Thai wives

Empty_pockets

Genuine question and in no way rasist or sexist but what is the deal with Thai wives?

Never been to that part of the world but often hear the thai wives tale.

Often see British men with aisan wifes. Often see british women tittering and gossiping about said person. often see them the object of ridicule.... or maybe jealousy.

Is the Thai wife a genuine thing or is it just a holiday romance that stands out because of skin colour?

Empty_pockets

Nobody?

Is this still one of those topics that folk don't speak about?

Artytarty

I think the term Thai bride is used loosely to cover an internet relationship resulting in marriage between what people would normally to be two people in an unequally balanced relationship . One has the looks but may be impoverished and desperate enough to marry for money, security and a visa.The other MAY be financially secure, socially awkward, older etc etc... you get the picture.Both gain from the union in different ways. Often love may follow but I think the gossip you refer to may well be based on jealousy of the man for his good luck and of the woman for her looks .

January20

It's not just Thai brides, it's also Russian brides... same set up as explained in #3, although I'm not sure the gossiping is always jealousy. I think there is a certain stigma attached to a Thai or Russian bride, ie she is a gold-digger and he is a silly old man who got scammed.

Nottoobadyet

Maybe a wind up, but I'll give answering a go.

In most parts of the developing world you see western men with much younger, phenomenally more attractive girlfriends. I'd say most of the disdain (though I cant speak for the tittering, who knows what motivates them!) comes from the presumption that the relationships are unequal in power terms: women from presumably poor backgrounds putting up with a man with the finances to support them and their families, and possibly with a choke hold on their visa.

May times the presumption is misplaced and the romances are real (many of my friends, for example, but usually with far smaller age gaps), but there are certainly many aging western men who see the developing world as a place where they can "buy" a much more attractive woman than they could get at home. They see girlfriends / wives as prostitutes, but ones that you can hold on to and will cook for you and who doesnt have the power to boot you out regardless of your behavior, which I think you'll agree is a rather unpleasant way to see the world. There are several pubs here in Kampala that seem to be frequented entirely by this type of man, here for the stunning Ugandan ladies decades their junior.

That said, projecting that paradigm onto a couple that you don't know anything about is probably vindictive, and as you imply may include some jealousy!l

Empty_pockets

So you suggest personal gain first and love later for both parties.

This is how I see many convential relationships however those relationships don't have the stigma attached that the disscussed do.

The few Aisan ladies I have come across have all been working, or purported to, full time as well as spending their free time looking after thier family/husband.

timberflake

I think it's because they love you long time.

Empty_pockets

Sorry, spent some time typing and missed to few posts inbetween.

Not a wind up and thansk for your input.

Just a subject I've never really understood and never seen discussed. Don't know whether is a genuine common thing for aged brit to go to Asia and buy a wife as easily as they would a pint of milk....or it is indeed an old wives tale.

What prompted me was a recent picture I saw being distrubuted on facebook. Someone had sneakily taken a picture of a older chap doing some christmas with his younger Asian wife.
The title suggested she was obviously an thai bride and every comment added was of riducule.
this may just be teens having a laugh but it's sad that the response was as it was.

jojo_2012_2

I don't see anything wrong with it as long as everyone's happy. 2 consenting adults and all that.

Nottoobadyet

I completely agree that the sort of reaction you saw is prejudiced and inappropriate - these people know nothing at all about this couple and their story. I imagine you might see similar responses to an older British woman out shopping with a much younger Arab or West African husband.

I suspect that many of the western world's misogynists may feel out of place at home and decide to go abroad to find women (or men) that they can control financially and physically (in terms of visa etc) in the ways to which they have become accustomed. Pity that many genuine couples that dont have that power dynamic at all find themselves painted with the same brush.

patchwork_cat

It isn't just aged Brits that do it. It is also men too old to be living with their parents, no life etc. It is a very real phenomen, not prejudice. I am sure there are some genuine relationships, but so many are unequal.