what would you do if!!!!!!

carefullycautious

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Speak for yourself and those you know. I have never had conversations such as you describe and would be very embarrassed and uncomfortable to hear anyone talking in such a way.

Blimey you're a bundle of laughs.

EllaBeagle

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

the irony being that quite a few posters who are saying this man is the scum of the earth are the same posters saying that the op should have him grovel and buy his way into an apology by treating her.

so not ok to talk about paying for sex, but perfectly ok to pimp yourself out for an apology. right.

Where in the thread does it say men are scum of the earth?

EllaBeagle

onlyroz wrote: »

I haven't read everything here, but I agree that there is a difference between saying you find somebody attractive, and saying that you think they would agree to being paid for sex. I think this man has some serious grovelling to do.

While I am aware that it is not uncommon for both men and women to have conversations like this, I certainly would not want to associate with somebody who wanted to discuss which sexual positions they would like to employ with an attractive co-worker. If I found out that anybody had been discussing me in this way I would most certainly peruse a sexual harassment suit.

However, I do think it slightly ridiculous to suggest that nobody finds anybody else attractive once they have settled down in a relationship - but these thoughts should be kept firmly in your head.

Ah so if there is absolutely nothing wrong with finding someone else attractive, fantasising whatever then why should the thoughts be kept firmly in your head??

EllaBeagle

carefullycautious wrote: »

Blimey you're a bundle of laughs.

No its called having morals.

carefullycautious

EllaBeagle wrote: »

No its called having morals.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

onlyroz

EllaBeagle wrote: »

Ah so if there is absolutely nothing wrong with finding someone else attractive, fantasising whatever then why should the thoughts be kept firmly in your head??

I mean that having thoughts about somebody is not the same as acting on them, or discussing with your mate what you would like to do the person.

victory

EllaBeagle wrote: »

No its called having morals.

or maybe pompous?

Torry_Quine

carefullycautious wrote: »

Blimey you're a bundle of laughs.

It's about having standards and not being derogatory and insulting about another person.

Lunar_Eclipse

Peater wrote: »

Torry, that's your opinion and that's fine.

Having worked in male dominated places where 'this' is the standard banter, you have 2 choices. 1) Play along (even if you don't particually agree with or enjoy it) and keep good relations with the people you work with - or - 2) You can stand up and say 'This is derogatory to women, i won't have any part of this, you disgust me' and isolate yourself from the rest of your office/site.

I'm not condoning it, i'm just trying to say that the OP should'nt cry over spilt milk.

I think there's a third option which is not to make any comment about the banter (who would say 'you disgust me' to a work colleague?) nor participate in the banter. That's what DH and I would do for certain.

I wonder what kind of offices some people on here work in? I can imagine this type of sexual banter in a staff room or warehouse, but have never heard anything close to this in any office environment. The pub at lunch time possibly, but never 'at work!' It just wouldn't be tolerated, in my experience. DH says the same and is in a completely different industry.

Lunar_Eclipse

carefullycautious wrote: »

Blimey you're a bundle of laughs.

These kind of comments surprise me. Do people really think others are no fun because they don't come across, support or participate in the language being discussed here, is it a throwaway comment or intended as an insult? The two are completely unrelated, surely?

I don't think it's a question of people being pompous or not knowing how to have fun. I think it usually comes down to different upbringings and expectations as to what is considered 'acceptable behaviour' in public (remember the saying to always watch out for the quiet ones: they'll be most 'dirty' in private?)

I think this kind of 'banter', if we call it that, is just not acceptable to some people, who believe it is disrespectful language. Is that so hard for people who have the opposite opinion to see? I think the 'respect' issue that has been raised is clearly not black & white and banter will fall at different places across this scale for different people.