor says. As it's a personal recommendation I feel better about going to see him as well. I've written down the facts concerning the children and the finances separately. I have played around with figures and think I can just about manage to live without his income, but not for the debts - this can be sorted though I know.

Will be able to think more clearly once I've talked to the solicitor.

Sea xxx

Bunnyinthelights

Sea,
I'm glad you feel that something is getting done-to be honest, I don't really know what to say...
Please take care of yourself and the kids,
Bunny x