Advice on rejecting men....

Person_one

Welshwoofs wrote: »

If you go for fiction make it something like Gabriel Garcia Marquez but even better is non-fiction; philosophy, politics, feminist writing are all good off-putting ones.

That's what I was reading, in the original Spanish, when a stag party decided I was their entertainment for the duration of a flight to Barcelona.

Don't go the feminist literature route, men then feel free to start a conversation 'challenging your views' also known as calling you a lesbian, asking how hairy your pubic area is and offering to 'turn you back'.

I don't think there's actually anything even approaching a surefire way to avoid harassment, what puts one off is a red rag to another. Its not our responsibility to second guess perverts.

**Juice**

She needs to be quite cold and firm/forceful. I got the night bus home at the weekend and a bloke sat next to me and kept trying to talk to me, I was just very stand offish, didn't really look at him or anything and in the end he was a bit grumpy and like "I'm not a murderer you know!" I think he was quite annoyed with me but I'd rather be a bit rude and be safe! She needs to not feel awkward about moving away or changing seats either. I hate stuff like this!

I'm also a bit embarrassed to say that I've pretended not to be English before when I've been getting chatted up and not interested...

Welshwoofs

Person_one wrote: »

That's what I was reading, in the original Spanish, when a stag party decided I was their entertainment for the duration of a flight to Barcelona.

Hrm...I suppose there's always saying that you're on your way to an appointment at the sexual health clinic because you've been 'itching' lately

Brighton_belle

lostinrates wrote: »

"Leave me a lone or F off'' can sound like a lover's tiff.
I'd say LOUDLY ''I don't know you, leave me alone''.
That tells other passengers/driver/conductor the situation.

I agree with this.

pimento

VestanPance wrote: »

Has she tried pulling out a bible and asking "have you thought about our lord Jesus Christ recently?"

Yep. This would have me running for the hills.

BugglyB

A very useful guide to preventing sexual assault

londonsurrey

pimento wrote: »

Yep. This would have me running for the hills.

Very funny, and it would work on a decent man

On a serious note, the losers and predators who are trying it on in this manner are not on the prowl for a decent, sorted out human being. They are looking for prey. The more vulnerable, innocent or unclued up you appear, the more they scent blood.

So the key is to appear confident and to deal with any rubbish with no-nonsense authority. Even if you don't feel it, fake it. Good luck to your daughter, and um, welcome to London, complete with its hopeful nutters!

Lotus-eater

Could I just gently remind everyone, that not every bloke who wants to talk to a decent looking girl, is out to waylay or touch her up in some way.

Obviously I'm not defending any bad behaivior, but there aren't that many places a bloke is allowed to talk to women and chat them up any more, it's frowned at, at alot of work places, women are becoming generally alot more aggressive in pubs and well Tesco's is OK, but you're just as likely to be called a pervert for trying to have a discussion over the sage and onion balls, as not.

Also I'm not interested in meeting anyone, but I still like talking to people and why wouldn't I like talking to a good looking girl? Oh yes, because I'm automatically thought of as a wierdo. This may have something to do with the fact, that good looking women complain that no decent guys chat them up.

Just to balance it out a little.

lostinrates

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Could I just gently remind everyone, that not every bloke who wants to talk to a decent looking girl, is out to waylay or touch her up in some way.

Obviously I'm not defending any bad behaivior, but there aren't that many places a bloke is allowed to talk to women and chat them up any more, it's frowned at, at alot of work places, women are becoming generally alot more aggressive in pubs and well Tesco's is OK, but you're just as likely to be called a pervert for trying to have a discussion over the sage and onion balls, as not.

Also I'm not interested in meeting anyone, but I still like talking to people and why wouldn't I like talking to a good looking girl? Oh yes, because I'm automatically thought of as a wierdo. This may have something to do with the fact, that good looking women complain that no decent guys chat them up.

Just to balance it out a little.

I think, lotus there is a difference between a guy trying to chat up, and a guy who has a potty mouth and whose hands are undisciplined. tbh, beng chatted up on a quiet and empty night bus would often be uncomfortable, and part of being a decent guy (and there are plenty about) is possibly being a little sensitive to that and backing off quickly to not make soeone uncommfortable.

daska

I grew up in central london and I'd reiterate what others have said about attitude. There's a reason why cities aren't overly friendly, it's called self protection, the nutters do spot the vulnerable ones and pick on them. Know exactly where you're going, make sure you have the option of running if necessary and speak up loudly if anyone makes a nuisance of themselves because, unfortunately, it's not always the case that people will involve themselves unless you make it clear that you're having problems. I'm sure London Transport are correct and that theft is the most common crime but I was regularly touched up and flashed at, it will happen, just a question of when. And both the busiest of tube carriages and the deserted passages afford the opportunity. I remember one journey where I was aware that a guy had his hand up what I thought was his girlfriends skirt and was rubbing furiously but, when I saw her face it was obvious that she was terrified and didn't know what to do. A simple, loud "Isn't this your stop?" to the guy made it clear he'd been rumbled and he promptly left the train. And to this day I'm not sure whether I did the right thing, the poor girl was extremely upset, as you would imagine, but almost as upset at someone else having spotted it as she was at it happening in the first place.