We're aware that some users are experiencing technical issues which the team are working to resolve. See the Community Noticeboard for more info. Thank you for your patience.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!

Child stealing food, now needs to lose weight - anyone else been in this situation?

Options
11112131416

Comments

  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,571 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    I think I'd be inclined to look at what she eats, as opposed to the quantity.

    At first glance, I'd be swapping some of the non filling carbohydrates to more filling and nutritious protein food items. I can understand her being hungry, it doesn't sound like she eats enough (of the right things to fill her up.) I don't think many children would find a sandwich and crisps enough for dinner, especially if they've had school dinners and been active. Have you thought about dinners such as grilled chicken breast with brocolli and cauliflower, poached eggs or even beans on toast. Similar calorie intake, but far more filling, thus reducing her overall calorie intake as she won't need to fill up on yoghurts & fruit.

    If I eat in the evening the kind of foods this child is being given, I know I would be wanting to continually snack.

    Don't forget, too, that a child's brain is still developing and the brain needs fat in the diet.
  • blue_monkey_2
    blue_monkey_2 Posts: 11,435 Forumite
    edited 5 January 2012 at 9:00AM
    can i get you to read some of your comments again. in particular the comments about your son.

    it seems to me as if your son gets an awful lot of attention and understanding and your daughter has to really fight to just be considered. its almost as if you take the easiest way out with her, but with your son youll do anything.

    if you think thats not at least part of her problem then i dont think there is anyone in the land who could help you.

    So here we go again, one comment I am being turned into the bi tch mother from hell who does nothing for my daughterm and she is ignored, I think you need to get a grip personally.

    Yes, my son cannot have sweeteners so we buy the sweetened versions instead - big deal. Where does this indicate my daughter gets nothing? If they want something to eat, I buy the sugared version in case he wants some of it too.

    Fighting to be considered? From one comment about not having sweeteners in their diet. I do not think ANY child should have sweeteners - however it is more important for him otherwise my daughter ends up getting the brunt of his behaviour. Trust me, she is more than considered.

    My daughter plays instruments, goes to clubs, has trips away, days out, even goes on holiday, she goes to endless music clubs, and does drama club at school. When they have performances I am there at each and every one, when they have achievement assembly I go to each and every one. She is not short of my attention. My son gets none of these as no clubs will have him.

    He gets hand me down clothes, we get shopping trips with her as we have no-one to hand me down clothes.

    Trust me, she is not fighting to be considered in this house and she gets far 'more' than my son does - she just gets the sugared versions of foods because he cannot have sweeteners or additives. Not a bad thing anyway, sweeteners sent her manic as well.

    However, she does not appreciate all that he is given anyway.

    And yes of course they get the food choices they want, why do you think there are so many things in the cereal cupboard for example? There is absolutely no issue with this. Some foods are banned from the house because they have additives in - yes, this is mainly for him but if they are not doing him any good they are not doing her any good either.

    THIS ISSUE IS NOT ABOUT WHAT SHE EATS NOW, IT IS ABOUT WHAT SHE ATE THEM AND REVERSING THE DAMAGE THIS DID. I had 8 years of her not having put this weight on so her diet is not an issue, reversing the damage she did during that time is. She did not binge on everything, she took foods that she was only allowed in moderation, and did not respect the boundaries put in place. Those boundaries were there because if she ate too many she would become overweight. See, and this is where we are.
  • blue_monkey_2
    blue_monkey_2 Posts: 11,435 Forumite
    My DD, aged about 8 at the time, had half a dozen Bratz dolls. Her and her friend had a fab day cutting and styling all their hair and covering them in make up. They enjoyed it no end, I had no problem with it. Her dolls, her choice. I just don't see a problem with this, so long as it's not my best make up and so long as they tidied up after themselves (which they did).

    Considering Bratz dolls cost at least £12 each, you were *happy* that they ruined £72 worth of toys in an afternoon? Seriously?

    I'd like my child to have more respect for the things that we buy her thanks.

    And you were fine with them ruining £60 worth of toys as long as it was not your best make up? Bizarre set of principles you have if I am honest.

    And yes, when the dolls hair is smearing in lipgloss it is going in the bin, have you tried getting vaseline out of a dolls hair?

    And yes, it was said that the make up was removed. We have lots of things that have been covered in pen and make up - if I threw everything away she really would have nothing left. We have a 'no pens upstairs' rules. Do you think she listens?
  • Nicki
    Nicki Posts: 8,166 Forumite
    BM this is exactly how my thread ended up. For some reason, the mere suggestion that you might restrict the intake of an overweight child's food sets some people off, and every aspect of your parenting is then put under the microscope. I also had all the accusations that my son must be being neglected because my daughter was disabled, on the basis of no evidence whatsoever, and that he must be very unhappy, when in fact he is the most well adjusted child I know.

    Unless you are still getting some useful nutritional-advice wise from the thread, in your shoes I'd be inclined to walk away for your own peace of mind. The stuff you are getting now isn't what you asked about and isn't particularly fair or balanced either.

