Grrrr Problems with OH over DMP

beanielou

^^^^^^^^^^^^
Would agree.
Take care
lou x

eryn_kathleen

I've only just caught up on this thread.

When I first read, I thought £40 for a year's xbox subscription, while not essential, wouldn't be a terrible expense if he willing to cut back elsewhere and if he was contributing to the housework and dedicated to clearing the debt.

My jaw dropped lower and lower as I read on. He sounds like a right piece of work, and a little bit scary TBH.

I think you're doing the right thing. Keep on making preparations to leave in case you can't work things out.

Just in case you need it:
http://england.shelter.org.uk/advice/advice-142.cfm
Although the top half is about domestic violence, the bottom half has some good advice on housing options.

BettiePage

Whilst I agree that the OP sounds as though she'd be better off without her hubby, please don't push her into this. Give her the info she needs/asks for then step back and let her decide for herself. This is a big decision and should be her own decision, not this forums.



OP, whatever you decide, peeps here will support you. Chin up!

BettiePage

I didn't mean to stop posting advice though....sorry OP

Sea78

THank you all for all the advice. It's really helped as I don't really have anyone I can vent to here.

I am going to take the softly softly approach and tackle each area i'm disatisfied with step by step. If in about 6 weeks (til Easter hols!!) nothing has changed then I can't say I didn't do everything. I'm going to tackle the beer first, but guess I need to lead by example and not drink anything for a while too. The relate app did help more than I thought - it's calmed me down a lot and has made me sure that it isn't all my fault, which I knew before anyway, but nice to have it confirmed iykwim?

I am going to do things in such a way that he can't complain about anything I do. Then, he might change? Or at least be more responsive to any suggestions of compromise.

I completely agree that if it continues like this, it has to be over. I'm just not ready throw in the towel yet!

I will no doubt be on again ranting/saying what's happening but will try to make it more abou the money side as this is what this board is about, eh? I just 'know' you all on here more than other boards (although there are loads who go on all the boards).

Money wise, I have a convertable wind thingy from his sister to sell - so fingers crossed it'll sell and I can put that money into the grocery budget and buy some doors for the downstairs (£30 each, only need two and it'll help with the cold!). Indoor doors btw!!

Thanks again, all the posts have been really comforting.

Sea xxxx

eryn_kathleen

Sorry, I didn't at all mean to suggest that you should leave. I don't want to push you into anything either!

I just know from my own experience that it's really difficult to leave (even temporarily) without a plan and at least a little bit of money. If you decide that you do want to leave, it's best to be prepared for that.

Funnily enough, my OH and I worked it out, so it does happen. Good luck!

BettiePage

eryn_kathleen wrote:

Sorry, I didn't at all mean to suggest that you should leave. I don't want to push you into anything either!

I just know from my own experience that it's really difficult to leave (even temporarily) without a plan and at least a little bit of money. If you decide that you do want to leave, it's best to be prepared for that.

Funnily enough, my OH and I worked it out, so it does happen. Good luck!

I wasn't aiming my post at you, sorry.:(

Bunnyinthelights

Sea,
That sounds a very sensible plan.
I guess if you can say hand on heart you have tried EVERYTHING then you can then decide what is the best way to sort out the mess...There is nothing worse than having regrets.
Don't worry about ranting-we all have moments and it's nice to know others can empathise.
Bunny x

sad_gills_fan

40 mins later, no work done and I've finally read the whole of this thread. What a saga, it's more addictive than Lost!!!
On a more serious note, I have no advice for you as I'm useless with things like that BUT ... I do find that whenever I'm feeling at rock bottom, if I listen to the song 'Something Inside So Strong' by Labbi Siffre, it lifts my mood. Your OH doesn't sound too helpful and his comments telling you that you're mad/depressed/nagging etc only seem to be dragging you down a bit more.

Here is the chorus for you ...
Something inside so strong
I know that I can make it
Tho' you're doing me wrong, so wrong
You thought that my pride was gone
Oh no, something inside so strong
Oh oh oh oh oh something inside so strong

Hope it gives you some more strength.

Sea78

sad_gills_fan wrote:

40 mins later, no work done and I've finally read the whole of this thread. What a saga, it's more addictive than Lost!!!
On a more serious note, I have no advice for you as I'm useless with things like that BUT ... I do find that whenever I'm feeling at rock bottom, if I listen to the song 'Something Inside So Strong' by Labbi Siffre, it lifts my mood. Your OH doesn't sound too helpful and his comments telling you that you're mad/depressed/nagging etc only seem to be dragging you down a bit more.

Here is the chorus for you ...
Something inside so strong
I know that I can make it
Tho' you're doing me wrong, so wrong
You thought that my pride was gone
Oh no, something inside so strong
Oh oh oh oh oh something inside so strong

Hope it gives you some more strength.

WOW! I can't believe you've posted this - it's just brought the biggest smile to my face:D - It's the first song on my ipod and I play it really loudly in the kitched - the kids dance about and I sing along. It helps me when thinking of all the things annoying me -him, debts, etc.

Thanks for posting this - might go listen to it again - beats Brother Bear yet again on DVD!:)