what would you do if!!!!!!

Torry_Quine

gazsharpe101 wrote: »

A discussion is where words are exchanged between two people - if the content is offensive and is overheard by the subject of the discussion or someone else who doesn't approve then fair enough.

But, in general, no-one can tell anyone else what they should or shouldn't discuss.

I'm not surprised you don't recognise what a discussion is as you clearly don't grasp the concept.

No, a discussion is when two or more people exchange ideas and concepts, enquire after each other etc. It shouldn't involve degrading comments about other people that 's what I meant by not discussion as I would recognise it. I would hope that in a place such as a work environment then people wouldn't need to be told not to be derogatory.

Lotus-eater

Emmzi wrote: »

Knowing that men feel free to value women only by appearance etc can make any woman feel uncomfortable, even if the one they are perving on seems to enjoy it.

You mean like when the women have those half naked fireman's calenders?

Naughty, naughty pervy women.

How dare anyone say anything about the appearance of others, despite the tv, newspapers, the whole media really, society doing it.

And I'm not allowed to fantasise about any other women but my wife now? So I presume, she's not allowed any sexual fantasies either? Is she going to be pis sed off or what.

Men fancy women and women fancy men. That's the way the world has always been........ and will always be.

Men have always been crude about women when they are with other men, sure some aren't and I'm not disputing that, but most are and as a man I'm pretty sure I'm more qualified to say that than the women on here. Most of them then go home to their families and be the perfect husband/father.

If you can't live with the fact, learn to pretend it doesn't happen and live in a bubble.

Emmzi

Lotus-eater wrote: »

If you can't live with the fact, learn to pretend it doesn't happen and live in a bubble.

Or, you know. Keep striving for equality in the workplace.

Torry_Quine

Lotus-eater wrote: »

You mean like when the women have those half naked fireman's calenders?

Naughty, naughty pervy women.

How dare anyone say anything about the appearance of others, despite the tv, newspapers, the whole media really, society doing it.

And I'm not allowed to fantasise about any other women but my wife now? So I presume, she's not allowed any sexual fantasies either? Is she going to be pis sed off or what.

Men fancy women and women fancy men. That's the way the world has always been........ and will always be.

Men have always been crude about women when they are with other men, sure some aren't and I'm not disputing that, but most are and as a man I'm pretty sure I'm more qualified to say that than the women on here. Most of them then go home to their families and be the perfect husband/father.

If you can't live with the fact, learn to pretend it doesn't happen and live in a bubble.

I disagree with women behaving badly as much as men. This wasn't just commenting on someone's appearance though.

If you and your wife feel the need to fantasise about other people, well that's your choice but I don't see why you would need it.

Men and indeed women sadly are crude at times though I would hesitate to say most, however that doesn't make it right and certainly should only be in private.

Lotus-eater

Emmzi wrote: »

Or, you know. Keep striving for equality in the workplace.

I'm all for equality, I hope my posts have come over that way. Women have made great strides in being more vocal about what they like, in the past couple of decades.

What women talk about in private is their choice, tbh I don't want to know but from what my OH says........ and from things I have overheard (alot! working in offices when people forget you are there) not only are they not behind the men, they are probably in front for real life stories.

Absinthe_2

julie8314dave wrote: »

You received an answerphone message by mistake and found your partner of 16 years telling his co worker that there was a girl where he worked that was absoluetly gorgeous and basically what he would have done with her, HE ALSO SAID THAT SHE WAS mad about money and was going to ask her the right price( did not get that bit) AND ASKING OUTRIGHT THAT IF HIS CO WORKER COULD GET AWAY WITH IT WOULD HE, he replied if this woman got drunk you are onto a winner my partner agreedl

Before that the conversation started with his freind telling him about a girl that he had slept with whilst he was with his wife and got away with it, MY PARTNER MENTIONED THIS GIRL TWICE BEFORE THE PHONE WENT OFF,

My partner has never given me any reason not to distrust him and has been a good dad to the kids.

When i confronted my partner he said that it was male banter, and that he got fed up with the other bloke keep chirping on about his conquests.

If anybody had asked me what my partners reply would have been to this i would have said that he would say I am quite content with my missis i do not need anything else. but instead of that he says as above.

i do not know what to believe or do as it has left me devestated, i can not even bare to talk to him, also i have enough to deal with at the moment as my dad is going for tests next Friday for cancer.

Why do men do this! i want to believe him about male banter as i said before i have never had any reason to distrust him but feel very let down.

He has appologised and said that he should not have said those things and has said that there was no woman and that he would never ever do that to me but i feel that the trust has now gone i just can not deal with it.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO !!!!!!

Would have had belongings packed, outside waiting. One thing ex was never guilty of. Just wouldn't have happened, luckily for me.

Behind your back sextexts, get rid! Was never possessive, as would have said welcome, but never come back, ever!!! Never happened to me thankfully.

Get rid. May find yourself enjoying life again.

nickyhutch

Lotus-eater wrote: »

You mean like when the women have those half naked fireman's calenders?

Naughty, naughty pervy women.

How dare anyone say anything about the appearance of others, despite the tv, newspapers, the whole media really, society doing it.

And I'm not allowed to fantasise about any other women but my wife now? So I presume, she's not allowed any sexual fantasies either? Is she going to be pis sed off or what.

Men fancy women and women fancy men. That's the way the world has always been........ and will always be.

Men have always been crude about women when they are with other men, sure some aren't and I'm not disputing that, but most are and as a man I'm pretty sure I'm more qualified to say that than the women on here. Most of them then go home to their families and be the perfect husband/father.

If you can't live with the fact, learn to pretend it doesn't happen and live in a bubble.

As ever, the voice of sanity. Thank you.

Emmzi

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I'm all for equality, I hope my posts have come over that way. Women have made great strides in being more vocal about what they like, in the past couple of decades.

What women talk about in private is their choice, tbh I don't want to know but from what my OH says........ and from things I have overheard (alot! working in offices when people forget you are there) not only are they not behind the men, they are probably in front for real life stories.

FWIW there are no "sexy" calendars of either men or women in my workplace - all gone, and I call the girls out on making some of the (deeply religious) men uncomfortable with their "banter".

Bothers me not one bit what you do at home. As I think we have covered before.

nickyhutch

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I disagree with women behaving badly as much as men I think you're kidding you'reslf, I'm afraid.. This wasn't just commenting on someone's appearance though.

If you and your wife feel the need to fantasise about other people, well that's your choice but I don't see why you would need it. Just because you don't see the need...?

Men and indeed women sadly are crude at times though I would hesitate to say most, however that doesn't make it right says who?and certainly should only be in private says who?.

.................................

Lotus-eater

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I disagree with women behaving badly as much as men. This wasn't just commenting on someone's appearance though.

No it was being commented on what he would do with her. A very very common discussion in male only conversations. I remember being shocked when I first went into the workplace at 14 and heard it
Well 27 years later and it's still the same!

Torry_Quine wrote: »

If you and your wife feel the need to fantasise about other people, well that's your choice but I don't see why you would need it.

Well the missionary position can get a bit boring after a few years, nothing wrong with making it a bit more exciting.
If you look in every sexual help book, what's the first thing you see every time? Have fantasies, that's what. Every single time. It's the experts saying that, not me. I just happen to agree with them.

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Men and indeed women sadly are crude at times though I would hesitate to say most, however that doesn't make it right and certainly should only be in private.

Well yeah, it should be in private, of course, but sometimes you can accidentally get overheard and leeway has to be given.
Which is I think where the OP comes in.