Advice on rejecting men....

euronorris

Person_one wrote: »

The problem with 'I have a boyfriend' is that it implies that if she didn't he might be in with a chance, the boyfriend is the only barrier. I know I know, it makes no sense to a normal person but sexual harassers have a weird world view.

I spent 3 years getting night buses from central London back to the outskirts, it wasn't much fun!

I agree with the above. The next response from them is usually 'Well dump him/he's no good for you/i'm better/you know you're not really happy with him anyway/he won't know.' etc etc etc.

bitemebankers

BugglyB wrote: »

All I was doing is saying most 'flasher experiences' are not 'incredibly hot', and not like george clooney giving you a eyeful, you know?

I don't think anyone was saying anything different. Female-to-male flashing is clearly a much rarer thing, and specific to that point. Nobody has claimed that male-to-female flashing is anything other than stalky and unpleasant.

londonsurrey

I don't even like George Clooney.

BugglyB

londonsurrey wrote: »

I don't even like George Clooney.

You know, me neither. And my uncle nige really is a nice guy, despite his struggle with 'boundaries'.

Tropez

cantbebothered2 wrote: »

From a guys point of view

I find this just nuts that guys have the nerve to do this...anyway

I would recommend 2/3 things
1) Self defence classes
2) Pepper spray
3) If standing up just knee them in the balls, it will put down ANY bloke no matter how big for at least 5 mins. trust me no pain like it for a guy. He WILL go down.

If your not confident with any of them just scream as loud as you can, I know if i was on a bus and I heard a girl scream I would be straight upstairs/downstairs in a flash and im not the biggest person in the world. 90% of guys will help a girl out.

Definitely do not attempt to purchase pepper spray.

Under UK law, pepper spray is considered a firearm (under Section 5 of the Firearms Act) and is classed on the same terms as a handgun. If caught with it, or caught trying to import it, the maximum penalty is up to ten years in prison, although you will most likely receive a fine, non-custodial sentence and a criminal record for possession of an unlawful firearm.

On top of that, our company's US offices conducted a research project into the effectiveness of pepper sprays. Out of 1,000 cases of their discharge, 38% of people using them for self defence ended up on the receiving end of the spray. Too many people panic when trying to use pepper spray, do not aim the nozzle correctly and do not know how to use the substance effectively.

BugglyB

Kicking someone in the nuts is a bad idea too. You are more likely to end up arrested for assault yourself!

AdmiralX

cantbebothered2 wrote: »

From a guys point of view

I find this just nuts that guys have the nerve to do this...anyway

I had my purse stollen but do not know the sex of the person, male or female. It is awful to loose all your cash.

You do not always know the sex of the pick pocket, do you?

duchy

I think most men don't really "get it" that we're not talking about Jack the Lad chatting up every woman he can but something more akin for them to a man (assuming they are hetro) hitting on them and not taking the hint- getting too close and even touching them and telling them they know they are secretly gay -"want it" etc. Add in a possibility they are physically larger and stronger than you are too and you feel intimidated.
If your skin is now crawling gentlemen -then now you understand how WE feel with these creeps.

Tropez

BugglyB wrote: »

Kicking someone in the nuts is a bad idea too. You are more likely to end up arrested for assault yourself!

True. It is also worth bearing in mind that if the person you are attempting to attack has good reactions, they may be able to catch your leg, or otherwise interfere with your attempt to kick them which can put you in an extremely vulnerable position.

If you were to try to kick someone, the most easily available vulnerable part of the body that is difficult to counter against is the side of the knee but that relies on a degree of accuracy you would generally only have through practice in self-defence classes.

HelenYorkshire

Back to the OP - I'm afraid she needs to cultivate her "b1tchface" and not be afraid to be rude.
I'm another one who has had all kinds of trouble, and although it is sad, I AM on my guard when any stranger strikes up conversation. There are no flashing lights above the creeps' heads! And yes, it IS exhausting.
Have her stand up tall, shoulders back, swagger a little as she walks. She must "own" the path. And if she's lost, she strides confidently to the nearest shop or library etc


In my case, steel toed work boots, a dog on a rope, and a coating of mud seem to see most people off!

Also, in the case of a chap getting on the nearly-empty bus, a glance/nod/smile/"hi" then him sitting at least one seat away is grand