Child stealing food, now needs to lose weight - anyone else been in this situation?

Gillyx

I wouldn't say "stealing" but presumably it's taking without permission, as most kids I know have to ask for treats, before having them.

JulieGeorgiana

Gillyx wrote: »

I wouldn't say "stealing" but presumably it's taking without permission, as most kids I know have to ask for treats, before having them.

That's what you think... but they all go through phases of taking food without asking. DS did it only a few months ago, it's how you handle it that's important.

I told him if he asks I would most likely let him have it, but taking it without permission is disrespectful.

Whenever he asks now, I will mostly say yes unless he's had loads already. Sometimes I'll say yes, but after dinner and differ it.

But as long as you don't ban the food completly they don't feel deprived!

I've had a tin of biscuits on free for all for 2 weeks now... still over half full!!!

Gillyx

JulieGeorgiana wrote: »

That's what you think... but they all go through phases of taking food without asking. DS did it only a few months ago, it's how you handle it that's important.

I told him if he asks I would most likely let him have it, but taking it without permission is disrespectful.

Whenever he asks now, I will mostly say yes unless he's had loads already. Sometimes I'll say yes, but after dinner and differ it.

But as long as you don't ban the food completly they don't feel deprived!

I've had a tin of biscuits on free for all for 2 weeks now... still over half full!!!

I'd have been kept in and not allowed out to play for a good few days if my mother had caught me doing anything like that. My parents were strict but with good reasoning, if I was caught doing something I wasn't supposed to I'd be punished, and you can be sure I'd never do it again afterwards.

I'm not that old either, this was maybe 12 years ago? Maybe less than that. I had to ask for treats from the treat box up until I was about 14/15.

Nicki

puddy wrote: »

it never fails to amaze me as to how easily we make assumptions about what children feel without even bothering to check. in both the OP and in your circumstances, the sheer effect of giving the child attention may have been enough to reign in emotional reasons for eating. why are we so keen to ignore the effects of family dynamics on why children misuse (if they are) food? ask the child for goodness sake

And so it starts! DS gets lots of attention thanks and always has done. He is the first born, and because he had a disabled sister, was often taken out 1:1 to do activities with a parent because she wasn't able to join in.

I said he had a poor body image because he did. He compared himself to other children in his class and worked out that only two were fatter than he was, and expressed disquiet about that. Not surprising really, because body size is a huge issue in the playground certainly at his school, and I suspect at most, and to be called fat by your peers is not a term of endearment or gentle teasing usually.

DS overrate, like most of us do, because he liked what he was eating. He didn't gorge on sweets or snacks in the middle of the night, but would have an extra serving of main meals where he could, or seconds at school. Not that different to many adults really. He just needed re-educating about portion sizes.

I got a barrage of comments last time round about how I should be letting him fill up with rice and pasta as this was what growing children need. What was empowering for me and him, was to check what the recommended portion size was for each food group, and stick to it. In the case of rice and pasta a portion size for a child this age is half a measuring cup, and the recommendation is no more than 4 portions in this food group per day. When he ate the quantities which are recommended for children of his age, his weight issue resolved quickly and easily. My experience is that although some children develop a tummy just before they have a growth spurt, children who are overweight for a prolonged period are so because they are taking in too many calories for their age and activity levels, and will not "grow into their weight" unless steps are taken to ensure that they do eat the correct quantities. There is no need to make the child "diet" by eating less than the recommended intake, but nor should you let the child eat more than they need, simply because someone else's child is able to eat unlimited amounts of a food group without gaining weight.

londonsurrey

40 year old aspie here, and chronic grazer. I don't have a problem with weight gain although I do snack continuously.

My grazing foods vary, but they include nuts(peanuts, walnuts, almonds, etc), fruit (pomegranates, mangoes, pears), small portions of meals cooked from scratch(imagine a meal for two, spread over 2-3 days in several portions), etc.

I much prefer these foods to chocolates and crisps, but if I've been lazy and haven't gotten round to stocking up on the foods I prefer, and only have chocolates and crisps to hand, I'll graze on those.

