MSE Newborn to 1 year Baby Club 1

*Ro*

Sleepcurve Moses mattress there are crib etc ones too
http://www.argos.co.uk/m/static/Product/partNumber/7326213/Trail/searchtext%3ESLEEPCURVE.htm

*Ro*

Jedi - sympathies with the sleep ! Hope u get yourself stocked up with the teething powders/bonjela etc just in case

dizziblonde

With the flat head thing - Erin's was awful - a combination of her being prem and forceps mangling her poor bonce to start off with, and her being incredibly flipping stubborn when you'd try to reposition her head while sleeping (I spent months pretty much sleeping trying to hold her head down before realising it was just getting ridiculous - she won that battle of wills)! She literally looked from the back like you'd chiselled a chunk of her skull away in a straight line all across.

It's starting to round out now - I don't think it'll ever be 100% though but it's the sort of thing you only notice if you're their parent... for us it's been a combination of time off her back (not so much tummy time as she loathed that - and the second she learnt how to roll off her back it was like "screw you - I'm not playing this game", but she likes to do things like lie on your chest and the like), time not in baby bouncer/cot/pushchair (we wore her a lot in a carrier until my pelvis packed up), and we got a clevamama pillow from Kiddicare which I think has helped a fair bit (and was cheaper than the sleepcurve full mattresses) - plus her just getting more and more mobile seems to be starting to work on it. She's never going to be able to carry off the Sinead O'Connor look I don't think - but I think most people have crap shaped heads that are hidden by their hair to some extent.

With the helmets - they're not funded at all by the NHS - you have to go privately and they're between two and three grand (I've heard different figures from different places). I feel awful that if we'd had the money - we'd have done that - but we didn't at all, and we had a roof literally falling apart around our ears that we had to spend the spare cash we had on... it's why you see the stories in the papers a lot about it - from different sets of parents trying to fundraise for helmets for their kids.

As for the MIL - there's no point in me saying anything - she just talks in a steamroller way over anything I have to say - like I say - she bodily shoved me out of the way of the baby's first bath and I'll never get that memory back now as anything other than me shoved in the corner of the room looking at everyone else's backs... and she really does try to deny the whole prematurity thing ever happened - after her hystrionics in the hospital when she first saw the baby - she's got carefully selected photos up in her house... none in the incubator (so we're not worthy of the photos of us holding our new baby when we first held her), none with her and her feeding tube in - it's like she wants to obliterate it from history - and it's something I'm utterly determined Erin will NOT grow up feeling that there's anything "wrong" in how she was born and her life started (if it kills me).

The moses basket thing really is bothering me - we can't even easily drive to theirs to get it - it's £200 in fuel there and back - but now she's making such a fuss about getting it back to us and how we'll have to wait... yet if we look at how early I delivered last time - February isn't that unlikely a bet. She's now going to unpack all the clothes I've bagged up to bring them down and again, that really bugs me as I had them organised and I don't want her raking through them - but I'm funny like that... I know I'm slightly irrational but I always am when people go through stuff that's ours - and it's freaking me out completely that I'm 22 weeks gone - and I've got NO clothes at all here or ready or anything - I don't know how long my pelvis will hold up for me to carry baskets of washing up and down easily, I need to work sorting things out around baby naps anyway - and I just can't get anything under control.

Feel like I'm just an incubator for the lot of them to be honest, sick to death of Erin being dragged on Skype ever week like some kind of zoo exhibit, REALLY annoyed about the comments about the scan photo and any time I dare say anything other than yes or no... she laid into me about me using the word "fart" while the baby was asleep - it's not HER judgement call to make what language we use anyway, and then she chucked a strop that we'd bought a car seat months ago because "I was going to buy that for Christmas" - no "do you want or do you mind" just assumptions... I'm just utterly sick of it. She's got my mum cross and jealous because she sent an Xmas card going on about how she couldn't wait to see the baby again on X date - so my mother assumed we were going to go up there and not go to see her - it's just constant - I literally get shoved out of the way into a corner and picked at.

