Why don't you have Children yet?

lori64

missbishi wrote: »

Me too! I also look at their inane status updates ("Matilda ate two spoons of baby rice today" etc) and praise the NHS for free contraception!

:rotfl:Oh, I know what you mean!!

lori64

Barcode wrote: »

The answer is simple: I don't like children.

Not actively dislike, mind, but I don't find their endeavours endearing, and don't, in general, find friends children 'cute.' My wife and I don't want the intrusion into our lives, and that's what it would be for us: an intrusion. I don't have to justify this, or respond to silly accusations of 'selfishness' - it's far better to be self-aware than make the disastrous choice to have a child and then resent it. We are all different, and this is simply how I am.

I feel exactly the same way!

no1catman

In my younger days I used to be scared about getting someone pregnant - did have one lady-friend who mademe wear two condoms at once, and another who said she wanted to have my babies - aaarrrgh!
It was always a relief to find someone who - couldn't have any!
I have nephews and neices, but could never understand the fuss when they were borne - beautiful - hell no looks just like Winston Churchill !
When, I hear the high pitched scream of kids in supermarkets - I just want to say - 'shut up' - sometimes do, or else hurry in the opposite direction.
My partner, is of the same mind.
Only, trouble the next door neighbours - have a baby girl of almost eighteen months - when I told me - all I could think of was - 'oh no'! Hate to think what it's going to be like when she gets older - running about in the garden screaming - arrgh - so much for peace and quiet.

DKLS

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

i agree with you but in a less PC way.
1 - they suck the life out of the wifes' tits
2 - you have to watch BoB the fricken Builder instead of match of the day
3 - Turkey Twizzlers and potato shapes for tea instead of T-Bone steak
4 - Pontins instead of Barbados
5 - You have to spend a fortune at Christmas on somebody who has no idea what's happening
6 - no more sex incase you wake the baby
7 - you can't get wasted without having to phone the babysitter every twenty minutes

That could become a very long list indeed.
After spending any amount of time at this end of the forum reading some of the "my child hates me, it cant/wont stop crapping/puking/eating/stealing/behave, I thought it would be wonderful but now I have PND and cant get out of my dressing gown" etc etc threads, its enough to put any sane person off children for life.

I honestly cant see a good reason to have them in this day and age, I know parents carp on about unconditional love, but after speaking to a Prof of Nutrition and Dietetics I can chemically recreate the exact same feeling with a large helping of decent chocolate.

euronorris

DKLS wrote: »

That could become a very long list indeed.
After spending any amount of time at this end of the forum reading some of the "my child hates me, it cant/wont stop crapping/puking/eating/stealing/behave, I thought it would be wonderful but now I have PND and cant get out of my dressing gown" etc etc threads, its enough to put any sane person off children for life.

I honestly cant see a good reason to have them in this day and age, I know parents carp on about unconditional love, but after speaking to a Prof of Nutrition and Dietetics I can chemically recreate the exact same feeling with a large helping of decent chocolate.

I have to say though, none of that stuff bothers me. I've grown up in a large family, so have always been around children and babies, done loads of babysitting for neighbours etc, and looked after my neices and nephews a LOT (including through times of diarrorhea and vomiting bugs).

I know it will be different when it comes to having my own, and then it will be 24/7 (no handing them back), and I'll still have to do all those things when I'm ill myself, but it still doesn't phase me. I know those times pass relatively quickly, and the happy times, and the comments, and getting to see them grow.....well, that all outweighs the bad for me.

I appreciate your POV though. It's not all happy and great 24/7, it's a big change, and a HUGE committment and responsibility. H'll, even if you really want kids, but have never really looked after them before (let alone changed a nappy), it's a very, very daunting task (as my OH will tell you!).

It's definitely not something that anyone should do unless it is something they are really sure of, and they are going in with their eyes open to exactly how tough it will be at times.

[Deleted User]

I think it's lovely to see such a supportive thread for people who don't want children. I come into this category and have been bombarded with 'you'll change your mind one day!' and 'but you were given a womb by God for a reason'. Yeah, and I was given vocal chords but you'd go deaf if I became an opera singer! Having/ not having children is THE most personal and individual subject. I have never wanted children, prefer puppies to babies and, now approaching 30, feel as strongly about this as ever. Each comment I get about it being a woman's destiny and that I'll change my mind makes me evermore convinced that I never will. I have absolutely nothing against the decisions of others and most of my friends have children or want them, but question my decision and you will experience my wrath! After all, no one ever questions why someone has had a child and there are many people out there who are ill-equipt to become parents. In this day and age when we are exposed to the glamourisation of pregnancy via celebrity baby-bellies and the insensitive comments of others about being selfish or destined to die alone, it is very difficult to tell people you have no wish to have children (my own mother didn't speak to me for 2 weeks when I told her) as it's considered the 'norm' and there is so much pressure to be maternal if you're female. However, bear in mind that anyone who prys into this topic or questions you is likely to be ignorant about other topics too. If you are reading this and ever consider asking someone when they'll be having a baby, please don't. It's a question few people enjoy answering, and frankly, it's none of your business.

Alizarin

I've recently changed my answer to the having children question from "No! Never! I hate children!" to "... Ask me again in 5 years". That seems to satisfy most people's nosiness! :rotfl:

As a childfree-by-choice person, I don't think I've EVER asked someone whether they have children. Probably because I know how annoying the question can be. If someone mentions a child in conversation I'll ask how many/how old/names etc, but I'd never just come out and ask it otherwise.

kittykarate

A guy in my office was obsessed with when I was going to have kids, he'd ask me about them once a week. My responses varied between
- Are you offering to help?
- Thank you for inquiring after the state of my ovaries..
- I like kids but I couldn't eat a whole one.

Every flipping week he'd ask me about this. In the end my manager had to have a word with him about it, as it was getting a bit wearing.

tinktinktinkerbell

i dont have them because i dont want them

im not maternal
i have better things to spend my money on
i would have to move
i like my life the way it is
i do not want to have a kid dictating things to me
i do not want my body messed up

balletshoes

Deleted_User wrote: »

After all, no one ever questions why someone has had a child

oh yes they do - the same people who think nothing of asking you why you haven't got children yet, are the very people who will ask you why you've had a child/was it an accident. Gobsmacking, but there you go (and its usually your nosy relatives ).