Advice on rejecting men....

prowla

Is there a difference between chatting (ie. passing the time) and chatting-up (ie. looking for something more)?

I was in a queue the other day (buying something for my wife for lunch) and had one of those "you first - me first" situations with a quite attractive young lady whom I then struck up a conversation with. There was never any intention of anything more (I've made my choice in life), but it was a pleasant way to pass a few minutes.

It could be that 99.99% of the supposed chatter-uppers fall into that category.

Of course, actually touching someone or making some sort of a display is unacceptable.

And, putting the shoe on the other foot, the other day I got quite annoyed at a young lady sat opposite me on the tube who was flashing. Why would they do that?

bitemebankers

Person_one wrote: »

What does it say about me?

I think it says that you assume the worst of people. I think that's a shame, for you as much as anyone else.

scheming_gypsy

why would they flash at you or put their shoes on the wrong feet?

candygirl

Errata wrote: »

I travelled on London buses and tube for years and found the most effective ploy was a quiet "f*ck off" repeating as necessary with a significant increase in volume for each repeat. A simple phrase, understood by men of any nationality and language ability and it lets the other passengers know what's going on. So they can have a good smirk.

:T:T:T:TI love the no shiote approach hun:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Person_one

prowla wrote: »

Is there a difference between chatting (ie. passing the time) and chatting-up (ie. looking for something more)?

I was in a queue the other day (buying something for my wife for lunch) and had one of those "you first - me first" situations with a quite attractive young lady whom I then struck up a conversation with. There was never any intention of anything more (I've made my choice in life), but it was a pleasant way to pass a few minutes.

It could be that 99.99% of the supposed chatter-uppers fall into that category.

Of course, actually touching someone or making some sort of a display is unacceptable.

And, putting the shoe on the other foot, the other day I got quite annoyed at a young lady sat opposite me on the tube who was flashing. Why would they do that?

There's definitely a difference, and its usually really obvious!

**Juice**

I think things need to be put into perspective a bit - a little chat in the fruit and veg aisle is one thing, but when you're alone at night and have made it quite clear you don't want to speak to someone or someone is making inappropriate comments, the persistance can be uncomfortable at best.

lostinrates

Person_one wrote: »

There's definitely a difference, and its usually really obvious!

only when its not a little more sophsticated is it obvious. I choose to interpret it ALL as positive -especially now its less frequent :(- but unnecessary - I'm happily married!

Lotus-eater

prowla wrote: »

And, putting the shoe on the other foot, the other day I got quite annoyed at a young lady sat opposite me on the tube who was flashing. Why would they do that?

I've never been flashed by a woman like that. What bit did she flash?

Why would she do it? Turn on, not knowing, liked you, who knows?

kittykarate

skylight wrote: »

I know I may get slatted for this and I do believe in my right to wear what I like, but I also prefer to stay safe. Therefore what she wears and how she displays herself may attract unwanted attention. So a large coat that may not be pretty/fashionable but covers everything, hair tied back and lipstick wiped off etc.

Weird, sexual predators do not really care what you look like.

If I suggested soemthing like - Maybe she should cut to the chase and wear a niquab? Then no man will be inflamed by desire for her?

I'd be justifiably flamed. All you are suggesting is a more westernised view.

The trouble is, by suggesting she dress down, and look more dowdy, you are implying that by dressing nicely and looking pretty it is HER FAULT somehow. And this is so not true, I've been hassled by bus perverts and I'm a size 18, never wears makeup and 40 year old.

bitemebankers

prowla wrote: »

And, putting the shoe on the other foot, the other day I got quite annoyed at a young lady sat opposite me on the tube who was flashing. Why would they do that?

You were annoyed? Does not compute...! Sounds incredibly hot to me.