MSE Newborn to 1 year Baby Club 1

lovecrafting

im still reading back so am quoting as i go allong.

dizziblonde wrote: »

Latest update from the maternity ward from hell... she took overnight an entire bottle of breast milk (I'm expressing in the hope of restarting bf when she gets older and better at feeding - basically attempting to keep my options open a bit) twice. Then we dropped back a bit but we're still taking 3/4 on most feeds... doc's on about removing her feeding tube tomorrow and sending us home on Sunday which is A Blooming Terrifying thought - they didn't DO how to handle ones in XXSmall in ante-natal classes... do I take her out and about like normal, or do I hide away until she's big enough to be equivalent of a term baby? No idea on that one at all! Started trying to transition her onto the bottles we have at home as well - just to make sure we don't get home and have to hunt down some obscure brand immediately with a starving baby to hand.

Didn't get out and about today - they've had NO transitional care worker on and been a staff member down all day so no one to help MIL with feeds so we could escape for a few hours - on top of which we've had some midwife from like the 1950s who's spent all day yanking curtains back on everyone who didn't have baps out whenever she went past, and the world's loudest receptionist, coupled with the world's loudest midwife - so there's been naff all patient confidentiality at all when everything's yelled full blast from the nurses' station... hope to god the night shift are nicer when they come on (the utter angels were on last night - including one who's had a baby in transitional care herself so knows how hellish it is - but I know they're off tonight).

As for making life easy - I've got mirrored stocks of changing stuff up and downstairs anyway - including changing mats and the like... just seemed to make sense to set it up that way. I THINK I was very organised when I last was home - got a few bits to site in-situ and set up (like moving the moses basket into our room, bringing the pram downstairs and the like) but god knows what mess I'm going back to after so long of relying on people to bring things in for me.

Brestmilk:
please please please do not feel pressured into epressing every three hours to put it down a tube, if you feel stopping feeding like this will save your sanity a little bit or ease off the pressure then go with your gut hun. i stopped brestfeeding isla at 4 days because i was constantly either expressing, showing milk down a tube or crying.(plus it was prolonging the jaundice and she was loosing too much weight) im not saying stop breastfeeding at all but if your gut is saying stop then stop.

you dont need any obscure brand. the only milk that is not recomended for a 43 week baby is sma. cow and gate 1 is what they reccomend in hospital now for preterm babies that are not breast fed.

re the transitional care. does baby have a neo natal nurse and you have a midwife? this is what is supposed to happen with babies that are less than 36 weeks. ask the night staff if you can get a room you should have been offered this because baby is ng fed. if you wasnt offered then you need to ask for one hun, also regarding the confidentiality, once you come out COMPLAIN please please complain because other mothers will be going thru it aswel and theres nothing worse than people discussing you and your baby when people can hear.

happydays77 wrote: »

Dizzi - it's good to hear from you but I'm sorry you are still going through this with the hospital. It sounds like an awful ward where they pick and choose whether to ignore or mither you depending on how they feel.
The most important thing is that Erin and yourself are well and it's good news that they are thinking of removing the tube and sending you home as that must mean Erin is thriving.
As for you, I think you are doing amazingly well. It will be hard when you are home but you will manage and your OH will be there to support you. Did you say he had paternity leave?
I can't help with regards to what you should do or how you should treat a premmie baby but I'm sure someone will be along who does. Lovecrafting is a bit of an oracle on this subject and I'm sure she would offer you advice.
In the meantime, we are all here for you and feel free to vent away.
xxx

lol not quite an oracle but have been here four times now. i think isla is only a week older. altho she is a right chunky monkey now at 4lb 14, i know it dosent seem much but omg she looks huge

dizziblonde wrote: »

I'm currently anaemic according to them (my iron level's only a little bit low) and I'm flipping well refusing their iron tablets - not only is it more unnecessary mithering - but my argument is that it'll resolve itself with diet given time since I've never had iron problems in my life - and if they actually served food with some nutritional value (or indeed molecular structure) - I wouldn't be having the problem anyway.... I feel fine in myself though.

Getting really cross with people though - MIL sitting there going "oooh she's such a good baby - she doesn't cry" and I want to scream "no she doesn't cry but it's not a good thing - she didn't cry cos she was so jaundiced and drowsy, and she doesn't cry much because she's still so small she's just developing and growing - that doesn't make her A Good Quiet Baby - it makes her ill!"

i am getting cross at the same thing, people think ohh she will cry when she is hungry, or cold, or wants something... no they bleedin dont my alarm clock wakes me up not my baby. once the jaundice goes away (it takes weeks and weeks, isla was 3 weeks yesturday and still has it) it will improve.

please please remember hun, it i only a few weeks it ill be like this for. things do get better i promice you.

lovecrafting

dizziblonde wrote: »

STILL no transitional care worker...

Farcical night - when they DID have one on she was really creepy and stank of cigarettes. Every time I went to feed baby she had burnt up so much of her last feed that testing her stomach contents to make sure her feeding tube was still in place was coming up empty - so I kept having to buzz for help. Now I've always been told nothing above 5.0 PH is acceptable - but this woman was telling me that the strip coming up almost black was ok to feed her on (when I could SEE the tube had come out slightly) and wasn't happy when I said I wasn't comfortable feeding her with that tube since I wasn't confident it was sited properly.

