Child stealing food, now needs to lose weight - anyone else been in this situation?

**curlywurly**

blue_monkey wrote: »

Considering Bratz dolls cost at least £12 each, you were *happy* that they ruined £72 worth of toys in an afternoon? Seriously?

I'd like my child to have more respect for the things that we buy her thanks.

And you were fine with them ruining £60 worth of toys as long as it was not your best make up? Bizarre set of principles you have if I am honest.

Hahaha. I considered that they were toys to be played with and that's what they were doing .. playing with them. They weren't "ruined" ! I don't buy toys to sit in a box and be "respected", I buy them to be played with.

Her toys... her choice.

MY make up ... MY choice.

Lunar_Eclipse

blue_monkey wrote: »

We have a 'no pens upstairs' rules. Do you think she listens?

I have two girls, both slightly older than your daughter. Given the damage to furniture that you have mentioned, in this specific scenario, I would do whatever it took to ensure that pens did not go upstairs.

That might mean you do not have any pens in the house for a short period, but at some point, as frustrating as it is to have a 9 year old daughter who cannot/will not follow basic instructions like these, you only really have one choice, which is to take control of the situation (& possibly parent in a way that you never wanted to.)

Another thought about toys: they don't need to cost a fortune, and I wouldn't spend full price if I felt they weren't being treated properly. My eldest daughter was keen on Bratz dolls. I bought her six dolls, all beautifully dressed, in great condition and with a range of accessories at our school fair for £10 a couple of years ago. (It was by choice in case it matters, I could have afforded to buy them new but that was unnecessary.) Spending £12/doll (I thought they were more like £20 to be honest) is not the only way to buy desirable toys and probably doesn't make sense at the moment. This daughter also had a Bratz dolls head that she could style and apply make up to etc. She loved it (I always thought it looked a mess, but better she practiced on that than on herself!;))

treeca

I agree with pinkclouds, no convenience foods in the house
Have lots of fresh fruit always available
Don't keep too much food in fridge
Good Luck

Savvy_Sue

Maysie wrote: »

Have a good chat about what's right and wrong and how upset it made you feel that she took and took and never asked explain how shocking that was. Ask her how she would feel if you took/borrowed something of hers without asking. Really push the empathy route. Mine struggles unless i put it how would you feel if x did that to you. He still does not get it half the time but I keep trying.

Laying it on thick with the empathy only works if they have any. My eldest didn't. I'm not sure BM's DS does, and it's not clear whether her DD does either. I used to ask DS1 how he would feel if X Y or Z happened, and he would just look at me blankly: he didn't know, because 'feelings' were just not wired into his brain. I used to have to tell him that if X Y or Z happened he'd be very sad / upset, so it wasn't kind / acceptable to do it to anyone else. We kind of got there, eventually, but he's still not great at it (now 24!) - he just accepts that other people are a lot more emotional than he is!