Thai wives

Lotus-eater

margaretclare wrote: »

I have heard it said that Western men are disillusioned with Western women because we're too independent, not subservient enough, too busy with our own concerns to wait hand-and-foot on a man.

That's about right. Most British women on the whole are a complete turn off for me. Now and again I'll meet someone I like.

I haven't got a thing for Asian women as such, but some can be very attractive, but in the same way, so can other women from anywhere.

I did marry someone from abroad, but she is no different to an English girl who I would like really, just happened to meet her first.

No one minds independence, but I want someone who sees us as a family and doesn't put themselves always first.

But I wouldn't marry someone that I couldn't converse with properly, there are more things to life than a gorgeous woman on your arm in Sainsburys.

LisaB85

margaretclare wrote: »

I have heard it said that Western men are disillusioned with Western women because we're too independent, not subservient enough, too busy with our own concerns to wait hand-and-foot on a man.

I have heard the same thing too, apparently we are too independent, laddish, easy etc just a few examples.

But if the go for the Thai bride it saves me from ending up with a man who will expect me wipe his backside for him.

My sisters boyfriend mum is from the Philippians and although I don't know her well I couldn't imagine her ever being sub servant so I imagine a lot of these men who go for Thai brides for that reason might get a shock

Although my sisters boyfriend waits on her hand and foot, he has also said once she has children she won't need to work she can stay home and look after the kids......

LisaB85

Lotus-eater wrote: »

No one minds independence, but I want someone who sees us as a family and doesn't put themselves always first.

I am independent and would never do EVERYTHING a man told me to do but nor do I put myself first all the time and will look after my man but I won't run round making him tea while he sits on his !!!!.

I do like being bossed around in certain areas but will not be a doormat.

Mumto5

A highly paid colleague of DH has bought himself a stunning beautiful Thai bride. He earns £200K and she works in the nursing home my nan lived in. She sends her wages back to her family. If he really loved her surely he would send some money back for her.

I pity this man who cannot win a wife the conventional way. He is a spineless weirdo.

I am sure there are nanny Thai marriages for love and I wish those couples all the best.

Lotus-eater

LisaB85 wrote: »

I am independent and would never do EVERYTHING a man told me to do but nor do I put myself first all the time and will look after my man but I won't run round making him tea while he sits on his !!!!.

I do like being bossed around in certain areas but will not be a doormat.

I think the problem with alot of British women, is that they are very selfish, I never wanted someone who is a doormat and she certainly isn't.

You assumed I was talking about subservience, which I wasn't, I was just talking about the attitude of alot of women today.

You can't blame a guy who marries a Thai bride, he's hoping he'll get something he can't get here. I actually feel sorry for almost all of them, blokes and women. It can't be much of a relationship.

clearingout

brokenlily wrote: »

My OH's uncle has a Thai wife, and she is much younger. She left her son in Thailand to be brought up by his grandparents and has gone on to have a family here - 2 kids who are spoiled rotten and have everything, whereas her son has had a very different life. She puts a LOT of energy into the elderly parents over here. She is very vocally critical of British people and the way they do not care for their families, which my OH has often taken as an implicit criticism of him and his brother, both of whom moved away, and yet she's left her own family behind to create this new one and is now lavishing all her care on her husband's family.....something doesn't seem right.

I lived in a number of developing countries in my 20s and it is pretty normal to up to a 'first world' country, if the opportunity arises, leaving your children with other family members. It would also be normal for that family member abroad to be supporting their immediate family and often extended family financially through their work. Remembering, of course, that the US dollar is very strong in developing countries and life is far less expensive than it is here. £100 a month can go an awful long way in much of the world and isn't necessarily difficult to save each month to send home.

It is also worth remembering that just because someone is a 'Thai bride' it doesn't make the woman stupid! I know plenty of women from developing countries with skills and qualifications coming out of their ears and who work incredibly hard here in the UK, often in jobs 'below' their qualifications. I would suggest that as long as people have secured their entrance to the UK legally, it's not really up to anyone else to judge.