So that was tube number one fitted.

Next feed - it had come out (was never properly fitted anyway)

Next feed - again - couldn't get a good aspiration to check her stomach - call for help, midwife comes and tries and can't - so says she has to re-site the tube again... tube number 3. She still can't get some stomach contents (again, I'm fairly sure she's running on empty by feed time - but what do my instincts and knowledge of my child count for?)... so says to start feeding her and she'll ring for advice "because I don't know much about these transition children"... so I start on her bottle while she rings neo-natal... and I get an utterly hysterically loud (no privacy or confidentiality here) "Ok I'll run and go and try and stop mum" - so now I feel like I've possibly broken my baby and caused permanent damage... we have to go down to neo-natal for someone down there to fit ANOTHER tube... what number are we on to now?

And then I get to glance at Erin's notes - and it's a litany of griping about mum whining on about this damned nasal tube.

I'm actually worried they'll kill her with incompetence over this tube soon - especially with NO staff member on with a real knowledge of these transitional care babies again.

Waiting for the pediatrician to come around whenever he does - to see what he says - but she's still not taking full feeds away from the tube so I'm very unsure if he tries to pull it out - especially with no transitional support staff on to offer guidance, proper guidance from this century, about how to proceed and adapt her feeds in the light of it all.

why are you aspirating? have they ng trained you?if not DO NOT O IT tell them until you are trained your not touching that tube.

you have not broken your baby. she is a strong baby and you wont have broken her, what concerns me is if she isnt used to transitional children !!!!!! is she doing on transitional care.

what did the consulatant say?

dizziblonde wrote: »

Day 3 with no transitional worker...

They took the tube out last night but she's running under the amount of food they'll be wanting her to take so I anticipate bad news when the doctors appear on the ward to be honest - re-tubing her is going to kill me if they go down that route.

i hope it went well today and they didnt re do the ng. if she is below the minimum requirments and the tube has been re sited more than a few times then why dont you have a nicu nurse with you instead of a midwife?

but most of all how do you feel?

im not on as much as i would like because of my husband being in the hospital still but my pm box is linked to my email so if you need anything at all. then please either ask one of the people on faebook to post in the newborn thread wilst tagging me and i will see it or pm me. even if its a 3am omfg i have an early baby.

dizziblonde

Latest is - tube came out last night (doctor concluded we needed to give her the chance to fly with it)... evening was a very long haul with her not taking all of what she should do, then taking it, then not taking it and me getting scared they'd re-tube her... and then she took off like mad during the day - and has become a normal baby - she cries for a food on HER schedule (not the NHS's!), and chomps like a looney - the doc's happy with the feeds she's been taking over the course of the day and basically, as long as she gains or has held weight in the morning - they'll let us go home tomorrow!

As for the ward - I don't think having transition mums isolated dotted about randomly through a maternity ward's appropriate, I don't think having no facility for dads to stay and be able to do the odd overnight slog to spread the burden is fair on women... I think that how I was treated when I was uncomfortable doing the tube aspirations and was bullied into doing that part of the tube work (I'd been shown how to do it - it was just the one part that I really didn't want to risk doing myself) by one particularly evil transition worker was wrong - sorry if you've got a case load sweetie - but that's not my problem when I'm one of your cases too.

The confidentiality issue - one that seriously needs to be addressed - I spent that first night lying in the dark hearing newborns cry and mums comfort their bundles of joy, alone, and just listening to nurses go on about their nightmare new patient who needed keeping in line etc etc... it was me - and now they're all over the moon to see me probably go home tomorrow - not bad for the nasty resistant patient.

The bit that hurts the most - is hearing women brought up from delivery all night, hearing them be told congratulations and how well they did... not one person told us congratulations that night, not one person told me I'd done well (and I did the whole thing up until she got stuck on two paracetamol and gas and air)... it's like you don't matter - you're the uncool kid at the party or something. Another one's just come up now - been given her cot card and all the mementoes from when her baby was born - I got... well one nice nurse in neo-natal gave me the blood pressure monitor cuff from when Erin was hooked up to it... and the goggles from her time under the light lamps - those are the memories I get - of her time being distressed, naked and blindfolded - and I'm angry and jealous over that. Feels like there was no joy in her coming into the world and her arrival wasn't celebrated by anyone... and that's just so blooming wrong.

I'm still scarred for life by the whole experience - I don't think I'll ever get over it all, I don't think I'll ever dare have another child to be honest. I couldn't go through all of this again. There's no appreciation of how relentlessly stressful caring for a child on a maternity ward longer-term than a day or two is... while they claim to monitor you and make you feel "cared for" - it consists of a doctor comign round, asking if you want to be referred to mental health for stress - and not accepting that it's just a relentless stressful environment that would wear anyone down... funnily the same doc was on tonight - and saw the change in me when I was told we may get to go home - amazingly now she seems to have accepted what I told her - that I wasn't depressed or stressed but I was stuck in a horrid situation that was the only cause of it all... until then she'd concluded I was just a raving fruitloop in denial about it!