    Good luck with working things out with DD
  • GlasweJen
    GlasweJen Posts: 7,451 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    And they wonder why kids are overweight these days. Some of the answers here have shocked me. How is it a bad thing to ban sweetener from the house? And sweets and chocolates bought only for specific things with none lying around? And offering a child who can't eat a dinner a sandwich instead?

    BMs child is miles out of proportion if you go by the centiles posted, at risk of becoming an obese adult with increased chances of diabetes, stroke, heart problems etc. What parent would stand by and let this happen?

    Sticking her on a healthy eating plan and trying to get a referral from the doctor is exactly right IMO before the bullies get to her and turn her binges into binge and purge sessions.
  • poet123
    poet123 Posts: 24,099 Forumite
    prader willi is NOT all about overeating, so if a person has this other leanring probs will be clear by now, would also have a visible distinct appearance.
    PW kids have an insatiable appetite beyond control. they also pick at the skin around their fingers, were floppy as babies and cant vomit as they dont have this reflex..

    It is not always diagnosed early though is it. Nor did I say it was all about eating problems, I merely mentioned it as something to consider. Is that a problem?
  • balletshoes
    balletshoes Posts: 16,610 Forumite
    Considering Bratz dolls cost at least £12 each, you were *happy* that they ruined £72 worth of toys in an afternoon? Seriously?

    I'd like my child to have more respect for the things that we buy her thanks.

    And you were fine with them ruining £60 worth of toys as long as it was not your best make up? Bizarre set of principles you have if I am honest.

    And yes, when the dolls hair is smearing in lipgloss it is going in the bin, have you tried getting vaseline out of a dolls hair?

    And yes, it was said that the make up was removed. We have lots of things that have been covered in pen and make up - if I threw everything away she really would have nothing left. We have a 'no pens upstairs' rules. Do you think she listens?

    clearly your daughter has issues with the boundaries which are set her, and I personally think thats a bigger issue at age 9 (drawing on furniture, walls, the bathroom etc etc) than her being a little overweight - but of course its sensible to help her deal with the weight issue if she sees it as a problem.

    however, although in your eyes a Bratz doll which has had its hair cut and been plastered with make-up or even permanent marker as make-up may be ruined to you - its not necessarily ruined to a child - they would still play with it once its been re-modelled ;). they might even restyle it some more, and have a great time doing it!
  • enya_ntfc
    enya_ntfc Posts: 261 Forumite
    I used to cut the hair on my Barbies because I thought it was too long and would trim it so I could do more with it.

    I also used to put make up/pen on my dolls, baby wipes are great for this.

    Maybe get her this? http://www.toysrus.co.uk/Toys-R-Us/Learning/Creative-Play/Wild-Colour-Doodle-Bear%280073616%29?cm_mmc=Feed-_-Google%20Base-_-N%2FA-_-Wild%20Colour%20Doodle%20Bear

    I used to have one and I loved it.

    Or? http://www.elc.co.uk/Styling-Head/115131,default,pd.html

    You might already have them but they are designed to be drawn on/make up put on.

    Also going by what mumps said re your son, I am a Brownie leader and have had children with a disability, I'm sure your local Scouts group may be able to help you.

    Is there any chance she is depressed? the food thing and behavioural issues can be that?

    Try some weightwatchers meals and snacks they can be better than Sliiming World.
    The Fields are Green, The sky is blue, the River Nene goes winding through, The market square is Cobblestoned, It shakes the old dears to their bones, A finer town you'll never see, A finer town they'll never be, Big city lights don't bother me, Northampton Town I'm proud to be!
  • adouglasmhor
    adouglasmhor Posts: 15,554 Forumite
    Photogenic
    Whatever happens and whatever choices you make for your kids BM hope it all works out in the end.
    The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head. Terry Pratchett


    http.thisisnotalink.cöm
  • boiler_man
    boiler_man Posts: 377 Forumite
    Healthy eating and encouraging exercise is a good way forward and a good lesson learnt for life. However as the OP also has issues with her son being underweight, a dietitian may be a good port of call to plan the way forward for the whole family and give advice on food required for different age groups. They can suggest simple changes such as wholemeal toast with chocolate spread for breakfast - a thin layer for daughter and a great big thick layer for son.

    I'm not an expert so can't comment on whether it is healthy for a 9 yr old to lose weight, but I know from my own family that children can grow into their weight - a bit of excess weight can "disappear" once they hit a growth spurt.
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

🚀 Getting Started

Hi new member!

Our Getting Started Guide will help you get the most out of the Forum

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 351K Banking & Borrowing
  • 253.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 453.6K Spending & Discounts
  • 244K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 598.9K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 176.9K Life & Family
  • 257.3K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 16.1K Discuss & Feedback
  • 37.6K Read-Only Boards

Is this how you want to be seen?

We see you are using a default avatar. It takes only a few seconds to pick a picture.