How to handle dating a high earner

Lotus-eater

I've just realised, I think what this comes down to is values.

When my OH was still living apart from me, she was at uni and living on nothing, I was earning a decent wage and had lowish outgoings.
I just spent on us and never gave it a thought, I don't think she did either, but that's because we had the same spending values. We would save money together and not really get anything flash, because we just aren't like that.

The person I know who is married to the rich guy, has the same values as him just about, even though she's never earn much. So it works.

I don't think you ever really change the way someone is about money, so if you're completely different, it's something to think about.

make_me_wise

time2deal wrote: »

On the negative side it does mean that everything we own is ‘mine’, or has been paid for by me – but we are married now, so that’s not as relevant.

All the time you stay happily married its not relevant. You ever decide to split it would be

Slinky

If I was eating out 3 times a day every day and having 4 lots of coffees from Costa/Starbucks, I don't think I'd be able to fit through the front door of my house never mind anything else! I love eating out at restaurants as a treat, but surely if you do it all the time it loses the appeal? It can't be healthy either. And as for getting glammed up ALL the time for the posh restaurants..........

OP aren't you craving things like beans on toast by now?

pinkshoes

Why don't you just do DATING?!

i.e. he takes you on a date of his choice and pays, then you take him on a date of your choice and you pay.

That way, you get to find out the sort of things he likes, and he gets to see what you like.

If you don't like each others choice of dates, then perhaps you're not compatible??

74jax

TheLearner2008 wrote: »

Also I found out his rent and other expenses are not as much as I expected e.g. his rent is about my salary :rotfl: I thought it was more hehe

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I know someone who is married to a bloke like this,
He can't budget at all, spends far too much on everything,

pinkshoes wrote: »

Why don't you just do DATING?!

i.e. he takes you on a date of his choice and pays, then you take him on a date of your choice and you pay.

My post 43 was trying to suggest what you are saying pinkshoes (fab name btw:)) but you said it much easier than me.

My OH's rent was also my salary, just a little bit more. He then went on to buy an apartment and when he moved in with me rented his apartment out. So it really isn't that unusual.

My OH can't budget to save his life. If we decided on spending £1000 on a holiday and found a fantastic one for £1100, he can not see why I dismiss it as 'over budget'.

Weekly food shopping with him was a nightmare at the start, I paid one week (spent around £30, and then the next week when he paid it would be more like £80). Now I let him shop every week :rotfl:

I think it will come good in the end, it's just very hard at the beginning. I am so pleased we both stuck it out, and I hope you are too in the future.

catch_me_if_you_can

Mojisola wrote: »

Do you really still split bills even though you're married?

My partner and I do! I pay the utilities and my mortgage (he paid 70% off when he moved in) and he pays for the food and wine... and holidays... petrol... meals out...

LisaB85

Slinky wrote: »

And as for getting glammed up ALL the time for the posh restaurants..........

Would drive me nuts, I'd want to curl up on the sofa still in my jodhpurs

time2deal

catch_me_if_you_can wrote: »

My partner and I do! I pay the utilities and my mortgage (he paid 70% off when he moved in) and he pays for the food and wine... and holidays... petrol... meals out...

We do too - and I think it isn't that unusual. I know some friends who shared bills since virtually day one, and others who have been married for years and still have it split up.

We don't split bills formally. I cover some, he covers others. For dinner and stuff one tends to pay, and then the other the next time. If we are somewhere more expensive, I reach for the bill, if it's cheaper, he does. I'm not there with a spreadsheet analysing expenditure each month!

OH is actually still linked financially to his ex as they own a house together, so i'd rather keep things seperate until he has at least untangled that!

time2deal

Mojisola wrote: »

Do you really still split bills even though you're married?

p.s. We are actually only just married, so things will gradually change now presumably.

Bluemeanie_2

Slinky wrote: »

If I was eating out 3 times a day every day and having 4 lots of coffees from Costa/Starbucks, I don't think I'd be able to fit through the front door of my house never mind anything else! I love eating out at restaurants as a treat, but surely if you do it all the time it loses the appeal? It can't be healthy either. And as for getting glammed up ALL the time for the posh restaurants..........

OP aren't you craving things like beans on toast by now?

Lol, I was thinking that! How do you stay in shape with eating out so much? Or are you just lucky! x