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How to handle the "why are you still single?" question.

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Comments

  • Is it just social constraints that hold us back? Can you imagine it...

    Nosey : "Are you getting married yet?"
    Me : "Why?"
    Nosey : "Umm, I just wanted to know"
    Me : "So what happens after? I say no, and what are you going to do about it? Find me a groom? And if I say yes, what are you after? A wedding invitation? Will you help with the cost of the wedding?"

    If you didn't have the normal invisible rules that they drum into good little girls, what would you actually say?
  • candygirl wrote: »
    My MIL waits till my bf has gone to the loo before quizzing me about when we are getting married:mad::mad:Sadly to say the direct approach ie "when hell freezes over" doesn't even shut her up:mad::mad::mad:
    I just don't get why people are so bloody nosey, and intrusive:o:o

    "It's your son. Why don't you go, knock on that loo door, and ask him now?"
  • LisaB85
    LisaB85 Posts: 2,008 Forumite
    'Because I choose to be'
  • krlyr
    krlyr Posts: 5,993 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Simple - throw the ball back in their class with "Why not?". If nothing else, you get to see them try to squirm to think of a decent answer, rather than having to worry about a comeback yourself.
  • candygirl
    candygirl Posts: 29,455 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    "It's your son. Why don't you go, knock on that loo door, and ask him now?"

    Lol good idea.His Sis then proceeded to ask me how many times i've been wed[STRIKE]twice[/STRIKE], and that she only got wed cos she knew it would last:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
    Pride comes before a fall, is all I can say on that score:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
    "You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf"

    (Kabat-Zinn 2004):D:D:D
  • candygirl wrote: »
    His Sis then proceeded to ask me how many times i've been wed[STRIKE]twice[/STRIKE], and that she only got wed cos she knew it would last

    She sounds utterly delightful.

    One reply, in a really sympathetic and sweet voice could be "Yes, he's (her husband) not really into... *pause* ...change, is he?" (adapt as necessary to suit character)
  • euronorris
    euronorris Posts: 12,247 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper PPI Party Pooper
    Person_one wrote: »
    You know who I really feel for in this? Women who would really really love to be married and have children but it just hasn't happened for them. You can't click your fingers and have the perfect man appear in a puff of smoke!

    One of my good friends always wanted to be settled with her first child by 25, she's now closer to 30 and it just isn't happening. I've told her she should burst into tears and run away when people ask her why she hasn't settled yet, or insinuate that she's somehow at fault. She's already painfully aware of her biological clock, she doesn't need to be reminded of it by insensitive relatives!

    It's horrid! All I wanted, when I was single, was to find a nice guy to settle down with and (in the future) have kids. So to have so many people just ask you outright, why you're single, it's like a kick in the teeth!

    I had one old friend (now more of an acquaintance) who married fairly young, as she met her OH at 17. Lucky her. I didn't meet mine until I was 25. She knew how much I wanted to settle down too, but it didn't stop her from saying 'Oh Euro, why are still single? When are you going to get married? You're too fussy, you are.' and giggling!!! :mad: The last time she did that, and suggested that I settle down with one of her hubby's friends, I told her just exactly why I wouldn't be dating this guy, and how hurtful her constant comments, questions and criticisms on the subject were! Don't tell me I'm too fussy because I don't want to settle down with a rude, self centred and arrogant pr1ck! Arghhh.

    Sorry, but it's just so insensitive! She never asked again after that.
    February wins: Theatre tickets
  • lostinrates
    lostinrates Posts: 55,283 Forumite
    I've been Money Tipped!
    miss independant, try not to let it get you down.

    I get the ''no children yet?'' one, haing been married for a while, and its very insensitve but I appreciate its people who just are rubbish at small talk. I can't claim it never upsets me but I also know I put my foot in my mouth often enough.
  • KxMx
    KxMx Posts: 11,272 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Well I am single and not happily so, so I hate these kind of questions (sadly my family have stopped asking so I must be a lost cause in their eyes!). But when I do meet someone and start to get the children questions, I shall have my revenge, "well I have made the very painful decision not to have them due to health issues". Nowt like making people feel bad to get them to shut up *evil grin*. And if they don't shut up then I will regale them in full graphic detail what problems I went through (as the hope for the future is to get a diagnosis and treatment) in my 20's. It ain't pretty let me tell ya and anyone who hears it will never ask again!
  • candygirl wrote: »
    My MIL waits till my bf has gone to the loo before quizzing me about when we are getting married

    You're not invited so it doesn't really matter does it. Put the kettle on luv, eh?
    If you haven't got it - please don't flaunt it. TIA.
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