Thai wives

Empty_pockets

Interesting thread, thanks all!

Seems to be half and half. A contingent that are genuine relationships and a section more that are closer to a transaction.

DUTR

Empty_pockets wrote: »

Interesting thread, thanks all!

Seems to be half and half. A contingent that are genuine relationships and a section more that are closer to a transaction.

Which is the same in the western world , shotgun weddings still go on even nowadays

Slinky

My friend's son has a Thai wife. They met in a UK nightclub and are of a similar age. I think she had been married before and has a child (maybe adult now, the years go by) in Thailand, plus a Thai adopted child whose mother had died. The Thai lady works very hard in a restaurant in London. They decided my friend's son would be a house husband and bring up their own two children and she would support them all. In addition she sends money back to Thailand and they have built 3 properties out there, two of which the Thai lady's family live in and the other is a holiday home. My friend has been out with her husband, son, daughter in law and children several times to visit the family in Thailand and the pictures of the property there look stunning. I think my friend's son and wife plan to retire there eventually.

I must admit I was a bit dubious about the relationship when my friend told me about it, but it seems to be genuine and have stood the test of time.

Ellejmorgan

Thai women don't like Thai men that much, the majority of Thai men don't earn much money-It's still a 3rd world country with much poverty.
Thai women love the west, whitening skin products are even sold in Boots and Tescos or lotus as its called.
Its not just white men they adore white babies and you will have thai women stare at you, my father warned me not to let go of my baby as she would have been taken.
It's well known among Thai women that dating a black man is a no no, they don't like them-this is their view not mine !!!
They consider us wealthy !!!

I know Thailand very well as my father from the uk had a Thai wife and we travelled a lot around the country and he had a school in Samutprakarn, Bangkok.

brokenlily

pukkamum wrote: »

Perhaps she had no choice but to leave her family in Thailand as the only way she could keep them out of poverty was by living in England and marrying an english man, perhaps she is so devastated to have had to leave her loved ones she cannot understand why anyone would not lavish love and attention on their elderly parents or children and so she pours her love onto them.

Try opening your eyes wider?

It's possible I guess - I've met her, she seems like a nice enough person, and her husband, my OH's uncle, sends money back to her family and bought them a new house. I guess my jury's out on the whole thing really, it's hard to say.

I found it striking comparing the completely spoilt two children she has here with the pictures of her son and family back home, I found it odd she has not brought her son over, but I suppose we don't always know people's reasons for making certain decisions, and there maybe a good one behind it. In some ways perhaps her son may be better off not having the trappings of a Western upbringing - I am not sure indeed how happy children are these days here, and material wealth certainly does not guarantee happiness.

I think that I probably got riled by her on behalf of my OH really - she does moralize a lot and my OH and his brother feel that she is portraying them as uncaring and not nice people because they do not live near their family, and he knows that she says these things behind their backs to their grandparents. If she wants to care for the elderly parents then that's fine, it's her choice and it is a kind thing to do, but I feel that she should not do this at the expense of others, or to make other people look bad in order to better her own position. That is why I think that there is something that doesn't quite add up.

Seanymph

Broken lily and slinky both have the same set up as the people I knew - they always have to buy the inlaws/build the inlaws a house, buy property - and yet I was told in Thai law no 'foreigner' can hold investments or land, so these are all in the name of the wife or the wife's father.

I wasn't sure it was so widespread until I read this thread and obviously it is part of the negotiation.

Person_one

brokenlily wrote: »

I found it striking comparing the completely spoilt two children she has here with the pictures of her son and family back home, I found it odd she has not brought her son over, but I suppose we don't always know people's reasons for making certain decisions, and there maybe a good one behind it. In some ways perhaps her son may be better off not having the trappings of a Western upbringing - I am not sure indeed how happy children are these days here, and material wealth certainly does not guarantee happiness.

Children are almost always happier when living on the same continent as their mum though.

I know a 'thai bride' who brought her children with her, they were lovely kids and learnt English so fast it was amazing. The trappings of western life certainly didn't harm them more than being abandoned by their mother would have!

londonsurrey

brokenlily wrote: »

I think that I probably got riled by her on behalf of my OH really - she does moralize a lot and my OH and his brother feel that she is portraying them as uncaring and not nice people because they do not live near their family, and he knows that she says these things behind their backs to their grandparents. If she wants to care for the elderly parents then that's fine, it's her choice and it is a kind thing to do, but I feel that she should not do this at the expense of others, or to make other people look bad in order to better her own position. That is why I think that there is something that doesn't quite add up.

There is a cultural thing here - in that culture, you are supposed to look after the generation before - you ARE the pension plan.

So her badmouthing her in-laws to her parents, while there might be an element of plain normal gossipy badmouthing, is actually the equivalent of a standard Western mother telling her children that even though the in-laws smoke and swear like sailors, it is totally unacceptable for them to do the same, i.e. it's shocking that the in-laws smoke, swear and don't live as a close family unit, it's unacceptable behaviour, and the children should understand that, and NEVER behave like that.

Does that help a bit, and make a bit more sense?

londonsurrey

PS Don't forget, in 15-30 years' time, these children are going to be making decisions as to where they live, where they raise their families, and where Mummy (the badmouthing Thai wife) is going to be in relation to them.

She knows that she certainly doesn't want them following the living arrangement example set by the in-laws she's badmouthing, and is making durned sure that the children understand how living arrangements with Granny (her) should be set up.

euronorris

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I don't remember saying that. Not that you seem to have a problem making things up.

Of course British men can also be selfish, however in this thread we were talking about women, I suspect in the Turkish toy boy thread, we would be talking about how bad British men are.

I feel that, recently (say last decade or two), there has been a change in attitudes for both a lot of men and women.

It is true that there are a lot of women out there who, I wouldn't call it selfish, but they expect too much. They expect a guy to earn good money, buy them a house, a car, jewellry, nice clothes, take them out, and oh they must pay on the first date, and be good looking, and do half the housework, all the DIY work, and be good in bed and and and.

It's unrealistic, unequal and far too much pressure. Born from fantasy stories and films.

However, this is definitely NOT all women's expectations.

And the guys, well, they're looking for hot women, always perfectly turned out, always wearing the sexy underwear, always slim, be a lady in the street, and a freak in the bed, be a domestic goddess, be smart, but not too smart, want to work, but don't earn more than him, do all the housework, contribute equally financially to everything (even though you may earn massively less than them, and they don't want you to earn more), and if you don't match up to this 100%, and 100% of the time, then nevermind, it's onto the next woman.

Again, it's unrealistic, unequal and too much pressure.

However, this is also, definitely NOT all men's expectations.

OT - I have a friend who met and fell in love with his Singaporean wife. They met through work though, and I believe she is a little older than him. It is genuine love, and she was in the UK for a while, before they moved out to Singapore. He is very happy. Didn't stop his mates ridiculing him for it though. Shame.