Advice on rejecting men....

Person_one

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Could I just gently remind everyone, that not every bloke who wants to talk to a decent looking girl, is out to waylay or touch her up in some way.

Obviously I'm not defending any bad behaivior, but there aren't that many places a bloke is allowed to talk to women and chat them up any more, it's frowned at, at alot of work places, women are becoming generally alot more aggressive in pubs and well Tesco's is OK, but you're just as likely to be called a pervert for trying to have a discussion over the sage and onion balls, as not.

Also I'm not interested in meeting anyone, but I still like talking to people and why wouldn't I like talking to a good looking girl? Oh yes, because I'm automatically thought of as a wierdo. This may have something to do with the fact, that good looking women complain that no decent guys chat them up.

Just to balance it out a little.

Honestly, men don't have some god-given right to try and chat up any woman they like the look of, even if they don't intend to assault or harass her.

Most people at Tesco just want to get on with their shopping, people on the bus just want to get to where they're going.

Look, when you're approached by a strange man you have absolutely no idea if he's nice, if he'll accept a no graciously or if he'll be one of the ones who'll lay into you for being a frigid b!*ch, or start asking why you're so unfriendly, or if you're a lesbian, demanding that you tell him why you think you're too good for him and why you're so up yourself, you don't know if he'll be one who gets his mates to start harassing you too, or tries to follow you home, or decides that his mission for the night is to prove to you that you were wrong about him.

It can get exhausting, and its a rubbish way to spend a night out.

mynameissophie

I have been in this position and there isn't anything more uncomfortable than someone watching you or sitting next to you and staring however I haven't ever had anyone touch me. I normally just get my phone out and pretending i'm texting or put my headphones in even if i'm not listening to music. That normally works for me.. But I have to say I don't live in London, i live in a small town so it isn't nearly as bad! I hope that soon she feels safe and finds a way thats right for her to stay safe in London.

Peater

Risky strategy would be to go the other way, when you see a sexy perv looking at you start blowing kisses and patting the seat next to you. Out mentalling a mental is very rewarding.

scheming_gypsy

telling a bloke you've got a boyfriend has a low rate of success. She needs to carry a few thing with her.
1 - A pregnancy test kit. If it looks like the scenario is going to happen again, she pulls it out of the bag and starts looking at it as though she's dreading taking the test.
2 - leaflets on STi's and a tube of cream. Again, she pulls them out and starts looking at them.

If he still carries on talking to her then he's a keeper.

Lotus-eater

Person_one wrote: »

Honestly, men don't have some god-given right to try and chat up any woman they like the look of, even if they don't intend to assault or harass her.

No wonder internet dating is so massive.

If we ever lost the internet, the population would plummet!

lostinrates

Person_one wrote: »

Honestly, men don't have some god-given right to try and chat up any woman they like the look of, even if they don't intend to assault or harass her.

.

well...they do have a right to...I don't think god has much to do with it, just as we have the right to say ''no thanls'' and be listened too.


tbh, I used to quite like being chatte up by nice men.....you miss it when its gone!

bitemebankers

Person_one wrote: »

Honestly, men don't have some god-given right to try and chat up any woman they like the look of, even if they don't intend to assault or harass her.

Most people at Tesco just want to get on with their shopping, people on the bus just want to get to where they're going.

Err, actually, I think you'll find there's no law against talking to one's fellow commuters on public transport, as long as it's not harassing or threatening, which certainly would be wrong. So, yes, we do have a right to chat to anyone.

Personally, I'd be more than happy to natter away to the person I'm sitting next to on the bus or train, or queuing next to at the supermarket. And if someone is charming, it's even nicer.

Person_one

Lotus-eater wrote: »

No wonder internet dating is so massive.

If we ever lost the internet, the population would plummet!

Well, arranged marriages and formal courtships used to be the norm. In my experience more people form relationships from an organically developing friendship that happens through work, a shared interest or mutual friends than end up with strangers who chatted them up in Tesco.

If it weren't for the ever present possibility that the person trying to chat you up is over persistent, creepy or aggressive then it wouldn't be so bad, but the reality is that every time you get a chat up line from a random stranger you have to be immediately on your guard, so there goes your relaxing trip to the shops/pub/museum etc.

I don't know, maybe I attract a lot of nutters, but all I think when I see someone approaching with intent is 'Oh Christ, I hope this one can take a hint.'

bitemebankers

Person_one wrote: »

If it weren't for the ever present possibility that the person trying to chat you up is over persistent, creepy or aggressive then it wouldn't be so bad, but the reality is that every time you get a chat up line from a random stranger you have to be immediately on your guard

"Ever present possibility" Please tell me you're not being entirely serious here?

Some people aren't very nice - get over it. They're a minority. If you're constantly "on your guard" I think that says more about you and how you perceive the world than anyone else.

Person_one

bitemebankers wrote: »

"Ever present possibility" Please tell me you're not being entirely serious here?

Some people aren't very nice - get over it. They're a minority. If you're constantly "on your guard" I think that says more about you and how you perceive the world than anyone else.

Are you male?

If 90% of men are perfectly lovely then that means 10% aren't, and I have no idea if they guy trying it on by the fruit and veg is in the 90 or the 10, so yes, it is an ever present possibility.

I'm not constantly on my guard, but my guard goes up as soon a strange man tries to chat me up or starts following me, staring at me etc.

What does it say about me?