what would you do if!!!!!!

Lotus-eater

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Sadly you probably have a point that some people feel the need to behave in this way.

The majority of people say something sexual about the other sex, like I said, if you don't want to believe it and want to carry on in a bubble, then fair play, I'm not trying to change your mind, just expand it to the reality.

Torry_Quine wrote: »

It's entirely up to you if you want to discuss about your private sex life on the internet, I just happen to think that the only person you should discuss it with is the other person in the relationship. Just because I believe it should be private doesn't mean that I think its unclean or unhealthy.

Well that's how it usually ends up.

I have no desire to know anything about your sex life, just try not to judge people who don't have the same beliefs as yourself. I realise I may be trying to get blood out of a stone here
Just one thing, if you are not allowed to talk about it, not allowed to fantasise about it, not allowed to discuss it with anyone but your partner, not allowed to read anything, or look at anything sexual. How on earth do you ever learn anything new?

Torry_Quine

Lotus-eater wrote: »

The majority of people say something sexual about the other sex, like I said, if you don't want to believe it and want to carry on in a bubble, then fair play, I'm not trying to change your mind, just expand it to the reality.

Well that's how it usually ends up.

I have no desire to know anything about your sex life, just try not to judge people who don't have the same beliefs as yourself. I realise I may be trying to get blood out of a stone here
Just one thing, if you are not allowed to talk about it, not allowed to fantasise about it, not allowed to discuss it with anyone but your partner, not allowed to read anything, or look at anything sexual. How on earth do you ever learn anything new?

Maybe in your world,certainly not in mine. I am well aware that the world does not live like me, I'm not in a bubble.

I'm sorry if you feel I'm judging that's the last thing I would want, I'm trying to understand why you need to bring other things into the relationship. I have a similar feeling.

It's not a case of not allowed to discuss it, I wouldn't ever want to. :eek:. At this stage I doubt we'll be trying anything new but we learned together when we first married.

jojo_2012_2

I think it's probably just male banter. It doesn't do much for your ego though imagining this woman at work every day. He's got some major making up to do. If it were me I'd have to insist he stays away from her, ESPECIALLY in a social setting.

Lotus-eater

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Maybe in your world,certainly not in mine. I am well aware that the world does not live like me, I'm not in a bubble.

I'm sorry if you feel I'm judging that's the last thing I would want, I'm trying to understand why you need to bring other things into the relationship. I have a similar feeling.

It's not a case of not allowed to discuss it, I wouldn't ever want to. :eek:. At this stage I doubt we'll be trying anything new but we learned together when we first married.

Believe it or not, some of my friends are really religious and some are what society would call the dregs. I don't have a std friend base. So my world is a bit of a crazy mish mash of people.
In my (part time atm) job, I get to meet lords, top solicitors and the ordinary joe who works in a dead beat 9-5 job, even people who live off benefits all the time.
So when I say that the majority of people talk about the other sex, I have a pretty good knowledge to fall back on.

You need to bring other things into your sex life sometimes to spice it up. Sometimes the mundane isn't enough for everyone, it is for some people and fair play, I have no desire to make everyone the same, that would be pretty boring.
Sharing fantasies and playing them out if you like, is a painless way of doing this, not the only way, but a well proven way.

*Louise*

rachel90 wrote: »

Sorry if this has been said, just skimmed the first page but he was talking to a co worker about a girl at work and then told you there is no girl at work but that he was fed up with the co worker going on?
Is that right? If it is correct, surely the co worker would know about this girl and whether or not she exists?

Thank you - I read through 7 pages because this confused me somewhat and I was trying to see if it had been explained.

OP - it''s down to you where the line is drawn in your marriage. Either you believe him or you don't but it will take time to regain that trust.

Personally, I work with men and understand male banter to an extent but if my husband had came out with comments like that I would have been disgusted, it's a step too far imo

I wouldn't throw away so many years together but it would be enough for it to take some time to get over it and forgive him.

property.advert

Seems some of the "wimmin" have been let out of Greenham Common over the holidays.

victory

tinktinktinkerbell wrote: »

i dont care what it is, the fact he was even thinking about doing things with another female is a no no for me!

You can't control his thoughts even if you are married, there is no vow that says 'now you are wed, you will never ever think about another person in any shape or form, you will solely concentrate all your thoughts on me, me only and will never look/think about/talk/fantasize/have a laugh and a joke about someone else, ever you get that':rotfl::D

victory

To be honest I think the chances of him being overheard by a mistake answering machine message are a million to one and he has been very very unlucky, we all to some degree act in a different way amongst friends that we would ever consider to do inside the house, I agree with lotus people do fantasise, I would love it if Antonio Banderas popped by but there is very little chance of that:rotfl::rotfl:

onlyroz

I haven't read everything here, but I agree that there is a difference between saying you find somebody attractive, and saying that you think they would agree to being paid for sex. I think this man has some serious grovelling to do.

While I am aware that it is not uncommon for both men and women to have conversations like this, I certainly would not want to associate with somebody who wanted to discuss which sexual positions they would like to employ with an attractive co-worker. If I found out that anybody had been discussing me in this way I would most certainly peruse a sexual harassment suit.

However, I do think it slightly ridiculous to suggest that nobody finds anybody else attractive once they have settled down in a relationship - but these thoughts should be kept firmly in your head.

dirtysexymonkey

onlyroz wrote: »

I haven't read everything here, but I agree that there is a difference between saying you find somebody attractive, and saying that you think they would agree to being paid for sex. I think this man has some serious grovelling to do.

While I am aware that it is not uncommon for both men and women to have conversations like this, I certainly would not want to associate with somebody who wanted to discuss which sexual positions they would like to employ with an attractive co-worker. If I found out that anybody had been discussing me in this way I would most certainly peruse a sexual harassment suit.

However, I do think it slightly ridiculous to suggest that nobody finds anybody else attractive once they have settled down in a relationship - but these thoughts should be kept firmly in your head.

the irony being that quite a few posters who are saying this man is the scum of the earth are the same posters saying that the op should have him grovel and buy his way into an apology by treating her.

so not ok to talk about paying for sex, but perfectly ok to pimp yourself out for an apology. right.