Child stealing food, now needs to lose weight - anyone else been in this situation?

blue_monkey_2

poet - I just read up on prader willi, DD has funny inturned knees - this is why she is not really interested in sports as she cannot keep up with others. Also, she cannot get her clothes off unless they are loose so when she has a top on where you lift your arms to get it off, she cannot do this and I still have to help her undress.

I just assumed that she was just not as agile as other children and this is the way she was.

However, she does not have any of the other symptoms on the page as a newborn so I do not think it is that. Now the other question is, do I make an appointment for the doctors but without her - I do not want her getting issues from the things I am going to see them about. Do they let you do that? I know from experience with my son they just refer you on elsewhere.

spender

Reading the OP post I am sad to see that it is weight obsessive and obviously charts etc seem to play an important part. I imagine these charts are studied rigidly. The OP is at the top end (presumably not overweight to an extent) but wants to lose weight. Please don't control rigidly what a 9 year old eats or not eats. My son when I cleaned his bedroom managed probably to eat all his Christmas chocolate in one hit and I often find wrappers which I know he has sneaked away. I weigh this up with whether I want him to feel real bad or put it down to children, as I am sure we all "borrowed" food.

I refused to have my children weighed etc at school as I felt at such a young age it would store up problems to be so body imaged.

I was a podgy child with a massive pot belly but grew up to be tiny!

Errata

Clearly your son takes up a lot of your attention. You're now paying attention to your daughter because she's stuffing herself with rubbish. How much of your attention would she get if the food problem didn't exist? How much did she get before the food problem started?

peachyprice

blue_monkey wrote: »

We talk about healthy eating, not losing weight or being skinny, just that we have to eat the right foods and that there will be no bad ones in the house.

Be very very careful labelling foods as 'bad' and banning them. You are setting yourself up for trouble in the future when she has a little independence and is able to obtain these 'bad' foods for herself, buy buying them or stealing them.

And cheese isn't a bad food for a child, as long as it's not being eaten by the kilo. Cheese might be bad in your Slimming World world, but for a growing child it isn't, she still needs a varied diet that includes fats, sugars and carbs, just in smaller quantities than she has been allowed to in the past.

poet123

I would phone the Doctor and ask I expect it varies from surgery to surgery. Or you could take her with you and ask her to wait outside the doc's room while you go in alone first, then you can speak to the doctor without her hearing.

Gemmy_2

My sister is over weight and realisitically always has been.. (shes 13 now).
Two things getting her active:
Trampeline + the wii

She loves the dancing games on the wii.

blue_monkey_2

JulieGeorgiana wrote: »

Absolutly a child needs to be punished too.

She never learns from ay punishment I give her.

I guess it sounds like I am exaggerating but I can give her time outs, confiscate her toys, stop her watching TV, stop her going to clubs, she has been banned from parties she has been invited to - and still the behaviour continues.

If I punished her for it, she would be back doing it again as soon as my back is turned.

I cannot even being to put into words how frustrating this is.

claire16c

poet123 wrote: »

Food is not the same as money in a family home though is it? The child is five years old and in order to ensure she does as she is asked a lock is required? Strange way of parenting. As you say, what if it is money next time, does everything have to be locked up? How far do you take that? I am sorry but if a lock is needed to ensure a five year old does as she is told there is a real issue.

Surely building up an element of self control is preferable to locking things away? In my house my kids could always get a biscuit after dinner, but they were not available in such quantities that they could go mad, so they self regulated. If there were 4 cakes they all got one each, and asked each other who had had theirs, they did not just eat what was there.

I wasnt looking after her when it was happening but I was told she was taking food - which was of course always chocolate, biscuits etc, when she wasnt supposed to be. So they put a catch on. Now she understands she cant just help herself to food when she wants - of any kind. So the lock isnt actually needed anymore but it must have been at one point.

She doesnt take other things like money because she knows not to. But she has a real thing about food for some reason, and asks for it constantly. So when she was told no, she clearly decided to take it anyway. And there is quite a lot of treats in the cupboard so if she was able to help herself, there would be a lot to take - and she hardly ever seems to get to a point where she isnt hungry. So she probably would eat what was there!

mountainofdebt

Interesting enough there's a programme on ITV on Thursday about children starving themselves to death in their quest to be thin.


OP - if you want my opinion I think the SW is fine for adults but not for children - there's a reason why children (generally) aren't allowed to become members in their own right of slimming clubs without medical permission.

Your daughter can't lose weight by eating less alone - she has to increase her activity level. can you not borrow a wii to see if she likes the activities on offer ? Personally I would try the sport plus games.

blue_monkey_2

claire16c wrote: »

You dont need to reduce your childs food intake - unless they are eating too much food in the first place!




If she has a strop, let her have one. I do - hence the whole school knowing of my DD now legendary tantrums - I think the whole street hears them!! :rotfl: I have excellent switch off ears, I have had lots of practice thus far...

Theres nothing wrong with letting her have a biscuit though - just not 10 of them in one go!

Herein lies the problem - she cannot stop at just one, it has to be more and more and more and if I say no, she cannot accept that.

Can I just say though, when I removed them from the house they never even asked for them..... It really works. However, I want her to understand, I want to be able to keep them in the cupboard and not have her take them. it is just very frustrating when she is very clever academically not to understand this.