Advice on rejecting men....

pimento

kittykarate wrote: »

..I've been hassled by bus perverts and I'm a size 18, never wears makeup and 40 year old.

Wait until you hit 50, you're immediately invisible to everyone.

londonsurrey

BugglyB wrote: »

Kicking someone in the nuts is a bad idea too. You are more likely to end up arrested for assault yourself!

Only if you stand about, outraged.
After kicking, SCARPER!

londonsurrey

pimento wrote: »

Wait until you hit 50, you're immediately invisible to everyone.

Not to men. My best friend is 51, in a wheelchair with multiple health problems, tubes sticking out, etc.

She's invisible to morons who keep bumping into her. The problem? They bump her fingers into the spokes of her wheelchair, breaking her fingers. This happens a few times a year.

But the creepy men, they don't mind a wheelchair, or women over 50.

Errata

AdmiralX wrote: »

Are you not worried about the rising fares in the underground? That is a real rape... and rip off... Well that is one of my biggest problems at the moment
:rotfl::rotfl:

oh well, I suppose the day you get real raped you won't be much troubled by it, will you?

euronorris

BugglyB wrote: »

Now, be fair, the post I quoted was you saying theres a big difference between men and women, in reference to another man saying he was flashed, and you and another guy saying 'sounds great!'. All I was doing is saying most 'flasher experiences' are not 'incredibly hot', and not like george clooney giving you a eyeful, you know?

I'm more than aware that not all men are perverts, yes. Most women, for what its worth, enjoy being talked to nicely and complimented, even by strangers. But thats different to what we're talking about on this thread.

Yes, I agree with the above.

Plus, OH is always telling me that guys just don't tend to get approached by women half as much as women are approached by men. So, for most guys, the attention is probably welcomed in most cases simply because it's rare.

This isn't the case for most women.

Then there is the obvious size/weight difference, which can be very intimidating in it's own right. Add into the mix someone who's made it VERY clear how attracted to you they are, and that they obviously can't take no for an answer, and it's really very scary. You hope they'll go away, but there's no guarantee and then what's next?

The majority of guys are lovely, and the creeps are in the minority, it's true. But it's also true that you just can't tell which is which until you're being harassed (which is too late!), so it's natural for us to have our guards up whenever we are approached by a man. I wish it didn't have to be that way, but for our own safety, it has to be.

I've experienced quite a range of different behaviour from guys out and about (anywhere public - public transport isn't the only place this happens). From the nice guy who helped me find the right platform to get the right train home from when I was lost, to the creep who just wouldn't leave me alone when I was in nightclub in Kent - I was wearing jeans and a top (not low cut) before anyone suggests my clothing had anything to do with it - I tried to tell him politely, to leave me alone, didn't work. Told him to f'ck off, didn't work. Apparantly, I wanted to be with him, I just didn't know it yet (!!!). Tried walking away and completely ignoring him, didn't work. So I went to the bouncers and had his creepy @ss booted outta there.

That last example - that's the sh't we're talking about! Alcohol certainly seems to make it worse. The more drunk they are, the more persistent they become.

AdmiralX

Memory_Girl wrote: »

Mind you I am not sure I would ever use that tactic on the night bus

MG

Indeed. It is not only nigh buses you should be careful. It is best to move away as soon as you feel something is wrong.

You do not ever know who is standing on the train next you.

The daughter of a friend was waiting East End, 1am with boyfriend at bus stop. She was attacked badly by a gang of girls and boys with knifes, has spine injury etc, spend days in hospital and will be in pain we do not know for how long.

Wilma33

Make sure she knows she doesn't have to answer people's questions honestly! When I first moved to London, if a creepy guy on the tube asked me a question (my name, where I was going, etc) then I would just answer it honestly as it felt rude to ignore him or lie. Doh!

On the tube, if you feel at all uncomfortable then get off at the next station and get straight back on another carriage.

On the bus, if someone is making you feel uncomfortable then when you get off at your stop STAY AT THE BUS STOP UNTIL THE BUS PULLS AWAY. If you don't then it's easy for someone to follow of you off the bus and follow you home. If you stay at the bus stop then if the creep also gets off then you can get back on and talk to the driver.

Been touched up on a rush hour tube is probably the bad thing that is most likely to happen So she might like to think through how she would deal with that.

onlyroz

I must be butt-ugly then, because I never felt unsafe while walking through London on my own.

lynzpower

AdmiralX wrote: »

Are you not worried about the rising fares in the underground? That is a real rape... and rip off... Well that is one of my biggest problems at the moment
:rotfl::rotfl:

Dont degrade the experience of rape victims like this. Its offensive in the extreme.

lostinrates

onlyroz wrote: »

I must be butt-ugly then, because I never felt unsafe while walking through London on my own.

maybe you just emit this magic ''vibe'' that others of us lack