son and condoms

Nicki

This all reminds me of the first time my OH bought condoms. We weren't all that young (18 and perfectly legal) and had been discussing it for some time and the least embarrassing way to get some. Eventually we decided a big Sainsburys was sufficiently anonymous but as we had no transport it was in our local town where we were students. He got a basket of stuff, tucked the offending items under everything in case we met anyone we knew, and picked the only pack with no price on it, so had the cashier stand on her stool, waving them over her head and shrieking for a price check for a 12 pack of durex! He was mortified and I was hiding down one of the aisles in the supermarket wetting myself laughing!

FatVonD

When my eldest step son lived with us we left condoms in the bathroom cabinet and also in his Christmas stocking. My middle stepson doesn't live with us but we included a huge vacuum-packed supply (2 retailer-sized packs of 20-odd packs had been sent into work for some reason) in his Christmas stocking this year. At the same time as bringing home the big pack I also had 3 packs from the other one that was opened so did the whole banana-demonstration thing with my own son and said that when the time comes I'll leave them in the bathroom and restock as necessary. I did offer him the rest of the opened packet to play around with but he declined but thinking about it I should maybe just leave them in his room anyway.

DS was embarrassed about the banana demonstration but curiosity won out. Middle stepson did lots of smacking his head and saying 'you're sooo embarrassing' when he opened his condoms at Christmas but he's dead chuffed and has told all his mates. We find the best way around the embarrassing stuff is to brazen it out/take the mickey and really play up to being the embarrassing parent. When DSS opened the condoms (in front of his grandparents), DH said 'go and try one on then' (as if it was a jumper) to which my FIL replied, 'yep, and if they're too small you can give them to your dad'! MIL was mortified and said 'what would his mother say?', his mum it turned out was crying with laughter when she saw them.

bestpud

Nicki wrote: »

This all reminds me of the first time my OH bought condoms. We weren't all that young (18 and perfectly legal) and had been discussing it for some time and the least embarrassing way to get some. Eventually we decided a big Sainsburys was sufficiently anonymous but as we had no transport it was in our local town where we were students. He got a basket of stuff, tucked the offending items under everything in case we met anyone we knew, and picked the only pack with no price on it, so had the cashier stand on her stool, waving them over her head and shrieking for a price check for a 12 pack of durex! He was mortified and I was hiding down one of the aisles in the supermarket wetting myself laughing!

My OH pinched a few from his mate who went through quite a few of them and didn't notice.

Then, when he eventually decided he ought buy some of his own, he went into Superdrug and spotted an old family friend so hid until they left the shop and made a dash for the counter! He was worried they'd do just what happened to you but got away without that! :rotfl:

FatVonD

Nicki wrote: »

This all reminds me of the first time my OH bought condoms. We weren't all that young (18 and perfectly legal) and had been discussing it for some time and the least embarrassing way to get some. Eventually we decided a big Sainsburys was sufficiently anonymous but as we had no transport it was in our local town where we were students. He got a basket of stuff, tucked the offending items under everything in case we met anyone we knew, and picked the only pack with no price on it, so had the cashier stand on her stool, waving them over her head and shrieking for a price check for a 12 pack of durex! He was mortified and I was hiding down one of the aisles in the supermarket wetting myself laughing!

Off topic but that's what happened to me the first (and only!) time I shopped at Lidl not knowing I needed £1 for the trolley (and that there were no hand baskets.) The assistant yelled across the shop for a pair of pliers to extract a £1 coin from the trolley he'd given me (lest I steal it at the end) and when the otehr assistant said, 'has she got her money stuck' he yelled, 'no, she hasn't GOT any money' :eek:

jellyhead

Auntie-Dolly wrote: »

Does a mothers responsibilities ever end? Not only do we give birth to them, feed, clothe & care for them, we are now expected to buy their johnnies as well! I just asked my 13 year old if he would want me to buy his condoms & he was mortifed.
I'd be making it very clear what I expected from him in the way of avoiding STD's and unwanted pregnancy, but they must learn to take responsibility for themselves at some point.

I'm going to talk to my 15 year old soon. I am sure he and his girlfriend are not sexually active, but he is very shy and I think we should discuss it before he actually has need of a condom.

I think he will be able to buy them from poundland or use his debit card on the net, but what I'm worried about is what happens if he runs out and has spent all of his pocket money on a playstation game. I remember thinking it would be okay to take a risk when I was 16, and us girls all talked about ovulation cycles and how we thought you couldn't get pregnant if you hadn't ovulated yet :eek:

I'd like him to know that if he wants to have sex but doesn't have any condoms in his room that he can get one from the bathroom cabinet, and also that I won't actually be counting them or commenting on it, because he may well be sharing them with his mates. I don't want him to think that his mummy is noticing when they are used!

