Child stealing food, now needs to lose weight - anyone else been in this situation?

blue_monkey_2

I've just weighed my 9 yo DD and (ideally) she needs to lose 18lb. She was always on the 50th centile of her red book - now she is on the 91st.

Everyone just said that it was 'puppy fat' and not to worry about it so I have just left it - however, late last year I found she had been stealing foods from the cupboard after the sweets I bought in the house for the PTA, were stolen and I found all the wrappers hidden down the side of a unit in her bedroom. It was then that I removed all sweets, biscuits and cakes from the house so she could not do it anymore.

I'll be honest, I thought it was my husband taking the biscuits and sweets to work and never said anything to him (like I was going to tell him off for eating it!!). It must have been DD.

We all have to get onto a healthy eating regime now Xmas is past. I go to SW but everyone else eats normally otherwise - I am at the top end of the healthy BMI range but I want to be the lower end rather than the higher end and am aiming to lose a stone (after I put some back on over Xmas). So, incorporating SW 'free' meals into our household meals is not a problem - however, she does have school dinners and then I cannot see what she is eating.

My DD is not a super active child which is where some of the problem arises, she has always been more into crafting/writing/reading. We do have a big garden but they are not interested in being out there when it is cold and wet. We are not like other families and able to get out and do things because my DS has disabilities and I cannot go out unless I have someone to give him 1:1 - and with hubby at work it is just me and the kids. I do not have people who help out with DS, nor can he go to clubs as no-one will have him, so getting out to be active is an issue for us. Even a trip to the park is nigh on impossible so this is another issue I contend with.

Wondered if anyone else had been in this situation at all please and can help me move forward. I do not want to start having her obsessed with body image, just get her back into the normal range - but how do I do this without her knowing that there are things she can no longer eat. When she is at school I am not in control at all of what she eats. Do I need to be blunt with her? I have tried the subtle way of not asking her to eat so much but she still just keeps on going into the fridge and taking it.

Any help would be most appreciated.

My son needs fat in his diet as he is very underweight, I and think my daughter may have a touch of ASD (my son has Autism) but has the opposite problem with food. If I try and stop her eating she has massive meltdowns. There is no way I am going to get help for this aspect - certainly not in the forseeable future - so I need to deal with this now while we are all changing our diets.

Just wondering how I approach this with her and speak to her about it without making such a big issue out of it. While she is very intelligent she seems very immature in her attitude towards her diet and I need to do it in a way she understands and softly, softly is not working. They do healthy eating at school, she knows what foods are good and what are bad but that does not stop her eating the bad in secret. Obviously I am going to stop buying it but I also need her to lose a few lb - even if her weight stays the same so as she grows, her weight evens out, I need to do something before it becomes an even bigger issue than it is now.

Anyone out there that can help me with suggestions and advice, please.

puddy

reading between the lines, and please tell me if this is not correct, but there may be heightened tensions within the home, caring for a child with disabilities is stressful, trying to lose weight is stressful and attention may be on your son more than her in a way which she cannot vocalise (out of necessity clearly). do you get to spend time with her alone? does she have a lot of friends? what does she think of her general health and weight?

poet123

I have to say that at nine she has a few more years before you need worry that her weight is not just "puppy fat". If you want to watch what she is eating at home fine, but I think it is going OTT to try to police her every mouthful at this age, and very probably counter productive.

minimoneysaver

Have you got a wii at home? Maybe she'd enjoy the dance programs or wii fit board. As for the cupboards, the only thing I can suggest is either, don't have the snacks at home or keep the snacks out of reach or in a locked cupboard. I have a cabin (hook) lock on my kitchen/dining room door, which children cannot reach, so it keeps them out when I don't want them in there.

BitterAndTwisted

The helping herself to food is not driven by hunger but something else.

Please do not even dream of thinking or mentioning that there are foods which are forbidden. No foods are intrinsically unhealthy, it's just the quantity that is. Those foods are treats. Treats which are allowed when kids have been running around.

nearlyrich

I think I would just make sure she eats healthily at home ration treats without making a big deal of it and make sure she helps with food prep so you can talk about the relative merits of various foods. Good food versus bad food is a dangerous strategy all food can add to your weight problem if you eat too much of it, not an easy thing to tackle without hurting feelings or starting bad body image issues I hope you find a way to sort this out.

Caroline_a

I would get her interested in looking at the various sports that will be being held at the Olympics and maybe finding taster sessions for her to try some out. Look at the ones that are 'easier' to have a go at - you don't want her running marathons in a taster, but she could have a go at some of the athletics throws events. Alternatively what about a dance class? or cheerleading?

I would approach this from the other side, so, rather than policing what she eats, make sure she is expending lots of energy in the form of exercise.

GlasweJen

Not about your daughter but Barnados volunteers will often take severely disabled kids to clubs like scouts because of the social benefits for them. It would be nice for your son as he'd have something without mum and your daughter can get some special time with you.

sulkisu

Your daughter is within normal weight for her height - it's just that she is at the top end of it (that's what the whole percentile thing means). Instead of focusing on her losing weight, it might be worth considering the way that food is viewed in your house. I'm not having a go, but I am always uncomfortable with the idea that a child can be accused/regarded as 'stealing' food from their own home.
Are there groups, such as brownies/guides/scouts that she could join, or even something like self-defence or martial arts? She will be active without you needing to be there to supervise her.

Ravenlady_2

18lbs is a hell of a lot of weight for a 9 year old, are you aiming to get her back to the 50th centile?

What is her height centile?

Slimming world is great for an adult but maybe you are taking this healthy eating too far, please dont diet your daughter just yet!
She needs to grow without food restrictions and she will be starting to go through puberty soon and will naturally store up fat ready for a growth spurt and change her body shape from a girls to a young womans.

Dieting now is a very bad thing.

cr1mson

As I understand the usual aim when it comes to children is not for them to lose weight but for them to maintain their weight until their height catches up as it were.

At 9 I would just encourage the positive and make it about the family rather than her. Unless it is fruit my 9 year old us not allowed to help themselves they have to ask.

C