Oh and I've had months of lecturing about how I have to make sure that the baby grows up liking fish (I hate the stuff unless it's marketed by Captain Birdseye in breadcrumbs) - loads and loads of jibes about how I'll make her a picky eater (SIL is the pickiest creature I know so it's not as if her ethos achieved perfection either) - meaning I've got myself into an utter tizz making loads of fish based recipes for the baby which the baby doesn't like, and then I'm panicking that she's going to think I'm actively setting out to brainwash the baby into being some kind of evil fish and mushroom hating monster (there's not much I don't eat - but fish and mushrooms are about it - I don't think that makes me an unreasonable person)... but however hard I've tried - she doesn't enjoy the stuff.

It's just stuff like that constantly - I feel like alternately punching the wall and crying after every skype every weekend.

Oh and they're ALWAYS plotting and arranging stuff behind my back - like this visit this weekend - I was given NO say in the matter, nothing about if it was convenient or if I had plans during the day those days - just an "I'll be there around 4 ish" from both her and hubby... and he'll always always always side with her.

If we had the spare money I'd just go out and BUY another moses basket so I didn't have that to worry about - as it is, with the bags of clothes she's deemed we actually have any valid need to have - the baby's going to have no socks, minimal babygros, no cardigans or sock-ons because I know they were packed slightly out of size - I've been explaining this for weeks but no one's listening. Oh well - it'll give the hospital something to ring social services about again when we have nothing to dress the child in!

Just venting because there's no one here who wants to hear what I'm saying... asked hubby to mention things last time she was with us and doing the shoving out of the way (she never volunteers to DO the nappies or whatever - just sticks her body and elbow in the way between me and the baby so I'm like some Victorian domestic servant carrying on in the background with the chores - I even tried to make some joke about how she was going to end up covered in poo if she wasn't careful - she didn't take the hint then and sadly the baby reserves her targetted peeing for health visitors)... it's hit the point where I panic if I have to feed the baby when she's here - in case it's a feed she fusses about (she's getting to be a nosey thing lately so sometimes she's distracted and feeds are harder going) and starts melodramatically going on about how the baby "says oooh I really hate that mummy" and stuff.

Then I have my own mother to deal with - who can be a similar can of worms - but at least you can turn around to your own parent easier and tell them to quit being a wazzock.

Elelyn

*Ro* wrote: »

Sleepcurve Moses mattress there are crib etc ones too
http://www.argos.co.uk/m/static/Product/partNumber/7326213/Trail/searchtext%3ESLEEPCURVE.htm

Ooh, this is interesting. Theo is in a cotbed but I see they do mattresses for these too. I'll definitely think about getting one - they seem expensive but I don't care if it helps his little head. I think I'll make an appointment with our GP tomorrow too to see what he says about the flat head as I think it's got quite bad now.

*Nutella*

Elelyn wrote: »

Does anyone have any experience of flat head syndrome? Theo has got it really noticeably on one side of his head as he always sleeps with his head on that side. I asked the Health Visitor about it this week but she wasn't particularly helpful. I have been told that you can buy special cushions/pillows to help but I'm not sure if they're any good once the head has already become flat. The NHS website suggests that the problem may correct itself once he starts sitting up and moving around more but I don't see how it can go back to being rounded once it has become flattened? I don't want him to have a funny shaped head forever :-(

Oh, and Nutella (I think it was you who mentioned it) the giraffe is back! I can't even remember why I removed it now.

Yay, the giraffe is back! :j

My LO's head was quite flat at the back, and still is to an extent, but it has improved a lot. OH was particularly concerned, so we did quite a bit of research and had her assessed by specialists, as like you, we found the HV pretty useless. The NHS don't consider it a medical condition, so have limited expertise and don't provide treatment.