VitaK

I would tell him he can find some in the bathroom cabinet. He may very well not use them but its important that they are available should he need them.

My aunt works with sex-education in schools and when i was that age she gave me a few thousands condoms at a family party as a joke. I dont think i ever been that embarrassed in my life. A good 15 years later i look back and can laugh about it. Infact i am happy i could try to put a few on before the day where i was with a girl, the lights are off and the moment makes everything more difficult.

daska

Owain_Moneysaver wrote: »

will you let him use the self-scan checkout?

Yes, he has a pre-paid card that he can use - and he will learn that no noisy siren goes off and no big finger covered with flashing lights magically appears over his head. But, I've always been one of those parents who has made a point of being open (not blatant) about sexuality. My kids know that I expect them to wait but, in return, I recognise the other pressures put on them not to. I cannot bury my head in the sand and rely on them doing what I would like them to do. Ultimately, when they want to do the deed, they will find the time and opportunity, the best I can do is ensure that they are as well equipped as possible emotionally, physically and financially (so yes, I will pay for condoms LOL). I will also make sure my kids know where the nearest clinic is that they can get free independent advice and where, if they slip up, to get hold of the morning after pill etc.

valk_scot

What an interesting discussion. My DS is 15 and there's been no girlfriend yet (that I know about!) as he's a bit shy and also, far too busy with other things like rugby, music, DofE, Scouts and school etc. Goodness knows when he'd find the time for a girlfriend! However we've always been fine with chatting about sex and he's come in a few times to tell me about the escapades of some of his school friends, including who won this year's prize for getting pregnant the fastest. I've always taken the opportunity to say "Should have used a condom!" during these conversations and I'm pretty sure he'll have that lodged in his head, but I'm also pretty sure he wouldn't want me to buy him any. The embarrassment!

Now I'm asking myself whether he'd be confident enough to go and buy them when he finally needs them, or whether he'd remember about the youth clinic down the road, or if he knows about vending machines? So thanks to the OP and all participants on this thread for making me think about this point and I'll be certain to work the question into the next relevant conversation, also to tell him that if he ever preferred I'd buy some for him and no questions asked. Actually, given that we're supposed to be money saving here, I'd probably just go to the FPC and ask for some for him, lol. Am I mean or what????:rotfl:

lostinrates

valk_scot wrote: »

What an interesting discussion. My DS is 15 and there's been no girlfriend yet (that I know about!) as he's a bit shy and also, far too busy with other things like rugby, music, DofE, Scouts and school etc. Goodness knows when he'd find the time for a girlfriend! However we've always been fine with chatting about sex and he's come in a few times to tell me about the escapades of some of his school friends, including who won this year's prize for getting pregnant the fastest. I've always taken the opportunity to say "Should have used a condom!" during these conversations and I'm pretty sure he'll have that lodged in his head, but I'm also pretty sure he wouldn't want me to buy him any. The embarrassment!

Now I'm asking myself whether he'd be confident enough to go and buy them when he finally needs them, or whether he'd remember about the youth clinic down the road, or if he knows about vending machines? So thanks to the OP and all participants on this thread for making me think about this point and I'll be certain to work the question into the next relevant conversation, also to tell him that if he ever preferred I'd buy some for him and no questions asked. Actually, given that we're supposed to be money saving here, I'd probably just go to the FPC and ask for some for him, lol. Am I mean or what????:rotfl:

I think the point about 'when he finally needs them ' is the difference between whether it's ideal for the son or the mother to buy. If I had a son I'd want him to be confident enough to buy them and use them properly, which might be aided by being familiar with them before he (or she) needs them.


I went to a very conservative catholic school, but one day we were given trays of all sorts of vaguely phallic shaped veg and fruit and in a hilarious environment learnt to put a condom on almost anything. Even thought it was a catholic school. I think maybe the larger vegetables also kept some of us a little wary for a while longer than we might have been otherwise too......but I'm pretty sure I can get a condom on smoothly, with no air or tear on anything a man could present me with now:rotfl:

roadiegirl

I remember the first time me and boyfriend (both 16) decided to go and buy condoms. We stood very sheepishly in the aisle in the middle of the supermarket, him deciding which ones to get (ended up with Durex Extra Safe), and me nervously looking around to see if there was anyone we knew! When his Mum found the piece of paper that comes with them, she turned around and said "What've you wasted your money on these for!" and pulled out a box and said she'd got them for us, but didn't want to pressure either of us and that we should have just got them from the GUM clinic if we were to embarrassed to tell her. Needless to say a month later I went on the pill, then the injection, after having conversations with both my mum and his.

I think the mothers on here that have said about buying there sons/daughters condoms have got the right idea, I'm at university at the moment, and last year in halls one of the lads Mum's regularly sent an Asda delivery up, and always put a packet in! It is daunting to go in the shop and get them, same with the first time of going to a family planning clinic.