Grrrr Problems with OH over DMP

Sea78

Hi

Thought I'd update this as it's been over 6 weeks now...

Well, things are different now, I guess better, we haven't argued for a while but it's like co-existing with someone, not really talking about things - me doing ebay, this site, the house, the kids etc and him doing xbox or the house.

He told me tonight he feels lonely (asked him as he asked me the other night when v drunk). I don't know what I feel.

He's been earning money through doing a bit of work at his sisters - which has paid for his beer for the last few weeks so that's a relief.

Maybe things will improve - I don't know. I 'm trying to think postively about stuff generally but kind of feel detached from all this.

The overall feeling I get from him is disappointment - for whatever it is that I haven't done. So we don't really talk as I don't want to feel like this. I'm trying to make some friends, but it's hard!! (sound like a complete sad act now!!).

A good thing he's done is really attack the garden for the kids so now they can go out and play all the time and they LOVE it. So that's made me really happy, which I've told him a lot!!

Thanks for all the advice and guidence throughout this thread.

Sea xxxx

ps Lonely - it's our debt not just mine

D&DD

Hi Sea :A just read through all of this just what is it about boys and their toys eh My OH sounds very like yours especially with the xbox!!
Thing is I think I felt more guilty about 'denying' him his treats now as I don't work at the moment(for the first time ever!!) *Hang on a sec just had a glimpse of C Murphys naked butt :rotfl: ...watching 28 days later again:rolleyes: *
Ahem, But then I sat and thought yeah but when do I ever get a necessity like new knickers even let alone a treat:rotfl: I had to start to ignore the little comments..yes it was hard and it caused a few ructions for probably a good few months (probably the stage you are at at the moment??) BUT he's come out the other side a lot better trained :rotfl: I'm really hoping your DH will see the light as it were for your sake its a lot of burden to carry around on your own hun especially with a dodgy back!!
On the back issue I can highly recommend that foot thingy,reflexology.Now coming from the person with THE most ticklish feet in the entire world I thought it will never work,load of old..tosh,BUT I've had a bad back since I was at school (accident with a hugh jump bar..) and so far of all the things I've tried over the years this is the one thing that gives me relief from the pain :j Might be worth a try seeing if your local college do cheap sessions with trainees maybe??Most of all stay strong hun,I know you can do it WE know you can,you just have to believe in yourself like we all do D XX

*zippy*

Glad things are a little better for you sea. Well done for staying positive as it can't be easy sometimes and don't forget you will always find support here. I think most marriages go through a rough time, I know hubby and I looked at each other one day and wondered what the hell we had done! Got through it though and he wouldn't be without me now

I am a reflexologist so can def recommend it, you should get it for £10 or less at your local college, but in the interests of DFW, you may be able to get acupuncture through your doctor, some doctors do it and our local hospital also does.

zippy x

D&DD

Ooh *Zippy* can you do it online yet :rotfl: send me some vibes through girl!!!

*zippy*

I try to do my own sometimes and its just not the same Sometimes after I have finished a treatment I feel like saying ok off the bed and you can do mine now

Vibes on there way hun!

I_was_a_fool

I feel for you both. Maybe you are staying together for the children & for the debt. This is obscuring what you once had together & increasing your stress levels. Without these to consider you may well be able to work things out or decide to part company. I think you need to sit down together & decide what path you would take if you had a free choice. You cannot continue feeling trapped. My personal opinion, feel free to ignore!

hugs
Sharon

beanielou

Sea
Reading your post makes me realise that Im actually v glad Im on my own & dealing with things best that Ican , rightly or wrongly.
Huggles

Sea78

Well, how wrong can I be. It's over and I think I must be in shock as I seem to be alternating between just sitting, crying and being in denial! One minute he says we should try again for the kids sake, the next we need to be looking at our options. What options? I'm screwed. All debt in my name. p-t wage. etc.

He wants joint custody, fair enough as I guess I'll stay in this area for the kids sake (DD jsut got into good school & ds has brill childminder) but he's got his entire family nearly here and I have one (new) friend!!! I'm getting legal advice after the weekend - going to try to get as much of it as possible for free - here's hoping.

My mum is here now which OH hates and is helping with the children as I am a little all over the place. Am going to try to get a drs appointment as think I am depressed as well. BUT this doesn't change the issues with OH. Just will stop that being used against me in a court.

Sea xx

hypno06

Hugs coming your way from the Hypno house.....x

However bad things seem at the moment, they will settle down and you will move forward.

You have your mum there at the mo and she will be a great help, I am sure.

Is OH moving out and if so when? You really need space to get your head together right now.

I think you are right to go to the Drs. You have dealt with a heck of a lot over the last few months with minimal support from what I can see and that is a lot for anyone to take on.

Every day is a new day. You will move forward and using your common sense and your desire to be debt free, you will get where you want and deserve to be.

Stay strong, I am thinking of you xx

maralum

I'm so sorry sea. I know that there's nothing I can say to make you feel better right now, but I think you're very brave.

I truly wish you the best and hope that some sunshine comes into your life soon.