Should you compromise?

Chick

However- I should add that this is easier said than done, but you MUST have a thorough discussion about all the issues.
Keeping calm and sounding rational is very important...you don't want to push your OH away or seem like you are making unreasonable demands or cranking the pressure up.
It really is a ticky situation, but absolutely one that needs to be talked about at length.

Lunar_Eclipse

hounddoggy wrote: »

Do I compromise what I want in life because I love him and stay and wait for him to get there or do I go and find someone else who can give me what I want?

This is a tricky situation and in your shoes, I'm honestly not sure what I'd do.

On the one hand, I'm questioning whether he really is The One, because the romantic side of me doesn't think you'd feel there was any compromise in being with him if that were the case, but would just be basking in love at having found your soul mate.

On the other hand, there are people who disagree with that thinking (as being unrealistic) altogether! Either way, I realise that your body clock is ticking loudly. DH will attest to the fact that by the time I turned 27, I was making it very obvious that it was kids now or never (& I wanted to be married first!) since I wanted to have completed pregnancy by 30.

I think a good starting point is to have another deep & meaningful, tell him how you're feeling and ask him what he thinks about your feelings.

But leave it until after NY, just in case a proposal is coming ...

Lunar_Eclipse

jtr2803 wrote: »

are you suggesting that all these wives were being strung along for 6/7/8 years, did the men propose out of pity?!

Unless people meet before finishing university, they meet someone, go out for a few years, live together for a few years, propose somewhere between year 6 & 10 of their relationship and then get married. Quite hard to do before the age of 30 then.

I've never met a man (in real life), besides my own father, that gives a second's thought to marriage before the age of 30, even if they've been with their childhood sweetheart since they were 16. Most men just aren't thinking about settling down until about ten years after women, in general, do. That's my experience of people I know in real life anyway.

So no, I don't think anyone's stringing someone along if they've been together for 6/7/8 years but got together at the age of 21. That's sadly, for women's body clocks, very normal.