Try having just acceptable foods, healthy snacks and favourite fruit available. She's young, she doesn't know to prepare a grazing hoard for herself. This way, she can still graze, and not be clogging up her arteries.

JulieGeorgiana

Gillyx wrote: »

I'd have been kept in and not allowed out to play for a good few days if my mother had caught me doing anything like that. My parents were strict but with good reasoning, if I was caught doing something I wasn't supposed to I'd be punished, and you can be sure I'd never do it again afterwards.

I'm not that old either, this was maybe 12 years ago? Maybe less than that. I had to ask for treats from the treat box up until I was about 14/15.

Absolutly a child needs to be punished too.

I have a box (a large box cardboard box after Christmas) on top of the wardrobe full of sweets and chocolates! Even my DH asks before he get's anything. Children learn by example... so he decided he should ask too! I find it so funny watching both my boths standing there bouncing up and down saying 'please....'

:rotfl:

claire16c

The little girl I nanny for at the moment, had a similar issue. Its been solved by the following:

Lock on the cupboard where all the treats are kept
Treat food allowed on 1 week day and at Weekend. After dinner
Dessert after dinner on other days is fruit, yoghurt or veg. Same for any snacks before dinner.
Every now and again she gets away with a bit more - like today I let her have some of her xmas sweets.
Its not made a big deal of. The word 'diet' would never be mentioned - and its doesnt need to be. Shes just eating healthily now whereas before she was eating too much. Thats not a diet.

But neither her or her brother would ever get food out without asking me - they often open the fridge door, but thats as far as it gets. She does ask for food a lot, but shes knows its either fruit, veg or yoghurt, and is happy to sit and eat a plate of cucumber and carrot!

Shes only 5 and used to talk about being 'fat' so Im sure by 9 a child would be well aware of their body shape. Im not saying thats a good thing but its life!

Gillyx

JulieGeorgiana wrote: »

Absolutly a child needs to be punished too.

I have a box (a large box cardboard box after Christmas) on top of the wardrobe full of sweets and chocolates! Even my DH asks before he get's anything. Children learn by example... so he decided he should ask too! I find it so funny watching both my boths standing there bouncing up and down saying 'please....'

:rotfl:

Oh I agree, and if they don't know they're doing wrong then it's wrong to punish too. I suppose it's all about boundaries and what you as a parent are happy/content with.

I know as a child if my mum didn't put those restrictions on me, I'd have sat in front of the fridge and gorged until I was sick (she obviously knew that too )

My parents would always follow through with punishments/threats so I knew to take them seriously Even as a teenager if they told me I was grounded, I was grounded. No amount of pleading and whinging on my part would change their minds, whereas the majority of my friends would be told they were grounded and be allowed out 3 hours later.

meritaten

claire16c wrote: »

The little girl I nanny for at the moment, had a similar issue. Its been solved by the following:

Lock on the cupboard where all the treats are kept
Treat food allowed on 1 week day and at Weekend. After dinner
Dessert after dinner on other days is fruit, yoghurt or veg. Same for any snacks before dinner.
Every now and again she gets away with a bit more - like today I let her have some of her xmas sweets.
Its not made a big deal of. The word 'diet' would never be mentioned - and its doesnt need to be. Shes just eating healthily now whereas before she was eating too much. Thats not a diet.

But neither her or her brother would ever get food out without asking me - they often open the fridge door, but thats as far as it gets. She does ask for food a lot, but shes knows its either fruit, veg or yoghurt, and is happy to sit and eat a plate of cucumber and carrot!

Shes only 5 and used to talk about being 'fat' so Im sure by 9 a child would be well aware of their body shape. Im not saying thats a good thing but its life!

Its not made a big deal of?????????????????
food is locked away, she is allowed one treat (what exactly is 'treat 'food'?) a week and you talk of 'allowing her some of HER xmas Sweets?'
sounds like its made a VERY big deal of to me!

cannyscot_2

'allowing her some of HER xmas Sweets?'


Do you just let your kids eat their christmas sweets as they want?? MIne would eat nothing else! Don't most folk restrict them in some way?