Advice on rejecting men....

Lotus-eater

kittykarate wrote: »

and I'm a size 18, never wears makeup and 40 year old.

And that's bad why? Not everyone loves size 10 dolled up to the nines Cheryl lookalikes.

Buses do sound a hotbed of unwanted attention though, I haven't been on one since I left school, so wouldn't know. I even believe that horses don't pull them anymore.

Lotus-eater

bitemebankers wrote: »

You were annoyed? Does not compute...! Sounds incredibly hot to me.

It does to me too, there really is a big difference between men and women.

lostinrates

kittykarate wrote: »

And this is so not true, I've been hassled by bus perverts and I'm a size 18, never wears makeup and 40 year old.

I've been ''young and hot'' and a now early thirties and less so. It happens, but it happens significantly less often. I DID notice a difference in behaviour in how I was dressed and who I was with when younger...while not a popular opinion, t was my experience. I still dressed ''like me'' but with precautions when I might be travelling home on public t....a change of shoes and a coat or cardi really can change...not the hardened pervs, but the ''inappropriate'' and unwanted comments. Its very different ''risks'' in my mind.

BugglyB

Lotus-eater wrote: »

It does to me too, there really is a big difference between men and women.

Yes, there is, that being that men just do not suffer from the unwanted attention that women do. I'm not talking about people sitting down next to you and asking you out, and I doubt kittykarate was either. I'm not talking about someone saying 'nice day isn't it, could I take you for a coffee some time?' or complimenting you on the colour of your eyes.

I'm talking about things like upskirting, know what that is? If you don't, google it, but not while you're at work!

When you talk about unwanted attention, most men think 'oh I wouldn't mind if a woman did that to me so what do they complain about', well think about how you'd feel if someone who looked like your sweaty uncle nigel sat down next to you and started stroking your leg.

Lotus-eater

BugglyB wrote: »

Yes, there is, that being that men just do not suffer from the unwanted attention that women do. I'm not talking about people sitting down next to you and asking you out, and I doubt kittykarate was either. I'm not talking about someone saying 'nice day isn't it, could I take you for a coffee some time?' or complimenting you on the colour of your eyes.

I'm talking about things like upskirting, know what that is? If you don't, google it, but not while you're at work!

When you talk about unwanted attention, most men think 'oh I wouldn't mind if a woman did that to me so what do they complain about', well think about how you'd feel if someone who looked like your sweaty uncle nigel sat down next to you and started stroking your leg.

None of the men who have replied, have tried to defend any reprehensible behaviour. From sweaty uncle Nigel, or any one else.

I was merely trying to add a little balance to the discussion, which I think had maybe swung a little too far the other way, that's all.

We're not all perverts with mirrors on our shoes.

Random

As someone said before, assertiveness is a good idea. When walking, walk confidently and don't look lost.

On the bus or train alone, if I don't want to talk, I take a keen interest in the scenery or my phone, and try to project a 'go away' vibe. In the pub, my other half is often working, so I appear to be alone (or just with other girls). Quite often I'd get drunks trying to talk to me, I'd just look straight through them and not respond. Very rude, but they soon got the message. The other girlfriends would try to be polite, then end up with a hanger on for the rest of the evening.

The one occasion I couldn't get rid of someone, I had a bloke in a takeaway ask if he could touch my hair. I said no, and he kept badgering me over and over. Eventually, in my fiercest Mum voice, I said 'I... SAID... NO!' It actually scared him out of the takeaway. I could hear him outside taking the !!!!, but he was doing it from a very safe distance.

londonsurrey

You get all kinds. I remember reading a book by a female journalist. At one point, she was living in another country, fully burkha'd up, and described an attempted assault by a young male. He approached her, "staring at approximately where he thought my breasts were". LOL

Just this weekend, I've just been complimented/insulted (you decide) with the line "You have a body like an Adonis". Just how flat chested am I really? :rotfl:

Lotus-eater

londonsurrey wrote: »

Just this weekend, I've just been complimented/insulted (you decide) with the line "You have a body like an Adonis". Just how flat chested am I really? :rotfl:

I think that's more of a comment on how stupid he is

AdmiralX

Mojisola wrote: »

I think that's because they don't get reported, not that they don't happen!

I don't know of anyone who has been groped or pestered who has reported it. Only much more serious incidents get reported.

Are you not worried about the rise in London Transport fares? Many people actually do so

BugglyB

Lotus-eater wrote: »

None of the men who have replied, have tried to defend any reprehensible behaviour. From sweaty uncle Nigel, or any one else.

I was merely trying to add a little balance to the discussion, which I think had maybe swung a little too far the other way, that's all.

We're not all perverts with mirrors on our shoes.

Now, be fair, the post I quoted was you saying theres a big difference between men and women, in reference to another man saying he was flashed, and you and another guy saying 'sounds great!'. All I was doing is saying most 'flasher experiences' are not 'incredibly hot', and not like george clooney giving you a eyeful, you know?

I'm more than aware that not all men are perverts, yes. Most women, for what its worth, enjoy being talked to nicely and complimented, even by strangers. But thats different to what we're talking about on this thread.