Sorry - hijacked the thread a bit and got a bit emo-rambly... just cross fingers all and pray that she's become a chubber overnight for her weigh in tomorrow!

If we get to go home - I'm making a point of leaving the long way to the carpark - going out the main entrance, past the door to the delivery suite that is the source of so many bad thoughts as the start of the nightmare that was her birth - I don't know why - but I have this massive massive need to do it that way, with MY child in a pram, as some form of closure or something I guess... I won't leave out of the side door - that feels like being ashamed of what Erin is - and she's such a little fighter and a miracle - how could I feel that about her?

*Ro*

Dizzi - (( big hugs )) will be keeping my toes crossed for lo tomorrow and hope that she gains overnight. It may be a little late but well done and the fact that she is getting stronger is all down to you x glad to see lovecrafting is posting and know that jannine is helpful with her experience with poppy and koalamummy is helpful too. You are not alone.

Mozzy - second that about twigpig x hope she is getting on alright.

Bluebell- Scott was 3 months on 17th :eek: dont know where the time goes they are changing so fast !!

Lovecrafting - sorry to hear hubby in hospital Tc x

Survived the mils she did feed Scott and cuddle him.

Finally accepting that there is no point trying to express anymore and LO won't feed so its curtains, but trying not to dwell on it.

Tc all

Ro xx

Molly41

Dizziblonde - please give feedback regarding your care at every stage. Perhaps when you feel stronger ask for a meeting with the head of midwifery and give your version of events. Request a de-brief with the head -whereby she goes through your notes with you and you explain how you were feeling at every stage. You can have help and representation to do this and it might help you come to terms with events. It will also give feedback about the service and the midwives so they might improve their practice. I ask this as a retired midwife who is horrified to read what you went through x

I really hope you get home tomorrow and settle into life with Erin xx

*Ro*

Bluebell1000 wrote: »

My iron levels were 13ish during pregnancy then down to 9 after birth. I had the transfusion which left me feeling great for a few hours but it wore off again really fast and when discharged my levels were still only 9.3. But at least I could stand up for a few mins without feeling faint... so they still made me have lots of iron pills!

They said they don't normally do a transfusion at those iron levels, but I was feeling too rough to avoid it Kept mentioning the person down the hall whose levels were 7.4 and she hadn't had a transfusion... well that was lovely for her, but it really didn't help me. Though possibly if I'd been fed more than 4 slices of toast in the 36 hours from going into labour (where I couldn't eat) followed by a night on the ward, I might not have been so wobbly. Gah, rubbish hospitals. If I do this again I'll refuse to be transferred after the home birth unless it's a proper emergency.

It's exactly 1 year in our house today, and 3 months after Elliot was born

Hugs Dizzi x

Bluebell - seems everyone is very different with how their body tolerates iron deficiency. Interesting to compare experiences though and hope its all normal now as it can make you feel very pants x

lovecrafting

fingers crossed you get home tomorow with her, if you need anything at all then please please just let us know.

Gillyx

*Ro* wrote: »

Dizzi - (( big hugs )) will be keeping my toes crossed for lo tomorrow and hope that she gains overnight. It may be a little late but well done and the fact that she is getting stronger is all down to you x glad to see lovecrafting is posting and know that jannine is helpful with her experience with poppy and koalamummy is helpful too. You are not alone.

Mozzy - second that about twigpig x hope she is getting on alright.

Bluebell- Scott was 3 months on 17th :eek: dont know where the time goes they are changing so fast !!

Lovecrafting - sorry to hear hubby in hospital Tc x

Survived the mils she did feed Scott and cuddle him.

Finally accepting that there is no point trying to express anymore and LO won't feed so its curtains, but trying not to dwell on it.

Tc all

Ro xx

You have done great with the feeding Ro, so don't feel bad. xxx

*Ro*

Gillyx wrote: »

You have done great with the feeding Ro, so don't feel bad. xxx

Thanks Gilly - still having a blub about it though, Scott predictably woke early as not enough naps yesterday so hungry early. Have still put boob in to see if he would suck and he did have taken it out as I know I shouldn't torture myself I know you had a bf nightmare so know I need to just get over it as its not the end if the world but am finding it very hard.

Always_Alone

Morning ladies, i was dipping in to ask whether any of your bubbas were poorly after the 4 mth injections?

My lb had his friday lunchtime and was very clingy for the rest of the day. He was then sick twice before bed after a bottle. He fed fine during the night and yesterday morning but since yesterday lunchtime, i've been really struggling to get anything down him and he has been a lot sleepier than normal. He's alert and fine when awake and doesn't seem to have a temp but i'm at the end of my tether with the crying/screaming/fussing at feeds and lack of sleep (i'm worried about him being sick at night so have had virtually no sleep )

Has anyone else had an 'off-colour' bubba after jabs? How long did it last? I'm thinking to give him until later today and then maybe ringh NHS direct.

My OH's away at the mo so i am on my own. I feel so low with 3 nights of no sleep and i'm scared that i will end up losing my temper and shouting at bubs even though i know its not his fault Came very close last night and i'm feeling even worse this morning