We live very, very priviledged lifestyles, something I think we struggle to appreciate. Even in modern times with exotic holidays and attempts at seeing the 'real' country we are visiting, it can be very hard to get behind how life is for real people. A visa for the UK, Canada or the US is highly prized and can contribute to an improved lifestyle for far more people than the visa-holder alone.

FatVonD

The thing I find the saddest is that, with their being such a large disparity of wealth, the women marry what they think to be a wealthy British man only to find out he's actually a bus driver (no offence to bus drivers!)

One of DH's workmates is onto his third (I kid ye not) Thai bride though he's not brought any of them to the UK. He travels out as a s*xual tourist, gets sucked into 'love you long time', marries them then they dump him once they've fleeced him of whatever money he has at the time.

More fool him.

margaretclare

LisaB85 wrote: »

I have heard the same thing too, apparently we are too independent, laddish, easy etc just a few examples.

But if the go for the Thai bride it saves me from ending up with a man who will expect me wipe his backside for him.

My sisters boyfriend mum is from the Philippians and although I don't know her well I couldn't imagine her ever being sub servant so I imagine a lot of these men who go for Thai brides for that reason might get a shock

Although my sisters boyfriend waits on her hand and foot, he has also said once she has children she won't need to work she can stay home and look after the kids......

I had to smile at that. The Canadian guy we knew - he died a few years ago - had certainly bitten off more than he could chew. The Filipina he married had a fierce temper on her and had been known to chase him around the house and threaten to do him severe mischief. He was a big bloke too, been a Canadian Mountie but invalided out with gunshot wounds. That little woman certainly put the fear of God into him.

About being too independent, I remember when I was widowed and I answered some newspaper ads to meet a guy for a drink. One bloke told me he'd had to learn to cook since his wife died 5 years before, in 35 years of marriage he'd never so much as made a cup of tea, and he looked at me hopefully. My behind didn't even hit the chair. I was out of there so fast.

As an older woman, widowed, I didn't expect ever to find romance again, but I did. My present OH was in a terrible abusive marriage, it was his second 'out of frying pan into fire', but he didn't blame it all on Western women. Romance and happiness has happened for us against all the probabilities.

Seanymph

I know at least one who did get a shock.

An area I lived in had many Thai wives - a couple went out and returned with them, much younger, amenable - apparently one chap's wife put his socks on for him in the morning. There was much discussion and others went out there to 'get themselves one'.

It was negotiated - they had a 'story' that they produced for people 'she was a tour guide he met whilst there' - the reality of it was different, he liked younger girls, couldn't get one in england, and went out deliberately to obtain a wife.

He bought her parents property which was all held in their name, invested money - again held in their name...... and sent weekly money to her parents.

For her part I can assure you there was no sock putting on going on! He bought back someone who looked sweet as honey but within weeks, despite not working wouldn't do housework and demanded a cleaner, had a terrible shopping habit, ordered him about relentlessly - and he couldn't walk away because he had tens of thousands invested in her parents name.

It took me years to learn it, but the expectation from all the settlements was that the guy would do that, purchase property and invest money over there - and also that they would be kept women. It was a negotiated deal, no more no less.

I am sure there are guys who have legitimately fallen in love with Thai ladies, and have an equitable relationship. My experience and knowledge from quite a few, and indepth knowledge of one would be that it is a negotiated transaction.

FatVonD

Seanymph wrote: »

He bought her parents property which was all held in their name, invested money - again held in their name...... and sent weekly money to her parents.

Seanymph wrote: »

It took me years to learn it, but the expectation from all the settlements was that the guy would do that, purchase property and invest money over there - and also that they would be kept women. It was a negotiated deal, no more no less.

That's exactly what happens with DH's workmate, he then comes back tot he UK and works flat out for a few months to take money back with him. Of course the minute he's out of the country his wives are 'loving someone else long time' (in one case, another of my DH's workmates :eek: )