I'd recommend contacting Technology in Motion (www.technologyinmotion.com) - they specialise in flat head syndrome and were extremely helpful over the phone, advising us of things we could do to try to improve the situation. They also sent us info via e-mail and did an assessment of LO at their clinic in Wimbledon. They have clinics across the country, and the assessments are free of charge and no-obligation. They ask a number of questions, do some measurements etc. and tell you how severe (or not) your LO's case is. They can also do a more detailed scan, and provide corrective helmets for severe cases. These cost £2000, are custom made and are worn 23 hours a day for 3-6 (or 9?) months, depending on the individual case. The assessments can take place from when your LO is 4 months old, and they recommend doing it sooner rather than later, as corrective action is (obviously) more effective whilst babies' heads are still quite soft.

There are plenty of things you can do yourself though - tummy time is important, as is trying to get your LO to sleep in a position that doesn't put pressure on the flat part of their head. We have a Clevamama Clevafoam pillow (you can get them on Amazon, they do a baby version and a toddler one - you need the baby one when your LO is younger than 12 months), which are proven to reduce cranial pressure by 50%. She has been using it in her bed, in her pram, on her playmat, basically everywhere, since she was about 3 months old. I've also heard good things about the mattress that Ro mentioned, and they may or may not be better when it's the side of the head that's flat rather than the back.

After the initial assessment by Technology in Motion, when she was classified as 'severe' and a helmet was recommended, we decided to wait for a month and do everything we could to try and avoid the helmet. They talked us through what to do, and booked us in for another assessment and scan five weeks later. We cancelled this appointment because we were satisfied that LO's head had improved enough for us to not want the helmet.

The NHS will tell you that most babies improve naturally as they get older and spend more time on their tummy/sitting/crawling, and in many cases this is indeed true (and in our case it was). It can correct itself because babies' heads are still very soft until they're a year old, so any pressure put on their heads can affect their shape. But although it can correct itself, that doesn't mean it always does, so if you're concerned I'd contact a specialist now whilst Theo's still very young rather than rely on the NHS - if nothing else, you get to talk things through and get some advice on what you can do.

I hope this helps - I'm no expert, but if you have any other questions please ask or PM me and I will do my best to help.

PS: Oh, and as luck would have it, our little girl has lots and lots of dark curly hair, which will hopefully cover up any remaining flatness as she gets older...

katiechoc_2

Lol at Aiden preferring the reindeer to the big man himself! To be fair I bet when you're teeny a huge guy in a red suit with his face hidden in a beard is pretty terrifying! Not on the same level as Ronald McDonald though, whoever thought that character was a good idea is round the bend IMO.

Dizzi I've no advice on mil I'm afraid, other than a completely honest and open conversation with her and/or OH. On neutral territory maybe, and you could always make a list of things you want to discuss to try and help you keep focused and calm? Easy for me to say though.

Hope you get somewhere with the doc or nutellas suggestions on the flathead elelyn.

I'm off to bed now, hope everyone gets a decent night.

katiechoc_2

Meant to ask you blw mummies - have you given your LOs jacket spud, and if so how have you given it? I gave g some earlier that I'd cut into wedges and let cool, but as it cooled the skin lost its crispiness and went kind of limp. The first bit I gave with the skin on which he seemed to find much easier to hold but I panicked when I saw he had this flap of spud skin in his mouth once he'd sucked the insides off it. So I peeled the rest of it. Think if it was crispy he'd have been ok but can't see how to cool it without it going limp.

Jeez I do over think things don't I? It's a jacket spud for Petes sake :rotfl:

Gillyx

I just him it in wedges Katie. He always coughs the skin back up lol

turtlemoose

Ooh im nervous about skins too katie. Haven't had the couraage to give pear or tomato with skin on.

katiechoc_2

Thanks gilly. Me too turtle, I peel apples too going to have to be brave at some point I guess.

Better night for us again, fed at 11 and 5 and dummy at 1. So had almost 4 hours uninterrupted sleep!

Got a load to do today - tidy, clean, finish writing Xmas cards, order last few presents, sort out photos to get printed, do an online tesco shop, sort out food for the week...and keep the monkey happy! Oh and clean the car ready for when the car seat gets delivered later. Phew!